Girls are hard to read sometimes...

In 3rd grade I knew this girl. I had a huge crush on her. We car-pooled every day and we lived in the same neighborhood. Fast forward to today....My parents bought a house in North Carolina. The girl has had a house here for like 15 years with her parents. I had no idea about this because I haven't seen her in like 15 years. Now, we are both up here, I just saw her for the first time 2 days ago since the 3rd grade. This girl is adorable. I think I am automatically in the friend zone because our parents are all very close and all. Personally I don't think I have a chance with her, but I don't know. I don't have a crush on her now, but I do think she is extremely cute. Then again, if anything did happen I think it would be kind of weird in a way...but i would very much like it to happen "whatever it might be". Like tonight, we had dinner with our parents, I gave her mom a hug and what not good bye, and it came to the daughter. We both looked at each other and said calmly, "bye, have a good night." After that, I had a vibe that we both wanted to hug good-night but it just didn't happen...it was kind of like a moment thing. I just don't know.

-Chris

"sometimes" ??

don't get into a relationship because you think someone's cute. that's superficial. be in a relationship with someone when you love them (and they love you.)

simple as that, to me anyway.

Toksin-Thats great. As for the cute comment. I meant cute as all around. Cute doesn't always mean "looks". Shes an all around cute girl I think. Thats all. I have gone out with girls because I thought they were "hot". Not a great idea at all.

-Chris

meh, go for it man, better to try for it and fail than to regret not at least trying.

15 years is a long time. My ex and I broke up 6 years ago. We were became friends, then we split apart completely. Didnt see each other for four years. When we saw each other again we almost got back together. Our parents were good friends, and still are today.

What I'm saying is people change over time. You may have a chance. Just because your parents are friends doesnt make it awkward.

I can understand how this would be a confusing situation as I myself have encountered a situation similar to this.

My best advice to you would be not to let the relationship you had in the past dictate the relationship you may have right now and maybe longer (friendship, dating, whatever) because it's the past. Don't let the relationship your parents and her parents have dictate how your relationship with this girl goes, because that's their relationship. Do you get what I'm trying to say?

Anyway, if you think the girl is cute and would like to get to know her more, ask her to do something with you (movie,putt-putt, picinic, etc.) and go from there. This will show her you'd be interested in being more than friends but don't want to jump right out and say "hey, we need to be boyfriend and girlfriend." Or at least that's my take on it.

Anyway, best of luck to you man. And one more thing, just believe in yourself, because no matter what you do one way or the other here, if you don't believe in yourself, she'll notice it. You have to believe in yourself before she will believe in you.

good advice, and definately have a plan of attack. im in a wierd situation like that now, and we've hung out so many times, and had so many awkward moments that i believe hooking up now is out of the question. ask her out, and if she says yes, b sure to kiss her or hold her hand, or whatever it takes to let her know u dont wanna b in the "friend zone"

Well, she asked me if I wanted to go white-water-rafting. I was like, "Yeah!". We are suppost to go on wednesday. Last night she came over with her family. We had a discussion about dating and such. I made some colorful comments that made her laugh, quite a bit. She told me I was very funny. Last night could of been the break I needed to "soften up to her". I felt so comfortable around her. She also insisted sitting next to me at dinner. I am not so sure how significant that it, but it must be a plus. What is your guys/gals take on this?


-Chris

sounds promising, but i just went on a canoe trip with a few people and was miserable. might b a ruff first date! if u do a one day excurion you should b fine. those are fun. just dont make it a three day camping "lord of the flies" style trip like i just went on!haha

Haha.....No, just 1 day. She is making the reservations. I'm not sure if this is considered a "date" per say. We will see. But you see, I don't know how to go about asking if she does in fact have any interest in me. We also might be going on a hike tomorrow. She also seemed to be impressed with my photography/photoshop skills. I don't know how that would play into anything. Everything just seems so right. I am still very lost. I really like this girl, and after last nights festivities, I am comfortable around her. Before I was extremely nervous around her, because it has been such a long time since I have seen her. I am thinking maybe last night broke the ice between us, at least I think so. Thoughts?

-Chris

Just hang out with her and see how things go, if it starts to look like it might be getting more serious, just ask her "so what's gonna happen with us?"

Worked for me.

err, for 5 months anyway :p

Toksin- What are the signs of "getting more serious?" When I don't see her, we talk online most of the time. I have a feeling now, if I ask her that...she will look at me like I have 3 heads!

-Chris

simple answer to this: try it out. Just ask her if you could take her to a dinner and a movie. don't ask if she wants to, ask her if you could take her. if yes, its a date. work on it from there, see if you build up anything, if you see urself going out with her more often, if you see urself getting closer. If she says no, just be cool, and keep being friendly, and don't get too dissappointed... afterall, you did say you don't have a crush on her now.
goodluck.

