1 liners

Change is inevitable. Except from a vending machine.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Never fart in a lift unless you are getting out at the next floor.

Power to the peephole.

ADD YOUR OWN

You can't have everything, where would you put it?

Mosquito: an insect that makes flies look good after all.

If you got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it to slow.

If you want to know why they are called the OPPOSITE sex, just express an opinion.

A friend is a person who dislikes the same people you do.

I am a success in one way. I started out with noting and stll have most of it left.

Half the lies they tell about me are not true.

We learn nothing from history, except that we learn nothing from history.

When fate closes a door; go in a window.

People who drink to drown their sorrows away should be told that sorrow knows how to swim. (caused me to stop drinking! :rolleyes:)

Ad astra per aspera

Now heres a joke for all you psychic's out there...

Originally posted by ozriceboy
Now heres a joke for all you psychic's out there...

LOL

I used be indecisive...now I'm not so sure.

theres nothing so hollow as lauging at the koke you were just about to tell.

A comedian is someone that knows a good joke when he steals it.:D

Show me a bloke who can laugh when everything goes wrong . . . I'll show you an idiot

If you succeded at failing, what did you just do?

Ozrice-:hehehe:

Originally posted by Damien

Ad astra per aspera

Okay, I'm dumb... and very sleepy... but isn't it originally "Ad astra per ardua"??? I'm just too sleepy to look up what the "joke" part of that is... :o



If at first you don't succeed, pay someone else to do it.

edit: actually, my first encounter with that phrase was written as "per ardua ad astra" but seeing as how it's a latin phrase, the order really doesn't matter... Anyhoo, it's not really a "one-liner" as my understanding was that it meant "by striving we reach the stars" A cool line, though not particularly funny.

Originally posted by saturntangerine


Okay, I'm dumb... and very sleepy... but isn't it originally "Ad astra per ardua"??? I'm just too sleepy to look up what the "joke" part of that is... :o



If at first you don't succeed, pay someone else to do it.

Don't get technical on me. I'm tired too! :sleep: I actually don't know, I just saw that one and posted it because it was in another language but come to think of it, I think it was.

:sleep::sleep::sleep:

Why procrastinate about what you can avoid all together?

Originally posted by saturntangerine
edit: actually, my first encounter with that phrase was written as "per ardua ad astra" but seeing as how it's a latin phrase, the order really doesn't matter... Anyhoo, it's not really a "one-liner" as my understanding was that it meant "by striving we reach the stars" A cool line, though not particularly funny.

the motto of the Royal New Zealand Airforce

Taz, stop making Tangie look that smart! :p

Besides, it's been awhile and I didn't know what it meant. I did know it wasn;t funny, just liked the fact it was Latin! :D

:sleep:

Sign in a fruit shop: "God help those who help themselves"

Prices are subject to change according to customers attitude.

Sign outside funeral parlor: Parking is for customers only!

Wanted. Man to wash dishes and two waitresses

Tom Waits-"Better a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy"