Ex Stuff...

Well, I still kinda like my ex, we went out for about 6 months but had to break off for something or another, I never really got a good solid reason, but now she will randomly call me, or send me txtmessages and it's been like 2-3 months....I can't help but to respond, I mean I still like her and all, what should I do though, keep playing it cool and giving her the space she 'wanted', or just ignore her altogether...I wouldn't mind getting back together, I mean, she's a really nice girl and we had a lot of fun together...movies(chick flicks *sigh*), the park, bowling, walking around the lake, sitting under the stars...all activities we enjoyed together...It doesn't really bug me to see her around hanging out with other guys, the first few weeks it did, but now it's nonexistant.

is she still single?

go talk to her, ask if the texting and calls means something. if she still likes you and you still like her talk to her about it. if you both want to rekindle it, give it a shot.

She's still single, but there's something that tells me to give her space if I ever want to go with her again, but then again, something tells me to take your advice and talk to her about it...I dunno though, there always seems to be something going on where I can't talk to her in person...

I'd just ignore her and tell her to f-off.

Sorry, I'm just bitter. I'm am/was in a similar situation, but my ex cheated on me (unconfirmed), broke up with me, lied about why she broke up with me, then 2 weeks later, got together with the guy she was accused of cheating on my with. But she told me multiple times that she wanted me back WHILE she was still with this other guy. Now they broke up and she's single and wants to talk to me again. Sorry, so that's why I'm bitter. Just give a girl ONE chance, and if it doesn't work, move on and don't look back.

i believe in the one chance rule too, but theres nothing wrong with talking/sleeping with your ex with no relationship behind it. its kinda a confort thing for both people.....

Just talk to her about it. If you still like her and she is still single, go for it man. Just play it cool, ask if she would like to go out or something..maybe coffee....and just talk. Or, you can take poormillionares advice and tell her to f-off..lol...but thats not really recommended...

-Chris

I agree with poormillionaire and ghost, if everything was so great then why would she "need space"? Something had to have happened that you're not aware of, otherwise if the relationship was so great, she wouldn't have made such a bullshit excuse, more importantly she would've gave you a straight answer. If I was in your position, I'd move on.


Oh and poormillionare, dude I've been there. I swear to god I had the perfect relationship, it was just like a movie. But like every movie, there had to be a plot twist, so she cheated on me twice with her abusive ex. When I busted her ass about that, she cut it off with him supposedly and I told her to go fuck a tree. Then after a while I forgave her again, only this time she's "taking a break away from guys" and that when she's ready to date again, she'd still have feelings for me. Then I find out on fucking Christmas Day that she was up to 5am the night before talking to some other guy. I haven't talked to her since. My point is, if everything was amazing, then why would she bail out? So I'm very anal about giving 2nd chances, especially when there was nothing wrong in the first place. Woman dog guys all the time about how fucked up we are (with good reason sometimes), but woman are the sneakiest motherfuckers on earth and they're not afraid to admit it. I say just move on and find a girl who thinks you're too good to pass up on.

we get a bad rep cause we get caught.......

"Go fuck a tree". That's priceless. I'll have to use that one sometime.

Women are much more manipulative, in general, than men. Just an opinion, so nobody should get their panties in a bunch. But getting burned like that can make it very hard to put that much trust and faith into someone again. Its hard to watch someone you care about learn the hard way about what a great person you really are.

And Xeven, your completely right about women being sneeky. I was warned by a couple of people about her, but we were friends for awhile and didn't see it. And I still don't, but I don't think (most) guys have the perception on stuff like that. It was all women who told me. Its crazy. Women are the biggest unsolved mystery...and the biggest cause of stress and murder too.

I agree with poormillionaire and ghost, if everything was so great then why would she "need space"?

I'm going to try to shed some light on this from personal experience.

My ex and I dated for 3 years straight, everything was great. Then we broke up. No exact reason except that she wanted space to just experience the world. I was pissed to say the least. She and I didnt talk for awhile, then she tried to contact me and I avoided her.

It has been a few years, and we just started talking again over Christmas break. Funny thing is, we'll probably get back together. I go by the one chance rule, but this was an exception as she didnt do anything to intentionally hurt me.

Some background on the story, when we dated we thought we would get married. We split, and she still had that idea in her mind. She always said "Mike was the best I've had", "Mike and I are going to get married", and this was years after we split. I heard all this through our parents as our parents are good friends.

So what I'm saying is that every rule has their exceptions.

I agree with Mike. It definately depends on the situation. Communication is key. If you don't ask her if it means anything (texting etc) than how will you know?

