The Purina Diet

I have a Golden retriever & I was buying a large bag of Purina at
Wal-Mart and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had
a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet
again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last
time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive
care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way
that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and
simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story,
particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that
condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because
I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing
so hard as he staggered out the door.