Funny story my friend just send me
Killa
12-19-2006, 10:55 PM
There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.
Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."
"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."
"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."
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A husband and wife go to a counselor after 35 years of marriage.
The counselor asks them what the problem is and the wife goes into a tirade listing every problem they have ever had in the 35 years they've been married.
She goes on and on and on.
Finally, the counselor gets up, walks around the desk, embraces the wife and kisses her passionately.
The woman shuts up and sits quietly in a daze.
The counselor then turns to the husband and says,
"This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?"
The husband thinks for a moment and replies,
"Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on all other days, I golf."
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A man is having problems with his Johnson which certainly had seen better times. He consults a doctor who, after a couple of tests, says, "Sorry, but you've overdone it the last 30 years. Your Johnson is burned out; you only have 30 erections left in your Johnson."
The man walks home deeply depressed; his wife who is already expecting him at the front door asks him what the doctor said concerning his problem. He tells her what the doc told him. She says, "Oh no, only 30 times! We shouldn't waste that. We should make a list!"
He replies, "Yes, I already made a list on the way home. Sorry, your name isn't on it."
---------------------------------------------------
A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker told the husband, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land, for $150."
The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home.
The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your wife home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here in the Holy Land and would only cost you $150?"
The man replied, "Well, 2006 years ago a man died here, was buried here, and later he rose from the dead. I just cant take that chance with her."
Enjoy:)
Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."
"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."
"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."
----------------------------------------------------------
A husband and wife go to a counselor after 35 years of marriage.
The counselor asks them what the problem is and the wife goes into a tirade listing every problem they have ever had in the 35 years they've been married.
She goes on and on and on.
Finally, the counselor gets up, walks around the desk, embraces the wife and kisses her passionately.
The woman shuts up and sits quietly in a daze.
The counselor then turns to the husband and says,
"This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?"
The husband thinks for a moment and replies,
"Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on all other days, I golf."
----------------------------------
A man is having problems with his Johnson which certainly had seen better times. He consults a doctor who, after a couple of tests, says, "Sorry, but you've overdone it the last 30 years. Your Johnson is burned out; you only have 30 erections left in your Johnson."
The man walks home deeply depressed; his wife who is already expecting him at the front door asks him what the doctor said concerning his problem. He tells her what the doc told him. She says, "Oh no, only 30 times! We shouldn't waste that. We should make a list!"
He replies, "Yes, I already made a list on the way home. Sorry, your name isn't on it."
---------------------------------------------------
A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker told the husband, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land, for $150."
The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home.
The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your wife home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here in the Holy Land and would only cost you $150?"
The man replied, "Well, 2006 years ago a man died here, was buried here, and later he rose from the dead. I just cant take that chance with her."
Enjoy:)
4g63gst20
12-19-2006, 11:23 PM
There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.
Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."
"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."
"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."
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i liked this one. lol
Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."
"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."
"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."
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i liked this one. lol
Killa
12-19-2006, 11:43 PM
i liked this one. lol
:grinyes:
:grinyes:
EDMUND65
12-20-2006, 12:03 AM
we should have a jokes/funny pictures subforum...
gthompson97
12-20-2006, 12:23 AM
Those are pretty good killer, props!
Blackcrow64
12-20-2006, 12:38 AM
Those were a pretty good laugh...
L-Spec
12-20-2006, 12:43 AM
Haha, right on.
Mikelb
12-20-2006, 01:00 PM
I chuckled...
ned032002
12-20-2006, 07:57 PM
The first one was pretty funny lol.
blk_srt
12-20-2006, 09:30 PM
Those are pretty good ones.
Try telling a co-worker this one:
"Hey, I have a story to tell you." "So last night I was over at some guys house sucking his dick when he started running his fingers through his hair and I stopped and said 'what are you some kind of homo'" haha. My buddy told me that one and the looks you get are well worth it.
Try telling a co-worker this one:
"Hey, I have a story to tell you." "So last night I was over at some guys house sucking his dick when he started running his fingers through his hair and I stopped and said 'what are you some kind of homo'" haha. My buddy told me that one and the looks you get are well worth it.
Mikelb
12-21-2006, 08:55 AM
Those are pretty good ones.
Try telling a co-worker this one:
"Hey, I have a story to tell you." "So last night I was over at some guys house sucking his dick when he started running his fingers through his hair and I stopped and said 'what are you some kind of homo'" haha. My buddy told me that one and the looks you get are well worth it.
WTF... I expected that much from Ned, but you... WTF
(j/k Ned, no offense... see you at my house 8:30 ;))
Try telling a co-worker this one:
"Hey, I have a story to tell you." "So last night I was over at some guys house sucking his dick when he started running his fingers through his hair and I stopped and said 'what are you some kind of homo'" haha. My buddy told me that one and the looks you get are well worth it.
WTF... I expected that much from Ned, but you... WTF
(j/k Ned, no offense... see you at my house 8:30 ;))
blk_srt
12-21-2006, 11:46 AM
haha, believe me, normally I'm the last person to tell that kind of a joke but that one just struk me as funny
Mikelb
12-21-2006, 01:01 PM
haha, believe me, normally I'm the last person to tell that kind of a joke but that one just struk me as funny
I guess it was one of those "you had to be there" jokes... (no pun intended:uhoh: )
I guess it was one of those "you had to be there" jokes... (no pun intended:uhoh: )
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