If men ruled the world.....

Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call
to her real number.

Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to
"I love you."

Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards.

When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she'd
appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out.

Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to the ass and a "Nice hustle,
you'll get 'em next time" would pretty much do it.

Birth control would come in ale or lager.

You'd be expected to fill your resume with gag names of people you'd worked
for, like "Heywood J'Blowme."

Each year, your raise would be pegged to the fortunes of the NFL team of
your choice.

The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.

"Sorry I'm late, but I got really wasted last night" would be an acceptable
excuse for tardiness.

Tanks would be far easier to rent.

Garbage would take itself out.

Instead of beer belly, you'd get "beer biceps."

Instead of an expensive engagement ring, you could present your wife-to-be
with a giant foam hand that said, "You're #1!"

Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in
leap years.

"Cops" would be broadcast live, and you could phone in advice to the
pursuing cops.(Or to the crooks.)

The only show opposite "Monday Night Football" would be "Monday Night
Football From A Different Camera Angle."

Telephones would automatically cut off after 30 seconds of conversation.

:ylsuper Excellent!

:D :lol2:



funny thing is I read that only yesterday on another site :rolleyes:

Don't we only wish

nice :)

u forgot some ..


On Mothers Day, you'd get the day off to go drinking.

Every woman under 30 that worked would have to do so topless.

Every man would get four, real, 'Get Out of Jail Free' cards per year.

Lifeguards could remove females from beaches for violating the "Public
Ugliness" law.

Lager would have the same effect as Viagra.

"Fancy a shag" would be the only chat up line in existence and it would
work every time.

Everyone would drive at least 70mph and anyone driving under that would be fined.

Dinner break would happen every hour.

Saying "Lets have a threesome. You, me and your sister" to your
wife/girlfriend would get the response "What a great idea!"

Harrier jump jets would take you to and from work.

Everyone would own a real Lightsabre. Any disagreements would be settled with a fight to the death (or the loss of a hand.)

Vomiting after 20 pints would actually make you more attractive to the
opposite sex.

When it was time to leave work, a whistle would sound and you'd get to
slide down the back of a Brontosaurus like Fred Flintstone.

:lol2:

Originally posted by ragt20


When it was time to leave work, a whistle would sound and you'd get to
slide down the back of a Brontosaurus like Fred Flintstone.



:lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2:

Originally posted by curious
Tanks would be far easier to rent.
:ylsuper That would rule!!!!! :D

.................................................. .If?:confused:









:sun:

IF ONLY:finger:

***looks for pen he dropped***

Originally posted by ragt20


When it was time to leave work, a whistle would sound and you'd get to
slide down the back of a Brontosaurus like Fred Flintstone.

:lol2: What you talking 'bout??? thats what happens every day for me, I also drive my car by running my feet along the ground :finger:

^^^^^
Well, it is a Jetta! :finger:
Good post! Lol.

Nice ones guys :silly2: :silly2: :silly2: :silly2: