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You know your a gearhead if...


TerminalVelocity
10-28-2002, 05:10 AM
you refer to the first corner by your house as "turn one"

you constantly tell your friends how fast you've been here..."I've taken this turn at 108mph"

you have to wear an oxygen mask like Air Force pilots when racing

you refuse to let any potential sports car pass you

you also can identify a car by its headlights

your ears go up like a dogs when you hear a nice exhaust or engine rev

you race shopping carts for a quick fix

you time yourself at the gas station (fill up, clean windows, check fluids, etc)

you custom mounted a set of Eibach's, Bilstien's and 1.5" sway bars onto your office chair that also has a Sparco racing seat with a 4-point Simpson harness

you have 2 pieces of wood on your driveway so you car wont scrape when you pull in

you replaced the airfilter in your mom's geo with a conical K&N

your garage looks like a high preformance parts store

the Snap-on guy comes directly to your house

your buying 2 new tires every month

you have your license, registration, and proof of insurance out at the slightist posibility that the car behind you is a cop

there are burn out marks all the way down your block

when your having a BBQ at your house your block looks like a car show

when ur bored u just cruise the streets lookin for someone to fuck with

your only home to eat, sleep and work on your car

you take your date to either the dragstrip, street races or a car show

you keep your tickets displayed on the wall

you take every curb/speedbump at an angle and at 1MPH so you don't scrape (or some of us rally over it to catch air...redneck)

you park your car yourself, no valet stuff

you hate birdshit with a passion

the "Oh Shit" handle is grabbed by the passenger more than once in a quick trip to 7-11 for some munchies

you rev on cops that have people pulled over (mainly to piss the guy off that's pulled over...expecially if you know him/her)

no matter how big of a rush your in...you'll stop to look at a tricked out car

you rather starve then not eat at Taco Bell atleast once a week

only bathroom you use at night is either the one at chevron or some bushes

you have a "people should take the bus" mentality

you have no choice but to park next to someone...you jot down the cars make, year, model and licence plates number incase you come back to find a scratch or dent

you find yourself talking to your car while driving as if it were a passenger

people drive you crazy when they give you "wrong" information on their car (DMC12...."its a fiero with a v12")

you have a tendency to "drive it like you stole it"

you rather be "blown than stroked"

:bandit:

Polygon
10-28-2002, 01:01 PM
Yes, I fall under many of those, I think it is scarry that I can indentify cars by their headlights.

And the oh shit bars, the Vision has them but the LeBaron didn't. It was always funny having someone reach for them and then when they couldn't find them they'd blurt out OH SHIT!!

TerminalVelocity
10-28-2002, 04:06 PM
in Rednecks nova, your hand would get cut if you tryed that :p

94svt5.0
10-28-2002, 06:33 PM
I can identify crown vic lights from 1/2 a mile away. Now, when I park in a parking lot, its in the very back, at least 10 empty spaces between the nearest car is a must, and I double park. If there is some type of curb area I park next to it, to minimize available contact area. If I have no other option and have to park next to another car, i memorize there liscence plate. Dents, I must not get a dent!

TatII
10-28-2002, 07:30 PM
wow i fit into alot of these, heres what i fit into.

1: you constantly tell your friends how fast you've been here..."I've taken this turn at 108mph"

2: you also can identify a car by its headlights * i can even identfy them by seeing only a part of the 3/4 panel and the rest of the car is covered by a tree and otehr cars, and i can almost specifiy with nissan's on which year they're from and what generation they are just by look at small portion of the car*

3: your ears go up like a dogs when you hear a nice exhaust or engine rev

4: there are burn out marks all the way down your block

5: you hate birdshit with a passion * i get bombed atleast once a day!!*

6: no matter how big of a rush your in...you'll stop to look at a tricked out car * i hit a curb like that once, and i popped my tires liek that once, and got into many close calls casue i was too mesomorized lolz*

7: you find yourself talking to your car while driving as if it were a passenger

8: people drive you crazy when they give you "wrong" information on their car (DMC12...."its a fiero with a v12")
*those guys dont' deserve their cars if they can't even identify their own car*

9: you rather be "blown than stroked" * yup i'd rather be forced induced then to have a stroker kit ^_^*

DMC12
10-28-2002, 08:33 PM
It used to be really easy to tell cars by their headlights at night... now Kias look like Bentlys, etc...

