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God is real. True or False


kris
09-11-2001, 03:22 AM
Not to upset anyone or start any arguements but this is just how i look at the whole thing.

This morning there was a knock at my door. When I answered the door I found a
well groomed, nicely dressed couple. The man spoke first:

"Hi! I'm John, and this is Mary."
Mary: "Hi! We're here to invite you to come kiss Hank's ass with us."
Me: "Pardon me?! What are you talking about? Who's Hank, and why would I want
to kiss his ass?"
John: "If you kiss Hank's ass, he'll give you a million dollars; and if you
don't, he'll kick the sh!t out of you."
Me: "What? Is this some sort of bizarre mob shake-down?"
John: "Hank is a billionaire philanthropist. Hank built this town. Hank owns
this town. He can do what ever he wants, and what he wants is to give you a
million dollars, but he can't until you kiss his ass."
Me: "That doesn't make any sense. Why..."
Mary: "Who are you to question Hank's gift? Don't you want a million dollars?
Isn't it worth a little kiss on the ass?"
Me: "Well maybe, if it's legit, but..."
John: "Then come kiss Hank's ass with us."
Me: "Do you kiss Hank's ass often?"
Mary: "Oh yes, all the time..."
Me: "And has he given you a million dollars?"
John: "Well no, you don't actually get the money until you leave town."
Me: "So why don't you just leave town now?"
Mary: "You can't leave until Hank tells you to, or you don't get the money,
and he kicks the sh!t out of you."
Me: "Do you know anyone who kissed Hank's ass, left town, and got the million
dollars?"
John: "My mother kissed Hank's ass for years. She left town last year, and
I'm sure she got the money."
Me: "Haven't you talked to her since then?"
John: "Of course not, Hank doesn't allow it."
Me: "So what makes you think he'll actually give you the money if you've
never talked to anyone who got the money?"
Mary: "Well, he gives you a little bit before you leave. Maybe you'll get a
raise, maybe you'll win a small lotto, maybe you'll just find a twenty dollar
bill on the street."
Me: "What's that got to do with Hank?
John: "Hank has certain 'connections.'"
Me: "I'm sorry, but this sounds like some sort of bizarre con game."
John: "But it's a million dollars, can you really take the chance? And
remember, if you don't kiss Hank's ass he'll kick the sh!t of you."
Me: "Maybe if I could see Hank, talk to him, get the details straight from
him..."
Mary: "No one sees Hank, no one talks to Hank."
Me: "Then how do you kiss his ass?"
John: "Sometimes we just blow him a kiss, and think of his ass. Other times
we kiss Karl's ass, and he passes it on."
Me: "Who's Karl?"
Mary: "A friend of ours. He's the one who taught us all about kissing Hank's
ass. All we had to do was take him out to dinner a few times."
Me: "And you just took his word for it when he said there was a Hank, that
Hank wanted you to kiss his ass, and that Hank would reward you?"
John: "Oh no! Karl's got a letter Hank sent him years ago explaining the
whole thing. Here's a copy; see for yourself."

John handed me a photocopy of a handwritten memo on From the desk of Karl
letterhead. There were eleven items listed:

From the Desk of Karl

1. Kiss Hank's ass and he'll give you a million dollars when you leave town.
2. Use alcohol in moderation.
3. Kick the sh!t out of people who aren't like you.
4. Eat right.
5. Hank dictated this list himself.
6. The moon is made of green cheese.
7. Everything Hank says is right.
8. Wash your hands after going to the bathroom.
9. Don't drink.
10. Eat your wieners on buns, no condiments.
11. Kiss Hank's ass or he'll kick the sh!t out of you.

Me: "This would appear to be written on Karl's letterhead."
Mary: "Hank didn't have any paper."
Me: "I have a hunch that if we checked we'd find this is Karl's handwriting."
John: "Of course, Hank dictated it."
Me: "I thought you said no one gets to see Hank?"
Mary: "Not now, but years ago he would talk to some people."
Me: "I thought you said he was a philanthropist. What sort of philanthropist
kicks the sh!t out of people just because they're different?"
Mary: "It's what Hank wants, and Hank's always right."
Me: "How do you figure that?"
Mary: "Item 7 says 'Everything Hanks says is right.' That's good enough for
me!"
Me: "Maybe your friend Karl just made the whole thing up."
John: "No way! Item 5 says 'Hank dictated this list himself.' Besides, item 2
says 'Use alcohol in moderation,' Item 4 says 'Eat right,' and item 8 says
'Wash your hands after going to the bathroom.' Everyone knows those things
are right, so the rest must be true, too."
Me: "But 9 says 'Don't Drink,' which doesn't quite go with item 2, and 6 says
'The moon is made of green cheese,' which is just plain wrong."
John: "There's no contradiction between 9 and 2, 9 just clarifies 2. As far
as 6 goes, you've never been to the moon, so you can't say for sure."
Me: "Scientists have pretty firmly established that the moon is made of
rock..."
Mary: "But they don't know if the rock came from the Earth, or from out of
space, so it could just as easily be green cheese."
Me: "I'm not really an expert, but not knowing where the rock came from
doesn't make it cheese."
John: "Aha! You just admitted that scientists make mistakes, but we know Hank
is always right!"
Me: "We do?"
Mary: "Of course we do, Item 5 says so."
Me: "You're saying Hank's always right because the list says so, the list is
right because Hank dictated it, and we know that Hank dictated it because the
list says so. That's circular logic, no different than saying 'Hank's right
because he says he's right.'"
John: "Now you're getting it! It's so rewarding to see someone come around to
Hank's way of thinking."
Me: "But...oh, never mind. What's the deal with wieners?"

Mary blushes. John says: "Wieners, in buns, no condiments. It's Hank's way.
Anything else is wrong."
Me: "What if I don't have a bun?"
John: "No bun, no wiener. A wiener without a bun is wrong."
Me: "No relish? No Mustard?"

Mary looks positively stricken. John shouts: "There's no need for such
language! Condiments of any kind are wrong!"
Me: "So a big pile of sauerkraut with some wieners chopped up in it would be
out of the question?"


Mary sticks her fingers in her ears: "I am not listening to this. La la la,
la la, la la la."
John: "That's disgusting. Only some sort of evil deviant would eat that..."
Me: "It's good! I eat it all the time."

Mary faints. John catches her: "Well, if I'd known you where one of those I
wouldn't have wasted my time. When Hank kicks the sh!t out of you I'll be
there, counting my money and laughing. I'll kiss Hank's ass for you, you
bunless cut-wienered kraut-eater."

Trigger351
09-11-2001, 03:27 AM
Well I personly dont think Hank is real:D


100

^YellowBandit^
09-11-2001, 10:54 AM
Did this really happen? If so, Hank sucks big floppy donkey dick.

Mrcoilover
09-11-2001, 11:00 AM
NO if's, and's, or butts about it.

kris
09-11-2001, 11:32 AM
Originally posted by Mrcoilover
NO if's, and's, or butts about it.

How do you really know?

Mrcoilover
09-11-2001, 11:33 AM
Originally posted by kbslacker


How do you really know?
How else did we get life?

MBTN
09-11-2001, 12:38 PM
Evolution, jerky, but now is no time to be talking about this crap, we already discussed it in the philosphy forum.

Mrcoilover
09-11-2001, 12:42 PM
Yeah. WE evolved. But did we just appear on earth? It's ok b/c now u
may not believe in him....but you will when he comes back. ha ha:D

MBTN
09-11-2001, 01:44 PM
Just shut up, you're wrong. You think we popped out of thin air. Then who created God? You can't get something for nothing. BYE!:flipa:

Mrcoilover
09-11-2001, 01:53 PM
very funny. you just don't know. There has got to be something u believe in. Did you think aliens created man, or man created man. Come on now. You think the Bible is full of it. You are just misguided.
You'll understand sooner or later. Just takes time.

:finger:

Racing Rice
09-11-2001, 01:58 PM
Its like this... There is no solid proof to answer this question. All we have are paper writings and what you believe in. If you believe in him then fine, if not then fine too..

So to answer the question it is both true and/or false. Depending on the person answering it.

If you can say prove that there is. I can say prove that there isnt. What will that get you.. nothing but an endless circle of conversation.

