Joke Time!!!
ned032002
02-23-2007, 05:22 PM
Best Round Of Golf
A man was at the country club for his weekly round of golf. He began his round with an eagle on the first hole and a birdie on the second. On the third hole he had just scored his first ever hole-in-one when his cell phone rang.
It was a doctor notifying him that his wife had just been in a Terrible accident and was in critical condition and in the ICU.
The man told the doctor to inform his wife where he was and that the he'd be there as soon as possible. As he hung up he realized he was leaving what was shaping up to be his best ever round of golf. He decided to get in a couple of more holes before heading to the hospital. He ended up playing all eighteen, finishing his round shooting a personal best 61, shattering the club record by five strokes and beating his previous best game by more than 10. He was jubilant.... Then he remembered his wife.
Feeling guilty he dashed to the hospital. He saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about his wife's condition.
The doctor glared at him and shouted, "You went ahead and finished Your round of golf didn't you!
"I hope you're proud of yourself! While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself at the country club your wife has been languishing in the ICU! It's just as well you went ahead and finished that round because it will be more than likely your last!" "For the rest of her life she will require 'round the clock care. And you'll be her care giver!"
The man was feeling so guilty he broke down and sobbed The doctor snickered and said, "Just Fucking with you. She's dead. What'd you shoot?"
A man was at the country club for his weekly round of golf. He began his round with an eagle on the first hole and a birdie on the second. On the third hole he had just scored his first ever hole-in-one when his cell phone rang.
It was a doctor notifying him that his wife had just been in a Terrible accident and was in critical condition and in the ICU.
The man told the doctor to inform his wife where he was and that the he'd be there as soon as possible. As he hung up he realized he was leaving what was shaping up to be his best ever round of golf. He decided to get in a couple of more holes before heading to the hospital. He ended up playing all eighteen, finishing his round shooting a personal best 61, shattering the club record by five strokes and beating his previous best game by more than 10. He was jubilant.... Then he remembered his wife.
Feeling guilty he dashed to the hospital. He saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about his wife's condition.
The doctor glared at him and shouted, "You went ahead and finished Your round of golf didn't you!
"I hope you're proud of yourself! While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself at the country club your wife has been languishing in the ICU! It's just as well you went ahead and finished that round because it will be more than likely your last!" "For the rest of her life she will require 'round the clock care. And you'll be her care giver!"
The man was feeling so guilty he broke down and sobbed The doctor snickered and said, "Just Fucking with you. She's dead. What'd you shoot?"
Thor06
02-23-2007, 05:29 PM
Wow..... I dont think thats funny at all.
Blackcrow64
02-23-2007, 09:07 PM
Uh... Wow...
EDMUND65
02-23-2007, 09:28 PM
Ned are you a serial killer?
NOFX0617
02-24-2007, 04:17 PM
Damn.....I guess I am the only one that found that funny....
david-b
02-24-2007, 05:37 PM
It was ok... I've had better (that's what she said)
Damn, it's raining cats and dogs here, and I just stepped in a poodle.
Damn, it's raining cats and dogs here, and I just stepped in a poodle.
blk_srt
02-25-2007, 03:03 PM
I got a little chuckle out of that
ned032002
02-25-2007, 07:08 PM
I deff. laughed at that one
gstclips
02-25-2007, 11:11 PM
I figured i'd add to the pile :-)...
A middle aged man arives home after an exhausting day at work, when he walks in the front door he is suprised to see his girlfriend walking down the stairs with her suitcase. He yells "where do you think you are going!?!". She replies quickly, "you are a dirty pediphile, I'm leaving you!!"
He looks at her with a smile and says "thats a damn big word for a thirteen year old."
A middle aged man arives home after an exhausting day at work, when he walks in the front door he is suprised to see his girlfriend walking down the stairs with her suitcase. He yells "where do you think you are going!?!". She replies quickly, "you are a dirty pediphile, I'm leaving you!!"
He looks at her with a smile and says "thats a damn big word for a thirteen year old."
NOFX0617
02-26-2007, 02:47 AM
Thats ones bad.... lol
I got one too that I was reminded of when I read the first one. 2 guys are talking and the first guy asks the other if he has ever been thinking about something while they were talking to someone and they accidently said what they were thinking instead of what they really wanted to say. The second guy asks him what do you mean, and the first guy says well this one time I was trying to buy some plane tickets to Pittsburg but when he got to the counter the girl working there had huge boobs and instead of asking for 2 tickets to Pittsburg he asked for two pickets to Tittsburg. So the second guy said oh yeah I have do that all the time "The other day I was having breakfast with my wife and I meant to tell her to pass the syrup but instead i said........
YOU ARE RUINING MY FUCKING LIFE BITCH!!!
I got one too that I was reminded of when I read the first one. 2 guys are talking and the first guy asks the other if he has ever been thinking about something while they were talking to someone and they accidently said what they were thinking instead of what they really wanted to say. The second guy asks him what do you mean, and the first guy says well this one time I was trying to buy some plane tickets to Pittsburg but when he got to the counter the girl working there had huge boobs and instead of asking for 2 tickets to Pittsburg he asked for two pickets to Tittsburg. So the second guy said oh yeah I have do that all the time "The other day I was having breakfast with my wife and I meant to tell her to pass the syrup but instead i said........
YOU ARE RUINING MY FUCKING LIFE BITCH!!!
david-b
02-26-2007, 12:44 PM
HAHA. I like that one.
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