Yes. I'll remeber that night for a long time ("its a fiero with a v12") :rolleyes:

"you keep your tickets displayed on the wall"- When its a milestone in the miscarriage of U.S. justice, then yes I do.

No valet for me... haven't you seen "Ferris Bueler's Day Off"?

-The Stig-
10-28-2002, 11:14 PM
Originally posted by TerminalVelocity
in Rednecks nova, your hand would get cut if you tryed that :p


PSHHH ... SO? You sound like its a bad thing? Like Tetnis shots dont hurt!



Hell we put the OH SHIT handles to use in the Pathfinder... OH BEHOLD THE GLORY of the PATHFINDER!! *chants n mumbles*

Oh the Rally sessions the Pathfinder had... like that one time we rallied in the field with the dirt bikers? ahhaha

For you folks at home, we found this open field next to a freeway and with our adventurous spirits we decided to test the Pathfinders abilities... WEEEE!

So we see these kids ridding Honda's, Suzuki's and the such in the dirt trying like hell to be like the next motocross superstar. And here comes this 87 Nissan Pathfinder 4x4 drifting through the sand and dirt with 3 guys yellin obsenities passing them up like no tommorow taking the 2ft 'whoops' (jumps) like it was nothing... They must of felt like crap... Im sorry Kids... no wait.. no im not! You got OWNED by the PATHFINDER!!! hahahaha. We later almost rolled the mighty Pathfinder going 50mph up a slight embankment which launched us... as we landed I made a abbrupt turn as the left side of the car came up... the oh shit handles were in full use...

About a year and half later told my mother of what i did to her Pathfinder... lets just say she hit me really really hard. But it was worth it. :D

TerminalVelocity
10-28-2002, 11:20 PM
you forgot the wookie hanging out the window flailing at the kids! :p

Ah the days of the pathfinder...we must do it again sometime for old times sake

-The Stig-
10-28-2002, 11:34 PM
You think the primary purpose of wings is to PREVENT flight.

You take your helmet along when you go to buy new eyeglasses or check out cars.

You are happiest when your street car's tires are worn to racing depth and the wear bars are showing.

When something falls off of your car, you wonder how much weight you just saved.

Your email address refers to your race car rather than to you.

You've paid $4.00 a gallon for gas without complaining.

You bought a race car before buying a house.

You bought a race car before buying furniture for the new house.

You're looking for a tow vehicle and still haven't bought furniture!

The requirements you give your real estate agent are (in order of importance):
1) 8 car climate controlled garage with an attached shop.
2) Outside parking for 6 cars, a motor home, a crew cab dually, a 28' enclosed trailer and a 34' 5th wheel.
3) 3 phase 220V outlets in the garage for your welder.
4) A grease pit.
5) Deaf neighbors.
6) Some sort of house with a working toilet & shower on the property - or - hookups for the motor home.

You sit in your race car in a dark garage and make car noises and shift and practice your heel and toe, while waiting for your motor to get back from the machine shop.

You have enough spare parts to build another car.

More than one racer supply store recognizes your voice and greets you by name when you call.

You think the last line of the Star Spangled banner is: "Racers start your engines!"

People know you by your class, car number, and car color.

You astound the clerk at Sears by bringing in a snapped breaker bar every other week or so.

Your family brings the couch into the garage to spend time with you.

A neighbor asks if you have any oil, to which you query, "Synthetic or organic?" and they reply, "Vegetable or corn."

You enjoy driving in the rain on the way to work.

You always want to change something on your street car to make it handle better.

You've tried to convince your wife you needed that flow bench to fix the air filter on her station wagon.

