Doctor DVS

Doctor DVS had slept with one of his patients and had felt guilty all day long.
No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't.
The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming.
But every once in a while he'd hear that soothing voice within himself, trying to reassure him:
"DVS, don't worry about it. You aren't the first doctor to sleep with one of their patients and you won't be the last.
And you're single. Let it go......"
But invariably the other voice inside his head would bring him back to reality: "DVS, you're a vet...."
.
.
.
.
.


Thought it was time i had a dig at me old mate DVS
:finger: :devil: :finger: :devil: :finger: :devil: :finger:

Originally posted by primera man





Thought it was time i had a dig at me old mate DVS
:finger: :devil: :finger: :devil: :finger: :devil: :finger:


Too right :silly2: :silly2: :silly2: :silly2:


Very nice PMan :silly2:


Don't blame me when you see Doc digging your shallow grave :finger:

Seems God was just about done creating the universe, had a couple of left-over things left in his bag of creations, so he stopped by to visit Primera Man and Primera lady in the Garden. He told the couple that one of the things he had to give away was the ability to stand up and pee. "It's a very handy thing," God told the couple who he found hanging around under an apple tree. "I was wondering if either one of you wanted that ability." Primera Man popped a cork!! He jumped up and begged, "Oh, give that to me! I'd love to be able to do that! It seems the sort of thing a Man should do. Oh please, oh please, oh please, let me have that ability. I'd be so great! When I'm working in the garden or screwing the animals, I could just let it rip, I'd be sooooo cool. Oh please, God, let it be me who you give that gift to, let me stand and pee, oh please........." On and on he went like an excited little boy (who had to pee ).

Primera Lady just smiled and shook her head at the display. She told God that if Primera Man really wanted it so badly, and it sure seemed to be the sort of thing that would make him happy, she really wouldn't mind if Primera Man were the one given the ability to stand up and pee. And so it was. And it was...........well, good. "Fine," God said, looking back into his bag of left-over gifts. "What's left here? Oh yes, multiple orgasms..."







Touche!:devil:

hiding in a corner laughing hehehehehehehehe :lol2:

Originally posted by DVSNCYNIKL
"What's left here? Oh yes, multiple orgasms..."





Warren! Little man I think you have some explianing to do! :devil: :devil: :devil:

DVS had been in business for 25 years and is finally sick of the stress.
He quits his job and buys 50 acres in Alaska as far from humanity as
possible.
He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month.
Otherwise it's total peace and quiet.

After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his
door. He opens it and there is a big, bearded man standing there.

"Name's RAGS....Your neighbor from 40 miles away....Having a party
Friday....Thought you might like to come. About 5..."
"Great" says DVS, "after six months out here I'm ready to meet some local
folks. Thank you."

As RAGS is leaving, he stops. "Gotta warn you...There's gonna be some
drinkin."
"Not a problem....after 25 years in business, I can drink with the best of
em."

Again, as he starts to leave, RAGS stops. "More'n likely gonna be some
fightin' too."
DVS says, "Well, I get along with people. I'll be there. Thanks again."

Once again RAGS turns from the door. "I've seen some wild sex at these
parties, too."
"Now that's really not a problem" says DVS. "I've been all alone for six
months! I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I bring?"

RAGS stops in the door again and says, "Whatever you want, just gonna be the
two of us."



:finger: :finger: :finger: :finger: :finger: :finger:

Primera Man walks into a hamburger shop and orders a regular meal. Later, the waitress brings his meal to him. He takes a bite out of it, and notices there's a small hair in the hamburger. He begins yelling frantically at the waitress, "Waitress, there's a hair in my hamburger! I demand to see what is going on!"

So, the waitress takes him back where the cook is and to his demise, he sees the cook take the meat patty and flatten it under his arm pit. He says, "That's disgusting!"

Then the waitress says, "You think that's disgusting you should see him make donuts."

And thats 2 points each!

But it looks like Pman is come back for a 3rd round!

