commitment problems

Ive got problems that im gonna bitch about. I have commitment problems. I didnt really realize this until about a month ago when my buddy told me he was getting married. I had one relationship that lasted a few years but aside from that I just get scared and break things off with any girl I date as soon as she starts to really care about me. It wouldnt be so bad if it was just the type of girls where Im in it for the sex. But there have been a few girls who I could actually see being with for a long period of time, I just freak out. And Im not even nice about the breaking up thing. I have found the best way to get rid of them and not have them trying to come back to me is to just be an asshole and have them break up with me.

All of this wouldnt make me feel that bad except for this girl I have been dating for a little while. She is an old friend from high school and when we got together again we just clicked. Everything has been perfect, better than perfect. I actually like this girl but shes pretty serious about us. Im trying not to freak out and mess things up for us. I still actually look forward to seeing her but then theres the side of me who says "run, shes getting attached". Oh well I guess ill try to keep things good with her I just figured id bitch.

commitment problem? i can tell by your sig that you do. and i can tell by your bitchin' that you want a change... can anyone say "college teen movie"?

You'll work it out, and if you feel the way you say you do, you'll probably come to the right conclusion. If you're 40 years old getting drunk in a bar still hanging on to that genius but immature saying in your sig, then you know you've made the wrong decision.

basically, i think you're coming to realise its time to grow up and stop running away, time to embrace the rest of your life.

Just accept your relationship for what it is, and when you stop enjoying yourself and having fun together, it's time to break up. It sounds like there's a lot of reasons to stay together this time.

im in the same boat, everytime a girl starts talking about kids, marriage, or even being my girlfriend, i start blowin em off. its like im saying"the closer u get to me, the farther im gonna push u away... this only started about 1 1/2 years ago after a bad break-up. im 27 and dont have much time to wait!!

The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem :p

But reaqlly it is... I used to be just like that. Chased off at least 3 quality girlfriends. That was high school though and I suppose I've done a lot of growing up during college.

well then....hi, my name is chris, and im a anti"date"aholic......

I'm pretty much in agreement with the majority of what has been said to this point. I have some friends who are in the same or have been in the same situation as you are and it's really nothing to be ashamed of. It's not that you're a bad guy for not wanting a committment, it just seems that you haven't found yourself at a point in your life that you're ready to be tied down, which is understandable. Like Vinny said, it seems as though you're coming to that point in your life where you're realizing that "maybe it wouldn't be so bad to stick around for a while." And it's ok to be afraid of that too, because it's something entirely different than what you're used to. I think if you continue this relationship with this girl--because it sounds like you really do like her and that you wouldn't mind it going on longer--you'll learn a lot about yourself and a lot about what you would want from a long-term relationship should you end up not staying with this girl. Am I making sense?

Anyway, best of luck with what you're going through and remember, you're not the only one:smile:.

I have commitment problems, but not quite on the same level as yours, I've been with a girl for a while now (thats a while as in years not weeks or months) and we live together but I avoid the idea of marriage like it's the plague. The truth is we might as well be married, she doesn't talk about it that much but I know she wants it, I just seem to have this switch in my head that just starts yelling no at me when marriage is mentioed or thought of :lol:, I'll come round to it eventually I think.