You save broken car parts as "momentous".

You've found your lawnmower runs pretty good on 108 octane gas (but doesn't particularly care for alcohol).

The local police and state highway patrol have a picture of your car taped to their dashboard.

Instead of pictures in your wallet, you have time slips.

You quote your street tire wear life in weeks rather than miles.

After you tell your wife where you'd like to go on vacation she answers: "Why...is there a race there?"

You know at least three 1-800 numbers to aftermarket parts houses by heart.

You are on a first-name basis with owners of every local speed shop.

You want to take apart and rebuild things, even though they are not broken.

You have the monetary equivalent of a lunar rocket invested in it, but your car still won't cut a good light or run the number.

You own a vehicle that has at least 500 horsepower more than when it came out of Detroit.

You look for hi-po cars in the movies and try to guess what engine size, tire size, and whether or not it has nitrous in it.

You are the type of person who goes postal when you have to sit in a traffic jam for more than five minutes, yet you can spend five hours in the staging lanes.

Every stoplight becomes a practice tree to test your ability to tree the guy in the other lane's eyes out.

You wash your car like it was your firstborn child, you tend to its needs like it was your own body, you protect it like it's your family, then you drive it like you stole it.

You understand racing is a way of life, not just a means of transportation.

Monkey-Magic-S15-R
10-29-2002, 07:04 AM
i fall under many of those too altho looking at a car and nearly hitting a cop doesn't seem to be listed under that ..........................

Toksin
11-01-2002, 07:06 PM
The local police and state highway patrol have a picture of your car taped to their dashboard.


:hehehe: :hehe: :hehehe: :hehe:

Layla's Keeper
11-02-2002, 10:32 PM
You forgot these.

You know you're a gearhead if...

...you can pronounce Murciealago, even though you failed spanish twice in high school

or

...you can prounounce Xsara, even though you failed french twice in high school.

...you lust after parts for cars you don't even own. (wow! Check out that set of aluminum lower control arms for a Volvo P1800es.)

...you've haggled over the remains of lower models of great sportscars, knowing that all that stood between the scrap in question and true motoring bliss was a handful of bolt-on parts from the manufacturer. Even though you also knew that the manufacturer was no longer in existance and that the parts you need are obscenely expensive and keeping the OG examples running. (this happened to my Dad when he was Austin-Healey shopping)

...you left flowers on the grave of at least one great driver/designer. (Bill Mitchell and Raymond Loewy, in my case)

DeViL
11-03-2002, 12:14 AM
you take every curb/speedbump at an angle and at 1MPH so you don't scrape

I supremely fall under this one. I already said before about my 300 pound friend getting in and scraping the exhaust tips because how heavy he was. I don't even think I'm going a 1 mph when rolling over a speed bump.

carrrnuttt
11-03-2002, 02:30 AM
How about being able to name what part you were working on for every scar on your hands/fingers?

How about the fact that your engine bay is cleaner than your bedroom?

I fall in both categories, and a lot of the previous ones...

danno_SS
11-03-2002, 06:48 AM
You know you're a gearhead if...

Gojo exists in all bathrooms in your household.

You own more coveralls than dress pants.

You've grown to like the taste of 30 weight on your pizza or burger.

You're fairly confident that, after tunning them up, all of your family members' cars can cut 14s

You haven't been to the doctor or dentist in 13 years, yet you service your car religiously and get it detailed at least every other month.

student_anonymous
11-07-2002, 10:37 AM
I'll be short winded here...everything on this list applies to me unless it means having sunk more then 15 bucks into something other then the car!!

What can i day? I'm a cheap! (hypocrite too, considering the price of cigarettes!)

:D

Dieselwolf
11-19-2004, 09:50 PM
wow i fit into alot of these, heres what i fit into.