Sheriff Moppie is the Sheriff in a small town and walks out in the street and sees DVS coming down the walk with nothing on but his cowboy hat, gun and his boots.
So Moppie arrests him for indecent exposure. As he is locking him up
he asks " Why in the world are you dressed like this'?
DVS: " Well it's like this Moppie... I was in the bar down the road
and this pretty little redhead asks me to go out to her motor home with her....and I did. We go inside and she pulls off her top and asks me to pull off my shirt...so I did....

Then she pulls off her skirt and asks me to pull off my pants..So I
did... Then she pulls off her panties and asks me to pull off my shorts...So I did... Then she gets on the bed and looks at me kind of funny and says: "Now go
to town cowboy...."
So here I am!

Originally posted by primera man
Sheriff Moppie is the Sheriff in a small town and walks out in the street and sees DVS......................


How did you know I worked as a Sheriff part time on week ends!




looks like 3-2 in Pmans favour, can the Doc make up the missing point........

Primera Man breaks into a house. He sees a CD player that he wants so he takes it. Then he hears a voice "JESUS is watching you". He looks around with his flashlight wandering "What The HELL Was That?". He spots some $ on a table and takes it......Once again he hears a voice " JESUS is watching you". He hides in a corner trying to find where the voice came from. He spots a birdcage with a parrot in it! He goes over and asks " Was that your voice?". It said "YES". He then says "What's your name?". It says "MOSES". The burglar says " What kind of person names his bird moses??" The parrot replys "THE SAME PERSON THAT NAMES HIS ROTWEILER "JESUS".:D

3 ALL!!!!!!!!!!!

Damn! :lol2:

DVS was traveling through the countryside, selling insect
repellent.
He came to a farmhouse and tried his pitch on the farmer. "Sir, my
bug spray
is so good you will never be bitten again, I guarantee it."

The farmer was dubious. "Young man, I'll make you a proposition.
I'll tie
you out in my cornfield buck naked, covered with that bug spray. If
there is
not a single bite on you come morning, I'll buy a whole case from
you."

DVS was delighted. They went to the field and he stripped.
The
farmer sprayed him thoroughly with the bug spray and tied him to a
stake.
Back to the house went the farmer. The next morning, the farmer and
his
family trooped out to the corn field. Sure enough, the salesman was
there,
hanging in his bonds, not a single bite on him. Yet he was a total
wreck!
Pale, ghastly, haggard, and drawn, but not one bite on him.

The farmer was perplexed. "DVS," he said, "Now, you don't have a
bite on you
but you look like hell! What the devil happened?"

DVS looked up through bloodshot eyes and croaked, "For
crying out
loud, Mister, doesn't that calf have a Mother!!!"

Originally posted by primera man


DVS looked up through bloodshot eyes and croaked, "For
crying out
loud, Mister, doesn't that calf have a Mother!!!"


LOL!!!

1/2 a Bonus point for original material!

thats 4.5-3 Pmans leading.

Primera Man and his wife are driving down the road when a cop pulls them over. The cop says to Primera Man, "Do you know that you were speeding?" Primera Man replies, "No sir, I didn't know I was speeding." Then Primera Mans wife then yells, "Yes you did, you knew you were speeding I've been telling you to slow down for miles." "SHUT UP!" Primera Man says to his wife, "Shut the hell up, just sit back and be quite." Then the cop says, "well, since I've got you pulled over did you know that the tag on your license plate is expired?" "No Sir" Primera Man replies, "I did not know that" "WHATEVER!" His wife yells, "I've been telling you to go get it up to date for 2 whole months now!" "Shut up" Primera Man yells to his wife again! "Sit back and shut up, mind your own business!" Curious, the cop walks over to the woman's side of the car and asks her, "Does he always talk to you this way?" "No" she replies, " Only when he's drinking!":bloated: :hehe:

Primera man was speeding down the highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over.

The officer handed Primera man a citation, and then as he turned to walk back to his cruiser, Primera man asked, "Officer, I know I was speeding, but I don't think it's fair. There were plenty of other cars around me going just as fast, so why did I get the ticket?"

"Ever go fishing?" the policeman asked Primera man.

"Um, yeah... so," a startled Primera man replied.

The officer grinned and added, "Ever catch ALL the fish?"



Check and Mate!:devil: :D :D

A woman was very distraught at the fact she had not had a date nor
any sex in quite some time. Afraid she might have something wrong with her, she decided to employ the medical expertise of a sex therapist.
Her personal physician recommended Dr. DVS, a well-known Chinese
sex therapist. So she went and saw him. Upon entering the examination
room,
Dr DVS took one look at her and said, "OK, take off aw your crows."
She quickly disrobed and stood naked before him. "Now," said DVS,
"get dow on knees and craw reery, reery, fass away from me to the other side of room."
Having done what Dr. DVS said, "Okay, now turn around and craw
reery, reery fass to me."
Once again she obliged. Dr. DVS slowly shook his head, "OK, your
probrem vaywe, vaywe bad, you have Ed Zachary Disease....worse case
I ever see... that why you not have dates, that why you not have sex."
Confused, the woman asked, "What is Ed Zachary Disease?" DVS
replied,
"It when your face rook Ed Zachary rike your ass."
:D :D :D

DVS and a woman were having drinks, getting to know
one another and started bantering back and forth about
male/female issues. They talked about who was better
in certain sports, who were the better entertainers,
etc. The flirting continued for more than an hour
when the topic of sex came up. So they got into an
argument about who enjoyed sex more.

DVS said, "Men obviously enjoy sex more than
women. Why do you think we're so obsessed with
getting laid?" He then went on for several hours
arguing his point, even going so far as to ask other
men in the bar for their opinions. The woman listened
quietly until the DVS was finished making his point.
Confident in the strength of his argument, DVS
awaited her response.
That doesn't prove anything," the woman countered.

"Think about this - When your ear itches and you put
your little finger in it and wiggle it around, then
pull it out, which feels better - your ear or your finger?

Primera man sits down in a Cafe' and asks for the hot chile.
The waitress says, "The guy next to you got the last bowl."
He looks over and sees that the guy's finished his meal, but the chili bowl is still full.
Primera man says, "Are you going to eat that?"
The other guy says, "No. Help yourself."
Primera man takes it and starts to eat it. When he gets about half way down, his fork hits something. He looks down sees a dead mouse in it, and he pukes! the chili back into the bowl.
The other guy says, "That's about as far as I got, too."

This duck walks into a convenience store that Primera mans' the clerk of and asks "Do you have any grapes?" Primera man says no, and the duck leaves. The next day, the duck returns and asks, "Do you have any grapes?" Primera man again says no, and the duck leaves. The day after that, the duck walks in the store again and asks "Do you have any grapes?" Primera man screams at the duck, "You've come in here the past two bloody days and asked if we had any grapes. I told you no every time that we don't have any grapes! I swear if you come back in here again, and ask for grapes, I'll nail your webbed feet to the bloody floor!!" The duck left, and returned the next day. This time he asked, "Do you have any nails?" Primera man replied, "No," and the duck said, "Good! Got any grapes?":jump: :biggrin2:

:lol2: :lol2: :ylsuper

And the DVS One still holds the crown!!:devil: :devil:

Originally posted by DVSNCYNIKL
And the DVS One still holds the crown!!:devil: :devil:
Only because its 320am !!!....but the PMan will rest up for awile to fight the war another day :devil: :devil: :devil:
Muhahahahahaha :devil: :devil:

Originally posted by primera man

Only because its 320am !!!....but the PMan will rest up for awile to fight the war another day :devil: :devil: :devil:
Muhahahahahaha :devil: :devil:

Yeah, you rest up now. Gives me plenty of time to rack up on ammo and put you back into the dungeons of AF for a while.:smoka:

Originally posted by DVSNCYNIKL


Yeah, you rest up now. Gives me plenty of time to rack up on ammo and put you back into the dungeons of AF for a while.:smoka:
Victory will be short my young skywalker.....because the PMan will strike back and crush you again to rule the threads of AF again.
:devil: :devil:

Originally posted by primera man

Victory will be short my young skywalker.....because the PMan will strike back and crush you again to rule the threads of AF again.
:devil: :devil: http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid4/pab73943d86d8d0d3c57934e59464b797/fe576a72.gif

:lol2: IT's hella funny watching ya'all make jokes about each other......

P-man had only been married for two weeks. He, although very much in love, couldn’t wait to go out into town and party with his old buddies, so he says to Mrs P_man, “Honey, I’ll be right back......”
“Where are you going coochy cooh?” asked P-Lady.
“I’m going to the bar, pretty face. I’m going to have a beer.”
P_lady says to him, “You want a beer my love?” Then she opens the door to the refrigerator and shows him 25 different kinds of beer brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, Indiana, etc.
P Man doesn’t know what to do, and the only thing he can think of to say is “Yes, loolie loolie....but the bar...you know...the frozen glass....”
He didn’t get to finish the sentence, when the his wife interrupts him by saying “You want a frozen glass puppy face?” She takes a huge mug out of the freezer so frozen that she was getting chills holding it.
P Man, looking a bit pale, says “Yes tootsie, roll, but at the bar they have those hors d’oeuvres that are really delicious...I won’t be long. I’ll be right back. I promise OK?”
“You want hors d’oeuvres poochi pooh?”
She opens the oven and takes out 15 dishes of different hors d’oeuvres; chicken wings, pigs in a blanket, mushroom caps, port strips, etc.
“But sweet honey....at the bar...you know...the swearing, the dirty words and all that...”


“You want dirty words cutie pie?...




HERE, DRINK YOUR F*CKING BEER IN YOUR FROZEN F*CKING MUG AND EAT YOUR F*CKING SNACKS, BECAUSE YOU AREN’T GOING ANYWHERE! GOT IT A**HOLE?!”



:finger: :finger:


Doc I'm right beside ya :evillaugh:

AWW CRAP!!! You know I was stuck in a 2-hour traffic jam on I-95 South, and then stuck hanging out at some lousy bridge in Stamford this morning, waiting for Waste Management to come and haul off a roll off dumpster while all this beautifully-offensive insanity was transpiring in this thread?!?! Too bad I missed it... :(

Very impressed with all the hilarious jokes you guys pulled out of your asses on this one (really love the chili/puke joke, DVS!). I look forward to renewed insults in round 2 tomorrow :ylsuper

And if there's such a thing as an AF "Thread of the Year" award, I'd say this is a strong contender :sun:

BEST THREAD EVER!

Damn fools!

I think both of you have been smoking to much dope, or have you simply forgotten about the Yaya? :rolleyes: :rolleyes:




But this is a damn hilirious thread! :lol2:

Originally posted by Moppie
But this is a damn hilirious thread! :lol2: :devil:


Long ago, there lived a sailor named Captain Moppie.

He was a manly man's man, who showed no fear when facing his enemies.

One day, while sailing the Seven Seas, his lookout spotted a pirate ship.

The crew became frantic! Captain Moppie bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!"

The first mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt, and while wearing the brightly colored frock, the Captain led his crew into battle and defeated the pirates.

That evening, all the men sat around on the deck recounting the day's triumph. One of them asked the captain, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before battle?"

The captain replied, "If I had been wounded in the attack, the shirt would not have shown my blood. Thus, you men would continue to fight, unafraid."

All of the men sat and marveled at both the courage and intelligence of such a manly man's man.

As dawn came the next morning, the lookout spotted not one, not two, but TEN pirate ships approaching!

The crew stared in worshipful silence at the captain and waited for his usual brilliant orders.

Captain Moppie gazed with steely eyes upon the vast armada arrayed against his ship, and without fear, turned and calmly shouted, "Get me my brown pants."

Originally posted by DVSNCYNIKL
Primera Man walks into a hamburger shop and orders a regular meal. Later, the waitress brings his meal to him. He takes a bite out of it, and notices there's a small hair in the hamburger. He begins yelling frantically at the waitress, "Waitress, there's a hair in my hamburger! I demand to see what is going on!"

So, the waitress takes him back where the cook is and to his demise , he sees the cook take the meat patty and flatten it under his arm pit. He says, "That's disgusting!"

Then the waitress says, "You think that's disgusting you should see him make donuts."

Oh, so it killed him??

Originally posted by Moppie
Damn fools!

I think both of you have been smoking to much dope, or have you simply forgotten about the Yaya? :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :finger: WHAT THE FUCK IS A "YAYA?" :huh:

P.S. Nice one, Jay!

Originally posted by JD@af
:finger: WHAT THE FUCK IS A "YAYA?" :huh:aaarrrrrggh not the yaya!!!! :cry: :cry: :uhoh:


:p

Originally posted by JD@af
:finger: WHAT THE FUCK IS A "YAYA?" :huh:

Dead, thats what it is.

ROUND TWO.....WHERE ARE YOU DVS :devil: :devil: :devil: :devil: :devil: :devil:

DVS came home with a tube of KY jelly and said, "This will
make you happy tonight."
He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all
over the doorknobs. He couldn't get back in.

A couple is lying in bed. DVS said "I am going to make you
the happiest woman in the world"
The woman says, "I'll miss you."

DVS said - Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love
to you really badly.
Mrs DVS said - Well, you succeeded.

DVS - Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
Mrs DVS - That's a good idea...you stand by the ironing board
while I sit on the sofa and fart.

DVS - What have you been doing with all the grocery money I
gave you?
Mrs DVS - Turn sideways and look in the mirror you fat bastard.

:devil: :devil: :devil: :devil: :devil: :devil:

Originally posted by jay@af
:devil:


Long ago, there lived a sailor named Captain Moppie.

He was a manly man's man, who showed no fear when facing his enemies.

One day, while sailing the Seven Seas, his lookout spotted a pirate ship.

The crew became frantic! Captain Moppie bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!"



:lol2:

But you know whats reall funny, I went out and bought a red shirt today, probobly about the same time you posted this! :eek:

Forunatly I have no intention of buying any Brown pants :finger: :finger:

Moppie is like that flaming bag of poo on your doorstep. You can stomp on it, but then you'll be followed around by his shit all day; or, you can just let that bag of hot air burn itself out naturally :D

:finger: Feel free to kiss my ass!! http://www.hondavision.com/images/smilies/wave.gif And don't forget to add those brown pants to your shopping list!
http://www.hondavision.com/images/smilies/horten.gif

Moppie is really thirsty one day,and in the roughest part of town.He sees a bar,and decides to grab a nice cold one.What he doesn't know,however is that the landlord has a very large Doberman,and the animal has just dropped a turd the size of a small hatchback just inside the pub door........

Moppie steps into the bar slips on the turd,hurtles across the room and crashes head -first into the bar counter.As he is straightening up,slightly more dazed and conused than usual,into the bar comeDVS,P-Man,andMr.T.

Unfortunately,Moppie's little skate has spread the turd in all directions, and these three big bad bastards all end up slipping over,sliding across the floor and landing in a stinking heap at Moppie's feet.

As they stand up and dust themselves off, Moppie looks at them,points to the brown smear on the bar floor and says.....

"I just did that!"


Last I heard he was out of intensive care...........;)

"Let the bodies hit the floor"





One night, Primera man passed by his son's room and heard his son praying: "God bless Mommy, Daddy, and Grandma. Ta ta, Grandpa."
Primera man didn't quite know what this meant, but was glad his son was praying. The next morning, they found Grandpa dead on the floor of a heart attack. Primera man reassured himself that it was just a coincidence, but was still a bit spooked.

The next night, he heard his son praying again: "God bless Mommy and Daddy. Ta ta, Grandma."

Primera man was worried, but decided to wait until morning. Sure enough, the next morning Grandma was on the floor, dead of a heart attack.

