baked beans...

I got a chuckle out of this because it probably actually happened to some poor woman...
One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became apparent that
we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.

Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work.
Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told him that I would
be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and
the odor of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I
figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I
stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of
baked beans. All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.

Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see! me and exclaimed
delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight."
He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat
and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. He made me
promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the
call.

The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was
becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the
opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud,
but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a
pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me
vigorously.
Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse
than cooked cabbage.
Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on
like this for another few minutes.

The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells
signaled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with
my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very
relieved and pleased with myself.

My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned,
apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peeked through the
blindfold, and I assured him I had not.

At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around
the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"



I fainted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:lol:

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: Now that is hilarious!!! Blinfold comes off and she sees 12 people sitting around her well she was sitting there and lettings them rip one after another. :lol:

:iceslolan :grinyes: :iceslolan :grinyes: Reminds me of this commercial....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eeh2GISOOBI

I actually LOLed.

LOL, now that is FUNNY!!!

:rofl: thanks Tonio!













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HaHa...I could see that happening.

That was great. I was expecting the husband to come back and smell the air and blame his wife for peeking or something else, OR he made her a dinner with more baked beans. Totally did not expect the ending.

That was great. I was expecting the husband to come back and smell the air and blame his wife for peeking or something else, OR he made her a dinner with more baked beans. Totally did not expect the ending.

same here, i thought it was that he'd made dinner with baked beans.

good joke, sure made me laugh. that just has to be true...

Beans, beans, beans
Jessie had some beans
He was happy, happy, happy
And he ate some beans

Naked, naked, naked
Sitting cross-legged
Naked, naked, naked
And he was happy, happy, happy
And he ate some beans

Wine, wine, wine
Jessie had some wine
He was happy, happy, happy
And he ate some wine

Beans, beans, beans
Daddy ate some beans
And he drank some wine
And he was happy, happy, happy
As he drank some beans
(http://www.automotiveforums.com/vbulletin/)

Beans, beans, beans
Jessie had some beans
He was happy, happy, happy
And he ate some beans

Naked, naked, naked
Sitting cross-legged
Naked, naked, naked
And he was happy, happy, happy
And he ate some beans

Wine, wine, wine
Jessie had some wine
He was happy, happy, happy
And he ate some wine

Beans, beans, beans
Daddy ate some beans
And he drank some wine
And he was happy, happy, happy
As he drank some beans
(http://www.automotiveforums.com/vbulletin/)

Sorry, Kid. that's a fail.

No its a song from Nirvana, this joke just made me think about it..................... Now I can't get the song outa my head ARGGHGGHGG beans beans beans............

Thats great!

good one

ROFL! :rofl: