Blindsighted on the freeway

Yea I just wanted to tell you boys I was drinvin on the highway and some guy in a Dodge caliber thought he was all cool and tried to pass me but instead smoked me in the back and fucked up his car and the back of mine (not my talon no worries :) . ANyways repairs were 2 g's minimum not like I give a shit cause its him paying for it, for reckless driving lol but anyways it just sucks.


Anyways I'm really wasted right now; cause my beloved leafs lost (thats a hockey team) and well I was thinking whats a good thread starter;
So I thought of this;
THIS ONE TIME I WAS SOOOOO WASTED I>>>>>>>...........
Finish that for me, and maybe I'll telll you some of my stories SHIT i got a lot. PEEEEAAAAAAAAACEEEEEEEEE.

This time I was so wasted I couldn't even have sex with 3 girls. Had to call it quits and pass out..

I will tell you all the story of the CAT and the BUNNY if this thread gets 20 posts. NOT including mine.
Edit 20 decent posts not just SHit. trust me boys its worth it.

This one time I was so wasted, I was pouring shots and I held up my shot glass and saw 3. So I did what any sensible drunk would do. I went right across the line and tried to fill up all 3 and ended up dumped 151 all over my laptop... That was a good night...

One time I was so drunk I streaked down an alley totally naked. There was a group of those late-night walkers walking down the street and just stopped when they seen me.

This one other time I was so wasted, I was at my friends house and everyone disappeared. I decided to go looking for people and I totally busted into his sisters room while she was having sex with her boyfriend. I walked in and I'm like "WHatS goInnnn on in heeeeere?!?!?" They stopped and just looked at me. It was about that time my friend comes to the doorway and is yelling at me to get the hell out of there. It was about that moment I realized what was goin on in there. lol

lol thats great!!! i got stories to... but i dont have time right now.. i'll share later!

One time I was so wasted I told an F-Body guy how gay it was that my 4 cylinder car was faster than his with twice the cylinders and went and hit on his fiance. That was funny shit.

That same time I was so wasted, I ate half the plate of my buddie's nachos and fuckin licked the plate.

That same time I was so wasted, I dont remember the last 3-3.5 hours of the 5 I was drunk for. I woke up with puke on my new shirt, all over the sink, toilet seat, bathtub, and floor.

Thats what drinking about almost a half a liter of 80 proof rum will do to you.

So far so good; cept scotsee I kinda want more info, its not a very good story if you leave out huge parts sure we get the ending but how'd you meet these girls who were they what did you drink and how did it end.....
Trust me boys the cat and the bunny story will be worth It, heck Ill even add a pic.

Just fucking tell us the godammed story!

This one time I was so drunk I wondered into the woods and bacame part of the family with a pack of wolves.....yeah yeah...TELL THE STORY!!:banghead:

That shits WEAK lol
no but serious if I'm gonna tell it I'm gonna have to tell it right
and that involves a lot of typing. SO far its just not worth it to me, I'm not impressed. come on boys dig deep lol .

You better be impressed with my shit. I got a lot more stories than that. Mine is just the tip of the iceberg. lol

Then tell away Blackcrow, shit. Lets see here...

One time I was so drunk I almost nailed a Catholic 43 year old lady with a 15 year old son.

One time I was so drunk I passed out by the fire when we were camping. My buddy dragged me into the tent and I woke up about 10 minutes later confused as hell. "Where am I, where am I?!" My other two friends told me I was in the tent and told me where my buddy Mike was. So I get out of the tent and do that awesome drunk stumble-run over to the fire where Mike was and screamed, "How the fuck did I get in the fucking tent?!?" and *BAM* gave him the biggest pimp smack in the world. Then I sat there and talked to him and this girl for like 2.5 hours, funny thing is they never said anything, it was basically me talking to myself.

This one time I was so drunk I tried smoking a cigarette backwards and ended up nearly choking to death from sucking all the tobacco out of the end of it... Don't ask... I'm sure I didn't mean to smoke it that way... I hope... lol

This one time I was so drunk I grabbed my friends cat and while holding it in a bearhug I spun around like 50 times in his computer chair. Stood up, fell over, smashed the cat and the cat clawed the crap out of my hands. In my rage and fury, I grabbed the cat by the tail and swung it at the wall as hard as I could... The cat died shortly a week later from unknown causes...

This one time I was so drunk I drunk dialed my own mother... People had to take my phone from me the rest of the night because she kept trying to call back because she thought something was wrong. lol

This one time I was so drunk I tried walking home from our drunken campsite and the typical 10 minute walk took me 4 hours and I ended up back at the campsite. Everyone says they seen me head for home and I was gone for 4 hours then came back to them from the opposite direction from which I came... Technically I would have been crawling through a swamp to come from the other direction... It still remains a mystery...

This one time I was so drunk with my friend that I suggested we go field hopping in his BRAND NEW Celica... Yes, he was also extremely drunk... Moral of the story, keep somebody sober when your driving a brand new car. He called me the next morning; "Dude... There is mud all over my whole car... Where did we go last night?"