Really scared now, Primera man decided to wait outside his son's door the next night. And sure enough, the boy started to pray: "God bless Mommy. Ta ta, Daddy."

Now Primera man was so scared he practically soiled himself. He stayed up all night, and went to the doctor's early the next day to make sure his health was fine. When he finally came home, his wife was waiting on the porch. She said, "Thank God you're here -- we could really use your help! We found milkman dead on our porch this morning!"


:devil: :devil:

"Let's begin!"

Quickie before I goto bed, some of us have real jobs that actualy require us to be a aleart and active.



P-Man, DVS, Rag and Mr T were all hiking in Tibet when they realise its getting a bit dark. Forunatly up ahead they spot a little Inn, and head towards it.

Upon knocking on the a door a little old man with white hair asks what they require.
"A room for the night is all we need good sir" says Mr T.
The old man looks at the 4 weary travelers, nods his head "yes, I can supply you each with your own room, but it is on the condition that neither of you sleep with my daughter! And be warned in case you do, I will know and you will suffer for it!"
Behind the old man all 4 then catch a glance of the most beutifull women any has ever seen, and all instantly accept the offer of thier own room each.

The next morning before Mr T awakes with a large rock on his chest.
On it is a note: I know you snuck time with my daughter last night, now you will suffer the Tibetian rock torture.
Mr T sniggers, then laughs at the silly rock and quickly throws it out the window, a drop of several hundred feet.
On his chest lies another note: You left testicle was tied to the rock.
Mr T screams and dives out the window to try and catch the rock, but notices another note on the window sill: You right testicle was tied to the bed post!


Upon hearing Mt Ts screams the other 3 are instantly awaken and run to see whats going on.
The old man stops them in the hall and says "your friend interfered with my daughter! I found him, and so laid a trap of razor blades with in her! now which of you three also could not resist her!
OPEN Your trousers each of you!"
Rag looks suddenly guitly, opens his trouser and sure enough his cock drops off! AHHHH he cries, and the old man lopes his head off with a long sword!
DVS also looks worried, and threatened by the old man opens his pants.
Sure enough his cock also drops off, and his is scream silenced by the old man.
Pman turns to the old man and voluntiarly opens his trousers. But all 3 inchs of his manliness hang in place.
The old man looks at him and says "You sir are an honurable man! you are free to continue your journy"
Pman opens his mouth to say thank you, but is only able to utter "than.." before his toungue drops off!.




:finger: :frog:

Moppiedecides to launch the ultimate insult at DVS AND P-Man.He goes to the tattoo parlour armed with a couple of pics that he's downloaded,drops his strides and says..."O.K., can you put DVS on my left buttock,and P-Man on my right buttock?"

Many painful hours later,he heads for home.A few days later when the bruising has subsided,he checks out the mirror...and is not happy with what he sees.

He jumps in his little car,zips across Auckland,into Spec2 Girls office and drops his pants.Once he has recovered from the knee to the groin,he says...."What do you think?,who are they?".
Spec2 Girl replies.....The one on the left looks like Pandamonium,the one on the right,I think is Mr T..........

























.......but the one in the middle is definitely Gang$tarr.:D :D :D :D :D

Originally posted by taranaki

.......but the one in the middle is definitely Gang$tarr.:D :D :D :D :D


Damn that was brutal!!:D :D



BTW, looks like I win again as I haven't seen a response from my good ole mate Pman! I feel lonely now at the top.:(

:lol2:

I've been laughing and staying out of this, but I can't resist.


PM and DVS were having a discussion on the finer reasons why they like the game of golf. What I like about golf, DVS said, you get to spend the day outdoors in the sun and fresh air, exercising your body and mind. Screw that, said PM . I'll tell you why golf is such a great game. Where else can a guy like me get to spend the day with a bunch of hookers and not have his wife kill him!

PM, Mr. T and DVS are traveling on a train. They get bored and start telling each other about their families. PM says I have 4 kids, one more and they'll make a basketball team. Mr. T says huh! Thats nothing I have 10 boys, one more and I'll be the world-champion soccer-team's coach. DVS starts laughing. He says I've had 17 wives and no kids!! But one more wife and I'll open a golf course!

