I need help sabotaging MY car!

Help! With 236,000 + miles on it, my 98 Ford Escort Wagon refuses to die! Any ideas how I can really discreetly sabotage my own car so my husband will give in and buy a new one? He's this close to getting that new car, but this little Escort stills runs well, so he needs a "little help" if you know what I mean. The tinkering needs to be safe (kids and I still use this car daily, but I can certainly "plan" ahead) and hopefully not obvious. He is not a mechanic, but he knows how a car runs and it's common problems. There's got to be something discreet I can do to mess up the engine a little?!

you can add 3 quarts of oil to the already 4 quarts in the engine. you can soak your air filter in a bucket of water and on day when it rains take it out in the rain and say the motor hydrolocked. drain your coolent, if the car is a automatic you can always try to mess up the tranny but doing stupied crap to it like putting it in reverse when moving forward.

personally i would go with the air filter one.

if u have hills nearby, and arent afraid to fly, you could always do some damage by trying to get some air. the landing i'm sure will screw up the car. it did to my neon(but it still runs)
you have a lot of miles on your car and it might b cheaper to just not take care of it, and let it have an aganizingly slow "death"

Two for sure ways to total it:

1) Put a hole in the roof.
2) Break all the glass.

Make up a story for how either of these happened (have some fun with it) and you'll be golden.

If all else fails, pour half a gallon of bleach in the tank. It'll corrode the metal components in the fuel system and the gas tank and send them all through the engine.

didnt she say this had to b done with safety. mine are out the window

lol

sugar in the gas tank

sugar in the gas tank

actually they tested that on mythbusters once, and it doesnt do nething. no if u wanted u could always try hot water with a borax type product, that will become more of a gack type thing and probably do some damage without hurting anyone

i heard somewhere to put strofoam in a gas tank will mess it up.