drunk girls

so i'm still a bit drunk from last night so bare with me

fuck man, why do girls have to be so weird when they're fucking drunk. there's this girl i've recently gotten interested in, she's hot but i only recently started getting attracted to her in a more than physical way. anyways she was so into me it wasn't even funny, but we were at a party last night and she was waaay different than she usually is, i mean she was being pretty fucked up and wasn't really paying me any attention. i wasn't even hanging around her much because i didn't want to look desperate or anything, she's already got one guy, a friend of ours, who likes her alot but won't make a move so he was just hanging around her.

anyways, last night shook my confidence alot because of how she acted drunk, and it's really pissing me off, not to mention i wanted to get into a fight with this one guy that i've wanted to fight for a long time but i couldn't. so my night was pretty fucking shitty.

Why did you avoid her if you wanted to go home with her? Stupid.

i wasn't avoiding her, i just wasn't hanging around her constantly. but the main reason is that i was just weirded out, i mean i've been around her when we were both drunk but she was just fucking weird last night. i dunno, i'll see what happens, probably ask her out this week or something, depends on how i feel.

i think i might be depressed though, i've been depressed before, 6 years ago, and i think i'm dealing with it again. it sucks because my life is better now than it has been in the past, i've got more friends than before, i'm more social, i feel better about my body, i'm more physically active, and i'm able to be myself. i don't see why the hell i'd be depressed but i just can't be happy lately, sure i might get some joy out of stuff but overall i'm not happy.

in the last 5 years there are only 3 things that have made me genuinely happy, one of them is rowing, the other two are two girls that i like. if i don't spend time around either of those girls or i'm not rowing (which i'm not because it's fucking winter) i'm not happy.

i dunno, i just need to figure some shit out, there's got to be something wrong if you've got a great life, great career ahead of you, and great friends and you feel like shit.

Depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain - go and see a professional.

And a tip about girls: you have to ask them out. They will not ask you. The worst thing they can say is No. The more you hear No the less you care about it. So balls up and ask her out on a date, but make sure you've got something special in mind first. DO NOT ASK HER WHERE SHE WANTS TO GO, if she says yes, tell her where you want to go.

All girls act 180 degrees differently when drunk. They get very bizarre. Guys only have two drunk modes, happy or pissed.

haha amen to that, perfect example would be last night, i was pretty happy the entire night then this guy that i don't much care for started talking shit and just being a dick, complete turnaround, i was completely happy, then i just got extremely pissed and tried to fight him. i would have beaten the crap out of him but i wanted to take it outside so we didn't mess up the guy's house (people had already put holes in the walls and stuff). i'm usually pretty happy but this guy just pisses me off.

as for the depression, my parents are in cuba this week so nobody's home except me so i'll see if i can fix it myself. i'm just going to go to the gym and do alot of weights and cardio. it won't fix me but at least the dopamine high from intense cardio will help offset it enough to get me through the week. i've got a midterm, three other tests, and a quiz this week, yeah i'm getting completely trashed on friday.

well, i think you have to get more confidence in yourself before trying to hook up with these girls. they thrive on challenges...

the thing is that i had plenty of confidence in myself, it's just that these last few days i've felt like shit.

well, any sign of insecurity and they will run. ive learned that over the years. you have to be confident, but not too cocky. be sure of yourself, and is she doesnt notice you, or declines you, dont take it to heart. just believe that shes not good enough to be with you. move on tho the next one. ive also noticed a girls bestfriend is the yellowbrick road to the girl in interest.....