I have a new idol!:ylsuper:


Looks like this one was over before it started.

Gotta do one more for now

Mr T. and DVS meet on the golf course and decide to finish off the round together. DVS has a little dog with him and on the next green, when the friend holes out with a 20 foot putt, the little dog starts yipping and stands up on its hind legs. Mr. T is quite amazed at this clever trick of the dog's and says, "That dog is really talented! What does it do if you miss a putt?" DVS replies, "Somersaults." "Somersaults!!!! How many of them does it do??" Mr. T exclaims. "Mmm, depends on how hard I kick him in the ass!"

Originally posted by YogsVR4
Gotta do one more for now

Mr T. and DVS meet on the golf course and decide to finish off the round together. DVS has a little dog with him and on the next green, when the friend holes out with a 20 foot putt, the little dog starts yipping and stands up on its hind legs. Mr. T is quite amazed at this clever trick of the dog's and says, "That dog is really talented! What does it do if you miss a putt?" DVS replies, "Somersaults." "Somersaults!!!! How many of them does it do??" Mr. T exclaims. "Mmm, depends on how hard I kick him in the ass!"


:spit: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe:

Originally posted by YogsVR4


"Mmm, depends on how hard I kick him in the ass!" Ohhh, that poor little poochy!! :ylsuper You're all very funny guys! :silly2: :D

Mrs Yogs was standing before the bedroom mirror, admiring herself in her expensive new outfit. She posed this way and that before Yogs who was looking on with disinterest remarked "Your bum is the size of a 3-burner barbecue!"

Later that evening, tucked up and cosy in bed, Yogs leant over, tapped her on the shoulder, and asked hopefully "How about it?".

She replied "It's hardly worth lighting the Barby for half a sausage!"

Originally posted by primera man
Mrs Yogs was standing before the bedroom mirror, admiring herself in her expensive new outfit. She posed this way and that before Yogs who was looking on with disinterest remarked "Your bum is the size of a 3-burner barbecue!"

Later that evening, tucked up and cosy in bed, Yogs leant over, tapped her on the shoulder, and asked hopefully "How about it?".

She replied "It's hardly worth lighting the Barby for half a sausage!"


and the Pman is back :hehehe: :spit: :spit:

Originally posted by taranaki
He jumps in his little car,zips across Auckland,into [b]Spec2 Girls office and drops his pants.Once he has recovered from the knee to the groin,he says...."What do you think?,who are they?".
Spec2 Girl replies.....The one on the left looks like Pandamonium,the one on the right,I think is Mr T..........
:huh: Hey! Leave me out of your warped little tales! :p

:p :hehehe:

:D

It was Mr T's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying
the
post through all kinds of weather to the same neighbourhood.
When he arrived at PMans house, he was greeted by
the whole family there, who all hugged and congratulated him and sent him on his way with a gift cheque for $500.
At the second house DVS presented him fine Cuban cigars in an 18- carat gold box.

Moppie wh lived at the third house handed him a case of 30-year old Scotch whisky.
At the fourth house he was met at the door by a dumb blonde in her
lingerie. She took him by the arm and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced. When he had had enough they went downstairs, where the dumb blonde fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, tomatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and freshly-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a $5 note sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge. "All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the five dollars for?"
"Thats for you," said the dumb blonde, "Last night, I told Yogs that
today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you.
He said, 'F**k him. Give him five bucks'............... The breakfast was my idea."

From a passenger ship, everyone can see PM on a small island, shouting and desperately waving his hands.
"Who is it on that island?" DVS asks Captain Moppie.
"I have no idea..... but every year when we pass, he just goes nuts."

Originally posted by YogsVR4
From a passenger ship, everyone can see PM on a small island, shouting and desperately waving his hands.
"Who is it on that island?" DVS asks Captain Moppie.
"I have no idea..... but every year when we pass, he just goes nuts."

hehe:D