Things My Mother Taught Me...I think most all can appreciate

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE -
"If you're going kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!"

2. My mother taught me RELIGION -
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL -
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week"

4. My mother ! taught me LOGIC -
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My Mother taught me LOGIC...#2 -
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT -
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY -
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS -
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONS -
"Will you "look" at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA -
"You'll sit there 'till all that spinach is finished."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER -
"It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."

12. My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS -
"If I yelled, because I saw a meteor coming toward you; would you listen THEN?"

13. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY -
"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times-Don't Exaggerate!"

14. My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE -
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

15. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION -
"Stop acting like your father!"

16. My mother taught me about ENVY -
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"

17. My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION -
"Just wait until we get home."

18. My Mother taught me about RECEIVING -
"You are going to get it when we get home!"

19. My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE -
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

20. My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD -
"If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job."

21. My Mother taught me ESP -
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you're cold?"

22. My Mother taught me HUMOR -
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

23. My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT -
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

24. My Mother taught me about GENETICS -
"You're just like your father."

25. My Mother taught me about my ROOTS -
"Do you think you were born in a barn?"

26. My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE -
"When you get to be my age, you will understand."

27. And my all time favorite... JUSTICE -
"One day you'll have kids...and I hope they turn out just like you!"

:D :ylsuper

:hehehe: I swear all mothers must go to the same parenting school to learn this stuff. :p

:silly: All parents say stupid things...just ask my kids`!:silly2: :silly2:

Originally posted by taranaki
:silly: All parents say stupid things...just ask my kids`!:silly2: :silly2:

I am convinced kids are the root of all stupidity in parents ;)

Originally posted by Spec2 Girl
:hehehe: I swear all mothers must go to the same parenting school to learn this stuff. :p


must do i'm sure my mum went there too :hehe:

My mother has taught me about the science of OSMOSIS - "Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

Just so you know.... Osmosis is when water diffuses (changes gradients from a higher to a lower concentration of matter) through a semi-permeable membrane. What you said was not osmosis, it is Dialysis. Now, if she had said "Shut your mouth and drink your water!" that would have been osmosis.

Originally posted by DaFoo


Just so you know.... Osmosis is when water diffuses (changes gradients from a higher to a lower concentration of matter) through a semi-permeable membrane. What you said was not osmosis, it is Dialysis. Now, if she had said "Shut your mouth and drink your water!" that would have been osmosis.

Henceforth you will be known as "GEEK" for being anal retentive enough to critique a joke. :finger:

heh heh big word didnt quite understand everythin yogs said but i understodd the basics........heh heh

:D

Hey Yogs, I'm not a geek. I only know that because I took 57 credit hours of Biology in college.

Originally posted by DaFoo
Hey Yogs, I'm not a geek. I only know that because I took 57 credit hours of Biology in college.

u-huh

hehe