Instant Messaging

Okay... how many of you believe flirting through instant messaging is flirting at all? You can't read body language nor can you read their tone of voice... just the goofy emoticons that randomly appear. It may sound like flirting but how can you be sure that you're not misinterpreting the message? It is, after all, only text.

What do you all think?

I'm kinda in the same situation. This girl I'm tryin to date is never talkative when I text or send her messages on myspace. But when I call her, she talks my head off.

You can definitely flirt with IM'ing, but there's only so far you can go ya know?

It's just a tool (like the phone, etc) and while it can be used to build attraction, it's no substitute for face-to-face interaction.

I agree with what Jay said. I've definitely noticed flirting through IM, but it has to be confirmed by face-to-face.

The those all valid points. The reason I ask is that she's super talkative on YIM and is just as talkative on the phone but unfortunately, we rarely talk on the phone. Not that I mind. Its just that whenever I talk to her, I love hearing her laugh. A genuine laugh and not one of those, hehe, laughs. However, on YIM, she uses alot of those emoticons and I just don't know what to make of them. Like the one with the squinty eye that raises a brow... what does that mean? What emotion does that convey? That's why I get confused too. Nothing beats the gleam in her eye when she smiles and the casual touch from her when she flirts and cuddles up with me. I haven't seen her in a few weeks and YIM severely lacks as a substitute.

get a web cam! well, i think the one with the squinty eyes is a seductive icon, like this:naughty:

I think you're beginning to read too much into it.

Don't worry about it, if she's really talkative towards you, wether it be on YIM, the phone, or in person, you're in a good spot.

Unlike me, where this girl just ignored me for a week, when we had plans to get together this weekend. Not to mention we had this planned in advance of a month.

But whatever, I'm goin to the Air Force soon, I'm gonna find me some hot fighter pilot bitches.

Nothing beats the gleam in her eye when she smiles and the casual touch from her when she flirts and cuddles up with me.
Duh!
I haven't seen her in a few weeks and YIM severely lacks as a substitute.
How come? Make it happen.

Also, available to yap all day/night on IM = you don't have anything better to do = you're her private entertainer, not a potential suitor.

Don't spend all your time alone, with your computer, when you could be out in real life with real people.

:2cents:

She lives a tad over an hour away. We both have office jobs which make getting together tough as time constraints limit when we can see each other. She typically YIM's me when she gets home and we'll chat off and on throughout the night- even to say goodnight.

One thing to note is that we just got past a rough patch so I don't want to pressure her nor seem needy either. She's not the type to waste her time on a guy she's not into. I've seen her blow off so many guys on so many different occassions so I've a little confidence in myself there.

Never know till you try.

it's definitly not a substitute for face-to-face, not even for the phone, but it is something. it can be good or bad because i've found alot of people are different on IM than in RL (real life), there's that extra barrier of safety where you're more confident online and you have time to think up a response and word it properly. although i've hooked up as a result of a conversation on MSN, i wouldn't suggest using it as your main source of communication for any kind of real relationship.

i think this is one of the biggest problems with technology today. it is taking away the personal factor and face-to-face conversations. Look at Britney and K-fed, if the media is true, that she ended it over a text. Give me a break. as far as flirting on IM and such, it's a nice way to get to know a girl with out having to be in awkward situation. If you if turns out you two don't have a lot in common then it's easy to say you have to go do something else, but if you two are on a first date you can't just up and leave. Well you can but you look like a dick then.

But whatever, I'm goin to the Air Force soon, I'm gonna find me some hot fighter pilot bitches.

HAHAHAHA! Goodluck. Military women = ugly. The ones that arent = sluts. You don't believe me now, young grasshopper, but you will learn if you do not heed my advice.

Damn.

I'm not a fan of the idea of bsing a relationship, even the start of one, if that is your intention, on something like an instant messageing program. The biggest problem I have with it is that it is on one level impersonal, is always missing a sense of reality and purely one dimensionel. You cannot tell the tone in voice, any body language signals or even what she is doing. For all you know, she is there flirting with you while her boyfriend looks on feeding her ice-cream and strawberries and both are laughing at this little bit of entertainment.
I think the very least in terms of communication you should be using with these kind of things is a simple phone call;100% better than IM.
Why don't you call her more? Or are you expecting her to call you?

Also, being an hour away is just an excuse.
If you meet halfway, that's only half an hour for both parties.
If you're making excuses, then that says that you want something to be there and hence; you're reading too much into it because you want something to be there.

The short and polite version of my advice:
if you want to know, go ask.

The equally short but not so polite version of the same advice:
Go grow some balls and ask her.



and don't go emo on us please.