This one time we were so drunk we decided to have a "fireworks war". Amazingly nobody was killed... Although my one friend pulled a suicide move and held a bottle rocket in his hand... That was very interesting... Just a few minor burns occured that night. lol

OK well most of you guys can thank Brian for this story you are about to read.
Now I want to start by saying everything in this story is 100% true no exaggeration, if you think its full of shit, Im not going to argue with you thats your opinion. I'm just going to go ahead and tell you what happened and you can make up your own minds.

Without further adieu The Cat and The Bunny

It was halloween night 2005. I lived in Residence for my first year of university. I had been drinking, but not as heavily as I normally did and the night for me ended at about 3am. It was a rather tame night for halloween and to be frank I was kinda dissapointed. I went to bed (where I sleep in my boxers, alone). About 5 minutes after I had lay down (right as your in the stage right before sleep and wake) I heard a knock on my door. Not Uncommon people come and go all the time. I yell "come in" cause thats what I always do and the door opens very slowly.

I sit up in my bed in the pitch black looking, waiting to see who it is at my door. Standing at my door is two girls in full halloween costumes. One is wearing all black with cat ears and the other all white with a fluffy furry belt and bunny ears. The bunny says to me "we heard this is the place to be".

Now I am just right confused who said that?? I had no idea? They were complete strangers and they somehow thought that my room was the place to be? I'm like "uhh yea whats up, want to do a shot?" They are like "can we turn on the light?" at that point I realized that I had been sitting in the pitch black and that they couldn't see me. I'm like yea course go ahead.
The cat turns on the light and the bunny goes "ohh your cute". I hop out of my bed still in the boxers and ask them which type of shot they would like to tell. They did a little whispering and giggling to each other before we settled on a shot of Canadian Club.

We got to talking for a little bit turns out between them they had split a bottle of vanilla vodka. Not too bad for girls. Anyways; heres where the story gets good. Im going to have to warn anyone who is Not 18 to please leave the room.

I sit down on the bed the girls still standing and the bunny asks "can we give you hickies" now I'm not the type of guy who likes that immature shit but what can I say I wasn't in a position to say no. So I said sure whatever.

The girls sat down on either side of me and well started sucking on my neck just like they had asked to do. Now at this point I'm feeling pretty good, pretty brave so I slowly recline my position from sitting on the bed to lying down with both the girls still going at it on my neck.

Now They had been sucking on my neck for quite a while and I had some pretty mean hickies by then so I was bout ready to stop this even if it did ruin my shots. But I didn't want to say stop because Stop is such a mood killer. So I decided to say "you girls should be giving eachother hickies" and about as soon I had said that they were full out making out completely without me kinda deal.

Now put your dicks away for a second boys the story is about to get even more exciting.

Now let me give you a little visual of whats going on right now there is the Cat lying down on my bed and the bunny kneeling over top of her making out with her. And then theres me just watching wondering what to do. Keep in mind I don't know these girls and don't want to blow anything (except my load).

So I start rubbing the bunnys back. Ok Boys before you start shredding just let me tell you the stories not over ok. I know there are better things to rub but I'm getting somewhere, allright.

Now I'm rubbing the bunnies back and well yea you guys no whats there. The bra strap... So I cooly un hook the bra through the white baby tshirt. NO resistance. So growing more confident I start to raise the bunnies shirt over her head. Not only did I not get stopped but the Cat even helped take it off. By this point I'm thinking I'm in for sure. I take the bra off that I had previously unhooked and almost as soon as I got it off the cat was rubbing the bunnies tits, she was playing with them so fast that I didn't even get a feel. But my turn would cum (no pun intended).

The girls continue to make out in the same position (bunny kneeling over cat) bunny now has no shirt on cats playing with the tits from the bottom. I however and still somewhat left out. Now my confidence was sky high but little did I know it was about to be shattered......

Now I position my self behind the bunny and slowly take down her fluffy furry belt that felt soo soft and good in my hands. I slid them down her long smooth legs and tossed them off the end of my bed. Now all the bunny has left on are some tight tight white booty shorts with a pink playboy bunny ears logo on them. I grab those and start to slide them down.....

As soon as I get the booty shorts down to about her upper thigh...............
The cat starts Fingering the Bunny... HAHA not what you were expecting right? so now I'm thinking this shit is in the BAG. I rip off my boxers whip out my cock and am about to put it in the bunny (doggystyle) while cat continued to finger her pussy and they made out.

BUT; about as soon as my cock touched her pussy she said "no"...... I was shocked everything had been going so well. So what happens next???
I bet its not what you think.....

This story is now in intermission I'm going to return and finish it after the hockey game..... Trust me its only half way there and it gets better.... I will return tonight (or maybe tommorow we'll see). My fingers are tired right now too.

FUCK you Steve.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

You cruel bastard.