1: you constantly tell your friends how fast you've been here..."I've taken this turn at 108mph"

2: you also can identify a car by its headlights * i can even identfy them by seeing only a part of the 3/4 panel and the rest of the car is covered by a tree and otehr cars, and i can almost specifiy with nissan's on which year they're from and what generation they are just by look at small portion of the car*

3: your ears go up like a dogs when you hear a nice exhaust or engine rev

4: there are burn out marks all the way down your block

5: you hate birdshit with a passion * i get bombed atleast once a day!!*

6: no matter how big of a rush your in...you'll stop to look at a tricked out car * i hit a curb like that once, and i popped my tires liek that once, and got into many close calls casue i was too mesomorized lolz*

7: you find yourself talking to your car while driving as if it were a passenger

8: people drive you crazy when they give you "wrong" information on their car (DMC12...."its a fiero with a v12")
*those guys dont' deserve their cars if they can't even identify their own car*

9: you rather be "blown than stroked" * yup i'd rather be forced induced then to have a stroker kit ^_^*
where'd you get that anime chick icon?

CivRacer95
11-19-2004, 10:20 PM
I know I'm a gearhead when I totalled 3 cars while racing. LOL. Sorry that one is dumb. That's just me though. The only reason I try to identify headlights at night is to make sure a cop isn't around or up ahead. It helps, now I know what they look like. Late...

CBFryman
11-19-2004, 10:50 PM
i fall under most of thoes...scary. i can always tell who's parents are picking up who after soccer practice... at 6:30 when its dark. simply from beam patterns, head light/fog light position and color, and shape.

but...

You Might Be a Gearhead IF...

-You think of Formula 1, Lemans, CART, D1, NHRA, JGTC, Solo II, and your best AutoX time on a particular course more than:
Eating at Taco Bell (DAMN!)
Your Girlfriend
Sex
The Blue and Red Lighes behind you flashing after you drifted off into your JGTC mode.

-You'll skip chemistry home work to get a good nights sleep but you wont eat untill you have your current project on your car finished.

-You go through more than one case of beer while changing the oil.

-You Drift your moms Nissan Frontier

-You race your moms Nissan Frontier

-You Learned how to power brake before you learned how to use the turn signal.

-you shift at 5,000RPM in every day driving

-you double clutch downshift in everyday driving

-you buy new 3 peace forged rims tires, not because they look cool, but because they are lighter and the rubber is stickeyer.

-your have wet dreams about Jaguars, Ferrari's, Lambi's, TVC's, McClarins, Hemi Cuda's, GT500Kr's, etc...

-you run into $700 cash, but that very smae day your front bumper falls off while going 60 down the high way and your run over it. new bumper $200 paint $150. but insead you spend $0.99 on zip ties and $20 on bondo and the other $679.01 on forged internals so you can raise boost to 1.5 bar.

-your engine and drive train cost more than the car is worth

-Josh-
11-19-2004, 11:42 PM
:1: to Carrrnuttt's post
I have a few myself:

-You stay up all night looking over wiring diagrams to your Electronic ABS system.
-You do more research and parts finding on your friends cars than they do.
-Your always trying to lower your 1/4 mile times, even though you're positive another .014 seconds off the time will probably put you in the wall.
-You dream about waking up in the morning to fix/adjust the gear backlash on your carrier assembly.
-Your motto is "A car is NEVER finished" (thanks to my dad for that one)
-You dream of that performance part that's only $2000 dollars out of your price range, but if you can figure out how to rebuild it you can get it on Ebay for $200.

-The Stig-
11-20-2004, 04:10 AM
Wow, old as hell thread.


But since you kiddies are staying on topic for the time being.. I'll leave it open.

Mediocrity
11-20-2004, 02:06 PM
hehe... the snapon man used to come to our house :P

nissanfanatic
11-20-2004, 02:08 PM
You know you're a gearhead if you:

sit up to 4 o'clock in the morning on the computer reading stuff on your car.

check your car forums at work

do more math for your car than you ever did in school

learned more math involving cars than you ever did in school

guys twenty years older than you ask about advice on thier cars

have more tools laying on your floorboard then you do in your garage.

have an intercooler laying in your room

car smells like oil

your first impression of someone else who is talking about cars is always "He's full of shit". Then you get to know him and he's alright.