Mrcoilover
09-11-2001, 02:06 PM
good point RacingRice . I rather die believing in something. I
believe there is a GOD b/c I am here right now living and breathing. Some great being made everthing. It didn't just appear. MBTN
said that we evolved. hmmm we can't evolve from nothing. I don't have
to prove anything. What Jesus said I believe. He said he is the son of
GOD, and I believe. No other religion has said that their 'Lord' was the son of GOD except Jesus. So everyone can believe what they want and
we will just see what happens at the end of the story then huh.
:)

Racing Rice
09-11-2001, 02:37 PM
I read the philsophy forum to see if MBTN had any hardcore proof.. And not once did I see anything that proved anything other then him sitting there saying.. "Im right and your wrong"...

All I have say is sorry I still dont believe you.

Sleepy
09-11-2001, 03:57 PM
i belive in god but i dont belive in relgion!

Mrcoilover
09-11-2001, 04:00 PM
you believe in some "greater being" or some kind of "creator".:confused:

Sleepy
09-11-2001, 04:03 PM
Originally posted by Mrcoilover
you believe in some "greater being" or some kind of "creator".:confused:
basicaly i belive there is a higher power if you wanna call him god however i dont belive if i dont get baptised i go to hell or all of the other dogma's that go along with religon

MBTN
09-11-2001, 04:04 PM
I will do this once more:
Carbon-dating, dinosaurs, and the ever popular idea of the little thing called evolution. Are you going to dismiss what carbon dating has proved? There are rocks on this planet millions of years old, and it's been proven. And I WILL say it again, you're wrong! :flipa:

Mrcoilover
09-11-2001, 04:12 PM
Originally posted by MBTN
I will do this once more:
Carbon-dating, dinosaurs, and the ever popular idea of the little thing called evolution. Are you going to dismiss what carbon dating has proved? There are rocks on this planet millions of years old, and it's been proven. And I WILL say it again, you're wrong! :flipa:

Any idiots in the house?
(MBTN raises his hand way up in the air.) right here. So where did the
rocks come frome or the planet? Unless you can tell me those things....
you can't say something of absolute almighty "POWER" didn't create them!

Mrcoilover
09-11-2001, 04:20 PM
Originally posted by Sleepy

basicaly i belive there is a higher power if you wanna call him god however i dont belive if i dont get baptised i go to hell or all of the other dogma's that go along with religon

that's alright SLEEPY . You don't have to do all the stuff they tell
you. You just have to believe that Jesus died for us and your soul will
be saved.

MBTN
09-11-2001, 04:26 PM
Oh how silly of me. Obviously you do know everything, so you must be god. I mean, you were around back in the day when everything in the entire universe just appeared when god did all this about 5k years ago. OK, you're right. You win. You are correct. You know everything. You saw it all happen. You win, I lose.
Your score: 1
Mine: 0
You win, you are correct, you know everything.
I lose, you win.

Lots of people died today, I guess god wanted them all to die because he is so good in every way, so he killed all those people for no reason.

You are correct sir, you win!

MBTN
09-11-2001, 04:28 PM
Originally posted by Mrcoilover


Any idiots in the house?
(MBTN raises his hand way up in the air.) right here. So where did the
rocks come frome or the planet? Unless you can tell me those things....
you can't say something of absolute almighty "POWER" didn't create them!

And you can say an almighty power DID create them? YES! You were there when everything was created!! YOU WITNESSED EVERYTHING!

So tell me, who created god? god wasn't just "here", he must have come from somewhere right?

Sleepy
09-11-2001, 04:29 PM
why argue over opions its somethin that can never be proven

Sleepy
09-11-2001, 04:31 PM
i mean state how you feel and let it go people have fought on this topic for hunderds of years its not somthin thats going to get fixed on the forun

MBTN
09-11-2001, 04:34 PM
It was proven, you people need to take the fingers out of your pussies and quit PMSing, READ A FUCKING BOOK BESIDES THE BIBLE, MAYBE YOU WON'T BE SO NEAR SIGHTED AND GET A GLIMPSE OF WHAT ALL THESE OTHER "LOONIES" ARE TALKING ABOUT! All I ask is that you read about evolution, read about the Scope Monkey Trial, read a biology book et cetera! I used to believe in god until I decided "Why not?" and did some research about all the other stuff and realized everything I was taught and brought up to believe is just a lie. :mad:

YogsVR4
09-11-2001, 04:37 PM
Originally posted by MBTN

And you can say an almighty power DID create them? YES! You were there when everything was created!! YOU WITNESSED EVERYTHING!

So tell me, who created god? god wasn't just "here", he must have come from somewhere right?

