Lost my BFF
flip888
10-22-2006, 04:41 AM
Up until i got the job i have now i use to have a lot of good friends, but i stopped hanging out with all of them accept for 1 (my best friend) since i work 6 days a week now and have no free time anymore. The one i still hangout with though ive known ever since i can remember and we use to be, like extremely best friends. shes definitely closer than any of my other friends ever were, and ive had some pretty good friends. Were basically like brother and sister.
But a few weeks ago she got a new job and a bunch of new friends that she works with (we're both only 19 and theyre all 22-25 which pisses me off, and none of them seem to have cars..) and she has been hanging out with me less and less. And it seems like she only hangs out with me if she wants me to do something for her, like drive her somewhere or pick up her new friends and bring them all somewhere, stuff like that. And all her friends try to treat me like shit and she doesnt say anything about it. I didnt really think much of it at first how she didnt invite me to stay with them but now i realize she pretty much likes her new friends better or something. its cool with me tho, shes happier and stuff.
The only bad thing is that its hella depressing. I feel like ive lost my best friend who ive known prettymuch all my life. I cant talk to her about it, that would only mess stuff up more. i know her and i think this is more of a permanent change.
Normally i would just hangout with my old friends but i dont really know them anymore and its awkward being around them since theyve got theyre own stuff going on now that im not a part of. I also started hanging out with my girlfriend a lot more but now shes starting to really piss me off in a serious kind of way, and its not the same.
Well i dont know why im writing all this stuff, just wanted to tell someone i guess.
But a few weeks ago she got a new job and a bunch of new friends that she works with (we're both only 19 and theyre all 22-25 which pisses me off, and none of them seem to have cars..) and she has been hanging out with me less and less. And it seems like she only hangs out with me if she wants me to do something for her, like drive her somewhere or pick up her new friends and bring them all somewhere, stuff like that. And all her friends try to treat me like shit and she doesnt say anything about it. I didnt really think much of it at first how she didnt invite me to stay with them but now i realize she pretty much likes her new friends better or something. its cool with me tho, shes happier and stuff.
The only bad thing is that its hella depressing. I feel like ive lost my best friend who ive known prettymuch all my life. I cant talk to her about it, that would only mess stuff up more. i know her and i think this is more of a permanent change.
Normally i would just hangout with my old friends but i dont really know them anymore and its awkward being around them since theyve got theyre own stuff going on now that im not a part of. I also started hanging out with my girlfriend a lot more but now shes starting to really piss me off in a serious kind of way, and its not the same.
Well i dont know why im writing all this stuff, just wanted to tell someone i guess.
2.2 Straight six
10-22-2006, 06:59 AM
what the hell does BFF mean?
nissan_240sx
10-22-2006, 07:59 AM
best friends forever, or maybe ment best friend and held F too long
sad to hear, hope you work things out
sad to hear, hope you work things out
beef_bourito
10-22-2006, 08:29 AM
do you go to college? if so i'd say just find new friends. i know it hurts when you lose old friends, it's happened to me, but if you're in college it shouldn't be that had to find new friends. i go to university in canada, and this one girl i was hanging out with was pissing me off so i just decided i'd hang out with new people, by about 2 or 3 days we were friends (as in me and the new people). although it might be different in engineering since we've got the exact same schedule so you see them every day all the time so finding new people to talk to is pretty easy.
Damien
10-22-2006, 08:39 AM
i move every 3 yrs. i dont have long term friends like that. get over...
go find new ones. you know you'd have to sooner or later.
we're a real caring bunch here aren't we?
go find new ones. you know you'd have to sooner or later.
we're a real caring bunch here aren't we?
beef_bourito
10-22-2006, 08:55 AM
i'm not saying i don't care, hell i think i might be in the process of losing one of my best girl friends (not girlfriend sadly) and it's really sucking, it's for different reasons, i just can't hang out with her because i'm busy at university and she's going to the high school i went to (it's a boarding school so she's only home on weekends and breaks) but she's been away for a bunch of weekends and it's pissing me off. i can't get her out of my head because every morning to get to school i have to drive by the way to get to her place and it reminds me of her and i just really miss her.
so i know what you're going through, i've gone through it with some of my guy friends, it really sucks and you feel like crap but you've got to get over it and find new friends. hell you might enjoy your new friends enough that you'll forget about your old ones, it happened to me but i live in the same town as my old ones for the most part so occasionally i want to hang out with them but i never end up doing it. anyways i'm rambling so ill end this post.
so i know what you're going through, i've gone through it with some of my guy friends, it really sucks and you feel like crap but you've got to get over it and find new friends. hell you might enjoy your new friends enough that you'll forget about your old ones, it happened to me but i live in the same town as my old ones for the most part so occasionally i want to hang out with them but i never end up doing it. anyways i'm rambling so ill end this post.
