my predicament (long term relationship-related)

so it was about a month before school was out for the summer that i started dating this girl. I knew that she would be going home over the summer, and we both accepted the fact. my problem is that i have never done a long distance relationship. While i'm trying my hardest, its hard not to be able to see her every night like i used to when we were at school. While we never really established some rules or anything, we both figured that we would stay true to each other. Partially because she comes from a tiny-ass town in WY where pretty much the only guys there are the ones she went to high school with and already has the "friendship" status with. Plus, i think she is happy with me and doesn't want to risk that. I can always be wrong though.

I'm planning on going up to visit her in a week, but am wondering what else i can do, mostly to help the summer go faster. its hard because we got SO close in the month before she left. she has met most of my family, help me celebrate my first birthday without my mom, everything.

I guess my whole point of this post was sort of to get this off my chest, but to also see if anyone out there has any experience or advice with the whole long distance thing? i know many people frown upon it, and you can if you want. i already know that its hard and sometimes they won't work out. but i would much more appreciate advice or something intellectual than the general "hey man, long distance relationships don't work, cut your losses and start looking elsewhere" type response.

Once upon a time my girlfriend lived 100 miles away. We dated on weekends and wrote letters through the week. I went into the Army (600 miles away)and we wrote letters and saw each other less. We have been married over 35 years. These thing can work out. It takes two.
Best of luck,

Been there done that. I dated a girl long distance for about 4 years. She was 1,500 miles away in a place called New York. It worked really well, until I pretty much got bored. The 3rd year we were dating I decided to go to college up in NY. I got excepted. This was a completely different experience for me coming from Florida. So, I got bored...and yeah....They can work, and it takes a lot of trust. Plus, how old are you guys? I was 17 when I first started being with my LD gf. It takes incredible amonts of patients, trust and communication. Good luck bro!

-Chris

I got excepted.


man, you got accepted? imagine that. just playing, i had to crack on you for that.

Well i'm 23, she's 20. While it will only be a few months until she comes back here for the fall semester, i want us to be together when she comes back and am not really sure how to go about making sure that we keep the kind of relationship we had before she left. does that make sense?

for me, talking on the phone is huge, but it can only represent so much. for example, she loves to have her hair played with, even when we're just watchin tv or something. but i can't do that since i'm not with here. how do i convey those little aspects to her when we can only talk on the phone?

....SHIT! hahaha...my bad...wooops....long day!

-Chris...and yes, I was ACCEPTED.

I hear you man. Its difficult. The girl Im dating isnt long distance, more like our schedules conflict. The first week we met, we spent a lot of it together. Then it was a week before I saw her again, then week and a half, and so on. We went to dinner Monday for my b-day, and that was about all the time we were able to spend together, and it will be another two-four weeks until I get to see her again.

It fucking sucks donkey nuts. I think about her all the time, but what has really helped me get through it is the texting, and phone calls and IM's. If there's tension, I feel like absolute hell until we get through it. And then it makes it that much harder to wait until I see her.

So what helps me when I feel heartsick, I just dont think about her. Its hard not to, especially whenever I see a blonde, but I just think about racing, work, or my friends...though talking about it really helps me. Im able to talk about it with my coworkers, and feel better.

Good luck to you man.

I hear you man. Its difficult. The girl Im dating isnt long distance, more like our schedules conflict. The first week we met, we spent a lot of it together. Then it was a week before I saw her again, then week and a half, and so on. We went to dinner Monday for my b-day, and that was about all the time we were able to spend together, and it will be another two-four weeks until I get to see her again.

It fucking sucks donkey nuts. I think about her all the time, but what has really helped me get through it is the texting, and phone calls and IM's. If there's tension, I feel like absolute hell until we get through it. And then it makes it that much harder to wait until I see her.

So what helps me when I feel heartsick, I just dont think about her. Its hard not to, especially whenever I see a blonde, but I just think about racing, work, or my friends...though talking about it really helps me. Im able to talk about it with my coworkers, and feel better.

Good luck to you man.

yeah man, you hit it exactly on the head the way i feel. while yours may not be long distance, it sounds like its the same type of relationship. She's not big on the IM but texting yes, and i have to get better about the phone calls.

i also have to get better with the trust issue. its always been an issue for me, no matter who i'm with. its harder long distance, especially when you have some bad dreams. it will get better though. i'm goin up there in a week to see her so i'm happy

I think the trust issue is a big thing for everyone, depending on your prior relationship history or histories. Complete trust comes with time and lots of patience and understanding by your partner. I know, I've been there. It took me a long time to learn the meaning of complete trust. We started out as long distance mainly as friends, then I moved here and we upped it a notch and have been "together" for three years. So the whole long distance thing does work if you make it happen.