You know how to tell a story too

you kno... i saw the very similar story in a movie once..... haha continue!

damn it you deff. have to finish that one.

Part 2

Well to pick up where I had left; I had just got shut down by the bunny despite the intense girlie girl action I was privy to. What could have been the cause? Were they strictly lesbians? was it cause I didn't have a domer on? How did I fuck this one up? Well all hope was not lost......

The cat said to the bunny "whats wrong" cause she saw and heard what happened too. I was glad she asked because I didn't want to have to, Awckward!!! I could tell the bunny wanted to reply but she didn't want to say anything infront of me. Now my mind is racing; does she have yeast infection is it that time of the month fuck I gotta know, shit maybe its herpes or something.... the bunny gets redressed and grabs the cat and then tells me to hold on for a second they needed to have a little talk outside the room for a second.

Now boys I know you'd do anything to hear what went on in that conversation....... and shit so did I,,,,,,, Thats why I Listened in through my door.

Now I'm no super sleuth here but I think if you want to have a private converstaion you shouldn't do it right out my door talking loudly enough that anyone down the hall could hear let alone be in perfect view of my peep hole.

Now the conversation was pretty lengthy (at least it seemed that way when I had a rock hard dick waiting for two chicks to come back in my room) so I didn't know whether to tell you the story verbatim or just give you the gist of the conversation. So I am going to tell you a bit of both.

'what the hell are you doing" says the cat to the bunny.
"I can't do it" replies the bunny
"come on I NEED this" begs the cat
"he likes you better than me I can tell" she went on
"welllll" says the bunny waivering between yes and no

Now to stop the dialect between them and tell you why she was so apprehensive. The bunny goes on to say that she feels really bad about her BOYFRIEND who just left from visiting her that day. BUt the Cat was persuasive begging her telling her that she doesn't go to this university she was just up visiting too and this was her only chance to get whit a guy (not from her shitty little up north town, (let alone a stunner like me ;)

So about 2 minutes later I hear a knock on my door;
the bunny walks in first and says to me "you got a condom" ;)
"Yes yes I do" but I never ended up wearing it.
The rest is history man we had a wild ass threesome doing everything you can possibly imagine in a single sized bed.

Only one dissapointing part of the whole night;
at one point the cat asked the bunny "can I eat you out" but the bunny was having none of it :(. Oh well a pretty sucessful night.

The two girls slept with me naked that night and left early in the morning with the bunny leaving me her email adress. Off of her my space I found this pic.
Yes it was from that faithful halloween night; theres the bunny in the middle and the cat is there on the far right.
http://i83.photobucket.com/albums/j294/steviekallday/catbunny.jpg

Later the next day I was in the shower when my buddy yells to me;
"hey did those two girls come to your room last night" I was like
"uhh yea man howd you know?"
He's like "cause They randomly knocked on my door" but I was busy with a chick so I gave them your room number"
So "I'm like well thanks man, I owe you one,,,,, actually I owe you two"
"SHUT UP" he screams "SHUT UP"
Im like yeap word was around res in like .5 seconds made me the legend of Lennox/addington.

The END

Shoof man. I wish that happened to me! The only one that ever knocks on my door is... no one. :(

WAAAAITTT WAIT WAIT hold up a second.... that is absolutely CRAZY... you mean to tell me that YOU go to college?!!!!! holy CRAP.

no just kidding lol. pretty good little story there. i dont have a whole lot of drunk stories, but i have a funny one. me and a bunch of friends were on an island for a buddies bachelor party. it was saturday night and we started by eating hot dogs and steaks and stuff, and of course MOUNTAINS of booze. earier that day i had bought a bottle of goldshlager, first time i ever tried it. well i started the night off with 2 bud ice. then i had a glass of goldshlager mixed with fruit punch(hey it tasted good to me). then i was drinking seagrams 7 and 7-up. about that time i invented a new game, which we still play to this day: Jenga for Shots. You play jenga, and if you knock it over you drink two shots of 151. well we started playing, and everyone was buzzing real bad. in between shots that i was just randomly taking, i was drinking more 7&7 and goldshlager and punch(apparently i finished the goldsshlager that night). well i got up to take a piss, and when i came back, i had to take an entry fee of two shots. i didnt understand that, i started this damn game! but i did the shots anyways, and the first one hit hard, and then the second one told me it was going to kick my ass. i played for a few more minutes, all the while blacking out and swaying around and trying to wash it down with more 7&7. i had to take another piss, and then i walked over to the shore(where it was low-tide), and immmediately fell over and passed out. about 4am, my friends are pulling me from the water where the tide rose up and was splashing over my head. i was coughing and choking and a total vomitty mess. woke me up, and i walked over to where my tent was, only to find 2 of my friends had stolen my blanket and pillow! so i lay down anyways on the hard ground, freezing my ass off, stomach is churning like mad, im pissed off because i cant go to sleep and then birds are coming out and chirping.

all in all, i had a rough sunday morning.

Nice... I need to come up there and visit your college. lol