The arguement for who created god and who kicked off evolution can both be used to invalidate the other.

I've got news for you MBTN - there's evidence that supports the theory of evolution. However, can you identify a single newly formed species, genus, family, phylum, kingdom or order in recorded history? I doubt it since its never been observed - ever.

With all that being said. I do believe in a God. I do not trust religions, they are corrupted because they are run by people. Usually greedy people.

Sleepy
09-11-2001, 04:38 PM
Originally posted by MBTN
It was proven, you people need to take the fingers out of your pussies and quit PMSing, READ A FUCKING BOOK BESIDES THE BIBLE, MAYBE YOU WON'T BE SO NEAR SIGHTED AND GET A GLIMPSE OF WHAT ALL THESE OTHER "LOONIES" ARE TALKING ABOUT! All I ask is that you read about evolution, read about the Scope Monkey Trial, read a biology book et cetera! I used to believe in god until I decided "Why not?" and did some research about all the other stuff and realized everything I was taught and brought up to believe is just a lie. :mad:
dude first off no need to get vulgar ive never read the bible i have read books on evolution i never said i did belive in it i think things can work hand in hand

Sleepy
09-11-2001, 04:40 PM
Originally posted by YogsVR4

With all that being said. I do believe in a God. I do not trust religions, they are corrupted because they are run by people. Usually greedy people.

Very Very True

Mrcoilover
09-11-2001, 04:40 PM
Its all good you bring up good points. So do I . Well never know. But
when we go. I hope I go someplace nice, like in the clouds or something. I would like to see you there too. Just let me off work so I
will holla at yall. Yall be safe and remember. Tomorrow isn't promised.

MBTN
09-11-2001, 06:25 PM
But think about it, could anyone really get into "heaven"? I mean, who's there, Mother Theresa and Jesus? :D You've got to be a goody goody to get into that place! :p If there is a hell, then that's where I'm going. If there is no such thing, then, well, my life would be finished when I die and that's the end of everything for me.

MercCougarXR7
09-11-2001, 07:09 PM
I'll help put this into perspective - make your own choice:

I, believing in God have the belief that there is an after life. Those that truely believe in him go to Heaven. Those who don't go to Hell.

You, believe there is no God, and do NOT have the belief there is an after life. We die, and game over - that's it.

Only one of these situations can be - So, which person do you want to be if one of these situations is wrong? How do you know which one is wrong? You can, if you read up on the Bible. Or, you can stick your head in the sand, say Hank doesn't exist, live your life and die. Then, you'll probably wish you had kissed Hank's ass :).

Heep
09-11-2001, 07:13 PM
This is all I'm going to say...I don't want to get into this again, it went on for about a month a long time ago in the philosphy forum, and that's probably where this thread will go in a few minutes....but....MBTN: "Where did God come from? Who created God?"

I have no idea. Nobody does. So, my question is similar. Where did the little exploding speck or whatever was the first evolution thing come from? Who created it?

kris
09-11-2001, 07:51 PM
Man, you guys all suck. I didnt want this in the philosophy forum. I didnt want this to be a religion discusion. :mad:

MBTN
09-11-2001, 07:51 PM
How many licks DOES it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop!? We may never know!

JD@af
09-26-2001, 09:47 PM
Me being the pompous ass that I am, I am going to open a close thread in order to get my two cents in here.

This argument has occurred in at least two other threads historically in this forum. It has been batted back and forth over and over and over again. That being said, my personal philosophy is that organized religions have gone too far in my opinion in assigning details to "the unknown," details that should not be because we as mere mortals have been too presumptuous in claiming to have knowledge about them. I do believe in what some call "God," but to me it is an intangible force that oversees all, indeed works in mysterious ways, and cannot be characterized as most religions would have us believe. That I believe in. I usually refer to is as "fate," but by my understanding, it does not differ by definition from what others call God.

I won't touch the evolution/creation argument, save to say that I am an "evolutionist," but yet that there are things that cannot be explained, and that I can personally say that by accepting this and believing in it, I feel more at peace with the world. Believing in something like this gives one inner strength, and confidence, because belief gives direction and cause when worldly motivations fail to do so. For this reason, spirituality and religion play an important role that has been lost to so many, sadly. Believing in something, without even knowing what that something is, is a good thing. It has just been mismarketed for so long that many have lost the faith.

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