this pisses me off

Ok so A few weeks ago i was raped. no big deal, dont go getting all freaked out on me, i've come to the conclusion that it was my fault. so last night i'm having this HUGE HUGE arugment with one of the guys i live with on how i always put shit on myself. i do put shit on my self all the time but why the hell do i do it? i mean EVERYTHING. When my car doesnt work...its my fault...hell i didnt touch the engine i know how to drive/race why doesnt this shit work. or the other day so i work with this hottie right and we have mutual friends so we see each other outside of work but i dont know his last name i think hes interested in me but im to scared to ask. all my guy friends are like just ask him what his last name is. hell i'm sure he wants to go out with you and i'll go out with you if he doesnt want to. but what i dotn fucking get is why the hell i cant just go talk to him. i mean i can talk to him about other stuff soccer,surfing, racing, or ppl what ever ya know but i cant just say wanna hang out some time or something? what the fuck is wrong with me? why cant i just fucking ask him if he wants to go out. why do i put stuff on my self? someone told me that its just because i have to much stress and i just dont want to deal with it but this is fucking bull becusae i am tired of this fucking bull shit.
**most of that doesnt make any kind of logistical sense but i had to say it sorry**

Originally posted by SeXy_AnGeL
Ok so A few weeks ago i was raped. no big deal, i've come to the conclusion that it was my fault.
**most of that doesnt make any kind of logistical sense but i had to say it sorry**

don't apologise for wanting to tell someone about it.Just to reassure you,there is no possible situation that a girl could get into where she is to blame for being raped.Someone has committed a crime against you,and a serious one at that.It's not your fault,never was and never will be.
As to putting the blame on yourself,we all do it occasionally.Biut to blame yourself for being raped is a mistake.Regardless of any other factors,no means no.Doesn't matter how far you have encouraged a guy,or how long you've known him,or whether you have consented to him on previous occasions,IF YOU SAID NO AND HE CONTINUED WITHOUT YOUR CONSENT IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT.

You have my sympathies.Creeps like that should be castrated.

no need to apologise, thats why it's called stress release.

I used to get pissed off at everything too, and blame a lot of it on myself. I'm still quite hard on myself in some ways.

But I've mellowed out heaps. I just try not to get stressed out because it wasn't doing me any good. Just sort of look at it in a way that, if something goes wrong, don't throw the blame somewhere, just figure out what you can do to correct it.

I have no idea wether this makes any sense to what you said but it's my 10cents worth(2cents adjusted for inflation).

thanks guys. but its just my fault. i mean really yea i said no and i didnt entice him at all. he was an x and i mean hes tried it before hell he kidnapped me but i should have just done something before he raped me. before he tied me to the bed. it was my fault. thanks guys but this just couldntbe changed. its my fault that i was raped.

I dont believe it was, if you truly believe so I wont argue with you

With the guy you want to talk to, get a friend to talk to him, and suguest all 3 of you hang out, and have the friend work you into the convo more and more untill you ask him out

Just what I think

girl imma tell you this....STOP BLAMING YOUR DAMN SELF FOR EVERYTHING...and don't fall back on that excuse... that he was your ex....so? come on now girl that's not right.....you need to get up and be strong..low self esteem didn't get anybody everywhere, and if you keep on being hard on yourself like this, God forbid it, but you'll crack...no need for that....the only thing that you can do is pick up the pieces and try again...negativity gets to us all, it gets to me even, but YOU are the only one who can make something out of it and actually progress throughout life. like Coach Branch always says to my football team "You must act like you've been there. If you've made mistakes,oh well. That's in the past. You must pick yourself up and get ready for another play. You must not get down on yourself, for then you will lose the battle."

my $.02

I'm going to reiterate what was said on the other posts, just to help clarify :) You're never at fault when you're the victim, especially if it's rape. The coward who did it is at fault, if I lived anywhere near you, I'd beat the crap out of that guy, just so you know. Any guy that does something like that is nothing but a pathetic little boy, because he certainly isn't a man, a real man knows how to show respect to a girl. This happened to a friend of mine once and she said the same thing, I was seriously intent on putting the guy in the hospital but for some stupid reason I listened to her when she told me not to...Oh well, just know that no matter what you go through, you're loved.

Thanks guys I appreciate it. I'm not the best with words right now because after what happened i got really reallydepressed and they have me on stuff but just for a bit til i can convince them that I wont hurt myself. But thank you for all your encouragement.

Wow, I'd almost swear you just told my story from May, SeXy_AnGeL...

I still blame myself, and no one will ever convince me otherwise. I knew the situation I was entering at the time, and I still chose to go over to his house. I have talked with the guy and if he didn't know then that I didn't want to, he knows now. I haven't talked to him but once since then, and I can't say I want to.

I know I'm at fault for most of my life, both good and bad.

Its not your fault tangie. See the difference in our situation was that he took me against my will. He kidnapped me from my house and we drove for 12 straight hours to a house in the poconos. 3 days he had me there. I did not go willingly, not at all. I just found out today that hes out on bail $300,000. How could this be? he kidnapps me, beats me, ties me to a bed and rapes me all while getting me pregnant and he can be off on bail? why does bad shit always happen to me?

Originally posted by SeXy_AnGeL
I just found out today that hes out on bail $300,000. How could this be?

Where's he at??? I'll beat him myself. Then he can share the Hell that another man I know deserves...

Ouch, another one for philosophy. Don't lose faith, either of you. Rape is one of the most degrading, horrible crimes that shows some of the worst examples of humanity. Just don't give up on all guys...some of us are nothing like that and woudn't even contemplate doing crap like that. Good luck with your future and sorting it out. Oh, and it's NOT YOUR FAULT! Oz.

I'm with OzRice on that one.


A few years ago I was at a party and while I was doing what boys do after drinking beer in the backyard I heard someone screaming. It was
fairly evident to me that someone wasn't very happy.

So I wondered down the backyard to see a guy manhandling a female
acquaintance of mine. Sally was pretty wasted but the look she shot
me was pretty clear - she DID NOT want to be here! The look I got from
the bloke as well as the verbal message was that I wasn't welcome.

Nevertheless, I walked down to them and asked Sally if she was alright.
She told me she wanted to find her friend and I asked her if she'd had
enough for the night and it was pretty easy to see she had. So I picked
Sally up off the ground and walked her back to the house. The guy
really wasn't pleased about this but I made it pretty clear that Sally was
going and I wasn't going to stopped. I carried Sally back to the House, found her friend, put them in my car and took them home.

When I returned this guy came up to me and asked me why I interfered.
I told him the lady wanted to go home, I knew her and as far as I was
concerned when she asked me that put her under my care and protection.

He then told me that I should have 'minded my own business and that
she had wanted it.'

Now I'm not a violent person. I haven't thrown a punch in anger since
high school even though I train with a heavy bag and 14 ounce gloves
most weeks. I'm not a big guy either but that particular bloke found
himself being dragged up the long unsealed driveway by one of his ankles and it was suggested if I saw his face again in the next 100
years it would be too soon.

It's a terrible crime and a violation of decency and basic human rights.

And I don't apologise for what's happened but please don't judge the
rest of us by the actions of a tiny minority of men. There a lot of us
who can only begin to understand your pain and misery but have our
compassion and the hope that time and the help of others can help you
heal your wounds.