2.2 Straight six
10-22-2006, 09:02 AM
holy crap! Le Boeuf is back!
Damien
10-22-2006, 10:06 AM
ok, being the military brat, i'm saying get over it. even the friend i manage to stay in contact with or we moved and then they moved close by etc...i've lost and thats a big deal knowing someone for more than 3-4yrs.
TexasF355F1
10-22-2006, 11:50 AM
Sorry to hear that. It sucks.
XeVeNskyLiNE
10-22-2006, 12:34 PM
Now she's not exactly a 'best' friend if she's putting you through this is she? Rightttttttt. You lose touch with alot of friends after high school, its part of life.
beef_bourito
10-22-2006, 01:58 PM
holy crap! Le Boeuf is back!
Le Boeuf finished his lab report on friday so he can hang out on the weekend and actually has some free time since there aren't any rowing competitions this weekend :)
Le Boeuf finished his lab report on friday so he can hang out on the weekend and actually has some free time since there aren't any rowing competitions this weekend :)
Toksin
10-22-2006, 04:03 PM
Meh.
ec437
10-22-2006, 04:38 PM
If you can't talk to her about it, she must be a crappy "best friend".
00accord44
10-22-2006, 05:02 PM
Alls I can say is toughen up. You gotta let shit roll off your back. I've been in similar situations and if somebody decides they're now too busy or cool to hang out with you then their loss, they weren't as good a friend as you thought they were. If she comes back one day, so be it. By then you'll have new friends and maybe she won't fit into those plans.
Emotions are overrated. If you let little shit get you down, you'll never get up. :2cents:
Emotions are overrated. If you let little shit get you down, you'll never get up. :2cents:
eversio11
10-22-2006, 11:29 PM
Dude, how old are you, have you never made new friends before? People split apart over time, it happens, just find some new people to hang out with and you'll have a new best friend.
naughty koolaid
10-23-2006, 03:21 AM
Alls I can say is toughen up. You gotta let shit roll off your back. I've been in similar situations and if somebody decides they're now too busy or cool to hang out with you then their loss, they weren't as good a friend as you thought they were. If she comes back one day, so be it. By then you'll have new friends and maybe she won't fit into those plans.
Emotions are overrated. If you let little shit get you down, you'll never get up. :2cents:
way to be a man. :disappoin
like everyone else said, either just let it go and find new people who won't let you down like this or talk it over with her. share your feelings with her and see what she has to say on the subject. people change as they grow up and losing best friends is hard but it happens. i know i only have one friend who hasn't changed and drifted apart from me. people come and go out of your life, thats how it is. if you don't like it, be a little more proactive and do something to save the friendship before it's too late.
Emotions are overrated. If you let little shit get you down, you'll never get up. :2cents:
way to be a man. :disappoin
like everyone else said, either just let it go and find new people who won't let you down like this or talk it over with her. share your feelings with her and see what she has to say on the subject. people change as they grow up and losing best friends is hard but it happens. i know i only have one friend who hasn't changed and drifted apart from me. people come and go out of your life, thats how it is. if you don't like it, be a little more proactive and do something to save the friendship before it's too late.
2.2 Straight six
10-23-2006, 03:37 AM
Emotions are overrated.
you will end up very lonely if you think like that.
you will end up very lonely if you think like that.
Toksin
10-23-2006, 04:06 AM
fredjacksonsan
10-23-2006, 07:14 AM
Moved to relationships.
ghostrx7
10-23-2006, 10:18 AM
people do change, u just gotta go with the flow.... i think age has something to do with this post...
00accord44
10-23-2006, 11:12 AM
way to be a man. :disappoin
you will end up very lonely if you think like that.
Let me clarify my statement. Overanalyzing and pondering on situations like this doesn't help anything. Stuff either matters or it doesn't. If it matters, do somethin about it. If it doesn't let it go. Getting emotional and depressed about interpersonal situations is a counter-productive human flaw.
So should a situation arise where you don't know what to do (which happens to everybody... even androids like me) you can mull over it and let it drag you down or HARDEN UP and brush it off. Weigh the pros and cons of taking action on a situation or remaining stagnant. From there, you can determine whether or not your lack of action will be bringing you down for the rest of your life, and if it is then you need to get off your ass and make a move.