But that's stupid. Shouldn't breaking up for no reason be a red flag? There has to be a reason to disrupt the status quo. If not, then it should have been business as usual. And if there is an exception to every rule, then there would be no rules.

But I'm one of those people who doesn't believe in 'soul mates' or the philosophy that '2 people are meant to be together', or destiny, or fate. Out of the 6.5 billion people on the planet, I don't think the chance of someone finding that one 'special' personin their own community is really probable. Everything takes work. So, I say, if one doesn't work, move on. Plenty more fish in the sea, too many to get screwed over by just one.

But that's stupid. Shouldn't breaking up for no reason be a red flag?

For us it was more like we just wanted to make sure we were the right people for each other. So we decided to explore our lives and ourselves. We were still young, we didnt need to be tied down so early. Its not like she did anything backstabbing, or hurt me by any intention or knowingly. Thats why I have no problem getting back together with her.

I dont believe in soul mates so much, but I do believe in the perfect match. With that, I believe are more than one perfect match person out there. Looking through all of my ex's she seemed to be the best match at the time, so maybe its worth a revisit to see?

relationships are built on if you could deal with living with someone elses bullshit for the rest of your life.......haha

relationships are built on if you could deal with living with someone elses bullshit for the rest of your life.......haha

Nicely put.
If you think about it, THAT IS the bottom line of a relationship. Couldn't put it any better.

And I think there are people better suited for each other than others, but I don't believe in 'soul mates' or 'perfect matches'. But if you think she's worth it, then go for it. With my situation, no so much. Women give me a headache. :banghead:

Well I can see what you mean in your situation Mike, I would've done the samething personally since like you said, she never did anything to betray you. Thats gotta be an extremely rare case though because what I've seen my own experiences and other's, "I need space" usually revolves around the fact that they're trying to say either: I don't like you anymore and I'm done wasting my time, OR I've found another guy and I want to the transition to go with as little confrontation as possible.

I kinda think there's such a thing as soul mate, not to the extent where they're your missing part, but where its to the point that chemistry is extremely strong. If I found the right girl, I definitely wouldn't mind with putting up with bullshit, granted it didn't turn into some insane Jerry Springer shit.


Hizzah for being single on V-Day and saving money!!!!!

Hizzah for being single on V-Day and saving money!!!!!

Damn right! Holidays are over-rated anyways.

just another day in my book....

I enjoyed it because it was my first day off from work in a long while.

So I talk to her tonight, totally unexpected she calls while I'm walking out of the gym, so, we get on this long talk about how apparently I've been a total jerk since we broke up and then I mention that she has been a raging terror for even being sociable to me in person, texting is fine, blah this blah that, she wants to be "friends"...Dammit I'm dumb, but I still like the girl--the "Fuck off" did come to mind, but I didn't have the heart to say it-chicks are manipulative! Oh well, back to square 1 I guess, I just keep getting closer to that point of telling her to go play 'hide and go screw herself'.

Fuck that 'friends' bullshit. Girls are just like that. Just leave her at the curb and move on. She's not worth the time or headache. She just wanted to lead you on for a bit, now she's bored and wants something else. And yeah, chicks are manipulative. Just tell her to go and fuck a tree and be done with it.

Ex-girlfriends can drive a guy absolutely nuts. She will be able to bait you, irrationally call/text at her whim - trust me if you thought they were a psycotic manipulative be-atch when you were together... then it's going to be worse when she uses you as a fire hydrant to piss on now that you aren't an item.

Look they have nothing to lose, see you as someone they can dump on when they are down, know which levers to pull and you have absolutely going to get nothing out of it of all.

If you engage in communicating with her, you think she's going to be as patient and understanding... 'The Friends' thing is an excuse to have you on a string... worse still if she latches onto everyone of your friends for company... happened to my best friend and the ex is desperately hanging around like last night's curry s she doesn't have any friends of her own... she's everywhere where my best friend turns... had a few deep and meaningful conversations about it and basically told him he could do better than her and meet someone else...

I know most ex's expect you ito respond immediately - but if you respond they will respond when and if it suits them - it's an evil game you can't win... trust me I've too many mates driven to despair about it to mention.

Sounds callous but best thing I do with ex-gf's is to stay completely out of contact for at least a year... and with a couple of them I've ever had anything to do with them again. Sometimes you can be polite acquaintances but you ain't going to be close friends - it don't work that way...

^^^Amen to that.

I agree with jus backing off for a while. I haven't talked to my ex since Xmas because she pissed me off so bad, but I just talked to her yesterday and time definitely helps to heal. Its now easier to be just friends with her, but rather then it being her choice, its mine.