BTW has anyone seen that commercial on Speed channel where it shows everyone explaining stuff with thier hands? "This is how speed is explained," or something? Its funny because I never noticed I did that until I saw the commercial. You know you're a gearhead if you do that.lol Whatever.

-The Stig-
11-20-2004, 03:55 PM
The Language of Speed...

It's a Dunlap commercial I believe. Good stuff... all car guys do it and Pilots too... And Italians.

CassiesMan
11-20-2004, 04:58 PM
you constantly tell your friends how fast you've been here..."I've taken this turn at 108mph"

you refuse to let any potential sports car pass you

you also can identify a car by its headlights

your ears go up like a dogs when you hear a nice exhaust or engine rev

you race shopping carts for a quick fix

you have your license, registration, and proof of insurance out at the slightist posibility that the car behind you is a cop

when your having a BBQ at your house your block looks like a car show

when ur bored u just cruise the streets lookin for someone to fuck with

you take your date to the street races

you park your car yourself, no valet stuff

you hate birdshit with a passion

the "Oh Shit" handle is grabbed by the passenger more than once in a quick trip to 7-11 for some munchies

no matter how big of a rush your in...you'll stop to look at a tricked out car

you rather starve then not eat at Taco Bell atleast once a week

you have a "people should take the bus" mentality

you have no choice but to park next to someone...you jot down the cars make, year, model and licence plates number incase you come back to find a scratch or dent

you find yourself talking to your car while driving as if it were a passenger

people drive you crazy when they give you "wrong" information on their car (DMC12...."its a fiero with a v12")

you have a tendency to "drive it like you stole it"

you rather be "blown than stroked"

sit up to 4 o'clock in the morning on the computer reading stuff on your car.

check your car forums at work

do more math for your car than you ever did in school

learned more math involving cars than you ever did in school

guys twenty years older than you ask about advice on thier cars

You do more research and parts finding on your friends cars than they do

your first impression of someone else who is talking about cars is always "He's full of shit". Then you get to know him and he's alright.

You're fairly confident that, after tunning them up, all of your family members' cars can cut 14s


Hello, my name is Robert, and I am gearhead...

Also:

You and your friends dont talk about that ///M3 down the block, its the Etiroblue E36.

Its not a Supra, its a dog

Loud BOVs make you soil yourself

When playing circle of death, people are afraid to use the car catagory because they know you cant loose

When playing circle of death, and the catagory is songs, 99% of the time your first song, no matter how intoxicated, is eiether 'Little old lady from passadena', 'Little GTO', 'Little Red Corvette' or any other song that has to do with cars

You get your friend to race his Ford F250 Power Stroke with the hopes that he'll catch the bug, sell it, and buy a fast car

You and your friend saved about a grand on parts by buying from ebay, saying screw profesionals, and putting all teh parts on on your own

You learn how to weild just so you can have the satisfaction of puttin your own exhaust on

You have at least five mix CDs of 'racing music'

Youd rather die of starvation than let someone else wash your car

and to top it all off...

You name your car, then your Automotive Forums screen name is the name of your car plus another noun or verb...i.e. Me...

eps
11-20-2004, 08:06 PM
When you turn Albertsons into your own drift track with your shopping cart.

nissanfanatic
11-20-2004, 09:29 PM
gotta love the wrecks.

Dog_soldier13
11-20-2004, 09:36 PM
after reading all this i know i am a gearhead

clawhammer
11-22-2004, 01:14 PM
Potential fines you get for your car (loud exhaust, illegal tires, etc) are more than what you're car is worth

76455Firebird
11-22-2004, 05:17 PM
Wow, it's amazing how many of those I fit into. Very, very scary that I can be identified by such a random list. :)

Ace$nyper
11-22-2004, 05:49 PM
LOL yea thats me =)

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