There's only one person I know right now that I mentally couldn't afford to lose. I almost lost her once, but I got off my ass and got her back. She matters, all else doesn't. Fact: people pass through your life. Its up to you to determine who will leave the biggest hole behind them.
you will end up very lonely if you think like that.
Let me clarify my statement. Overanalyzing and pondering on situations like this doesn't help anything. Stuff either matters or it doesn't. If it matters, do somethin about it. If it doesn't let it go. Getting emotional and depressed about interpersonal situations is a counter-productive human flaw.
So should a situation arise where you don't know what to do (which happens to everybody... even androids like me) you can mull over it and let it drag you down or HARDEN UP and brush it off. Weigh the pros and cons of taking action on a situation or remaining stagnant. From there, you can determine whether or not your lack of action will be bringing you down for the rest of your life, and if it is then you need to get off your ass and make a move.
There's only one person I know right now that I mentally couldn't afford to lose. I almost lost her once, but I got off my ass and got her back. She matters, all else doesn't. Fact: people pass through your life. Its up to you to determine who will leave the biggest hole behind them.
flip888
10-24-2006, 03:58 PM
Yeah i hear what you guys are saying. This kind of stuff does happen to everyone and its just something i have to deal with. I will get over it, but, i dont know, everyones different i guess. it will take a lot of time for me.
I did manage to talk to her about this yesterday though...kinda.
She said we are still best friends but she just likes hanging out with them more, and basically that i was boring now. I was like "WTF then were not best friends, i only see you 2 or 3 HOURS a week and your with them everyday". i said it to myself but i should have said it out loud.
Plus i know she likes one of the guys she hangs out with who is 23 (i dont really care how old he is but it kinda rubs it in worse that hes older than me somehow). But ive talked to ths guy before and hes a real A-hole. he says he would kick my ass if i make MY best friend sad or cry and he talks shit about my car all the time (92 AWD DSM w/16g and all supporting mods). Ive been doing muay thai for years and ive been boxing since i was 12 years old and i use to be friends with a guy who is a blue belt in Brazilian jujitsu and hes taught me everything he knew. I would love it if this guy tried to kick my ass.
But yeah i would definitely do anything i could to make things like they were. I dont value anything over my best friends friends and family. I would even quit my job if i thought it would help. i gues ill just have to wait and see what happens, maybe she will get bored with them.
I did manage to talk to her about this yesterday though...kinda.
She said we are still best friends but she just likes hanging out with them more, and basically that i was boring now. I was like "WTF then were not best friends, i only see you 2 or 3 HOURS a week and your with them everyday". i said it to myself but i should have said it out loud.
Plus i know she likes one of the guys she hangs out with who is 23 (i dont really care how old he is but it kinda rubs it in worse that hes older than me somehow). But ive talked to ths guy before and hes a real A-hole. he says he would kick my ass if i make MY best friend sad or cry and he talks shit about my car all the time (92 AWD DSM w/16g and all supporting mods). Ive been doing muay thai for years and ive been boxing since i was 12 years old and i use to be friends with a guy who is a blue belt in Brazilian jujitsu and hes taught me everything he knew. I would love it if this guy tried to kick my ass.
But yeah i would definitely do anything i could to make things like they were. I dont value anything over my best friends friends and family. I would even quit my job if i thought it would help. i gues ill just have to wait and see what happens, maybe she will get bored with them.
ghostrx7
10-24-2006, 04:13 PM
or maybe that dude will use her, dump her, then she'll come running back....
XeVeNskyLiNE
10-26-2006, 07:54 AM
Bah, high school bullshit.
Its tough man I know, but just leave it alone. The whole hting has nothing but trouble and disappointment written all over it. Some girls are just like that, they like to be treated like shit. I say still be there for her, but don't you dare go out of your way for her. She's obviously shown how unimportant you are to her now, the only thing that;ll change her mind is when the shit hits the fan. But if that happens and she comes running back to you, be careful, cuz chances are she'll stab you in the back. I've been there, done that.
Its tough man I know, but just leave it alone. The whole hting has nothing but trouble and disappointment written all over it. Some girls are just like that, they like to be treated like shit. I say still be there for her, but don't you dare go out of your way for her. She's obviously shown how unimportant you are to her now, the only thing that;ll change her mind is when the shit hits the fan. But if that happens and she comes running back to you, be careful, cuz chances are she'll stab you in the back. I've been there, done that.
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