Thats a great idea! I'll ask her if I could take her out when we go rafting. When would be the best time to pop the question? This is the last week we will both be here. Then we both go back to school. We go to different schools, both in Florida though. I think if we both develope feelings for each other, it won't matter.....its not like shes going to California or anything. We will see.

-Chris

Well, the best time (in my opinion) would be at a high point in converstion, as a transition to a new topic, which means like, when you are both laughing at something and the topic seems to come to an end, give a brief pause and articulate the question.

Also, you may want to be weary being as the two of you are going back to school in a week. I can't be certain as I don't know the girl but a lot of times, if a girl is single heading back to school, she won't really be looking for anything before she heads back anyway, make sense? Just thought I would throw that out there as a heads up.

Should I leave the decision of what to do up to her? Or should I make a recommendation? This is because we are in NC. Theres a lot more to do than go to a movie...dinner could be great, but theres more "nature-like" activities to do here in the mountains. She did tell me, "we could go to the movies anywhere!" I did ask her to the movies over AIM earlier last week. So that might be out of the question.

-Chris

well i'd suggest dinner and something that you think you'd both like. dinner seems to suggest something more serious. i'm assuming you don't go to school so i'd suggest getting this done as soon as possible since your chance might be gone once school starts, plus she might be with someone else next summer.

My suggestion: Ask her after you're done with the rafting. If you ask in the beginning and she turns you down, things will likely become awkward for both of you for the trip.

Well, guys...here I go! ahahaha...ha! lol, Todays the day! Yeah, I might have to put a hold on the "ask to dinner". I'm gonna go with the, "we should definently do something together before we leave" technique. Its less personal, and I MOST likely get a yes. Plus, its not thst I don't have a chance, she is going back to school at the beginning of next week, so am i. With that said, being good friends won't be so bad. I won't be chained down to one girl while going back to school. I'll continue to keep my options open and see what happens. Who knows, today may go amazing, which I hope it does! Wish me luck!

-Chris

good luck

good luck, hope it goes better than last time i really liked a girl.

Well, guys/gals...I am back from my little adventure. It went very well, we both had a lot of fun. The rapids were kinda lame, but still a very neat sight and everything.

Now, on to what everyone, or at least the 5 or 6 of you have been chomping at the bit about......drum roll please!!!!..........Well, nothing happened. TADA! You know....I didn't ask her out again because I was getting the whole "friend vibe", which isn't a bad thing. I do like her, but I am not going to beat myself up about it. It may take time to get over the fact that she calls me Christopher....everyone calls me "Chris", just thought that was the cutest thing. Honestly, I wasn't really feeling it between us. So, thats it. I'm gonna assume the fetal position and cry a little.

-Chris

Well, guys/gals...I am back from my little adventure. It went very well, we both had a lot of fun. The rapids were kinda lame, but still a very neat sight and everything.

Now, on to what everyone, or at least the 5 or 6 of you have been chomping at the bit about......drum roll please!!!!..........Well, nothing happened. TADA! You know....I didn't ask her out again because I was getting the whole "friend vibe", which isn't a bad thing. I do like her, but I am not going to beat myself up about it. It may take time to get over the fact that she calls me Christopher....everyone calls me "Chris", just thought that was the cutest thing. Honestly, I wasn't really feeling it between us. So, thats it. I'm gonna assume the fetal position and cry a little.

-Chris

Well at first I wanted to come down on you because you just didn't go for it. Then you said this though, "I wasn't really feeling it between us." If that's the case, it's probably the best thing. What good is a relationship if there is no chemistry in it between the two people involved?

^Exactly! We can still have a great friendship. Its better than not being friends at all. Plus, I'm kinda happy I did't say anything, because it would of just been weird.

-Chris

Plus, I'm kinda happy I did't say anything, because it would of just been weird.

-Chris

Ask to see her boobs. If you look at them and still feel nothing, no weirdness or such, then yeah you did the right thing.

Funny you should say that about the boobs! hahaha! She wore a white shirt and a white training bra today during the rafting trip. She did in fact ask me if I could see anything through her shirt. I was like,"let me take a look." I mean, she gave me an invitation to look at her boobs! I looked, and well, I told her,"Nope, looks good to me." Nothing felt though, honestly..and it wasn't weird. I was kinda shocked she asked me to look actually!

-Chris

Question: How old are you?

I'm 22. I will be 23 in September.

-Chria

And you still need dating advice?

I am 21 and still do. But I am in a different boat as he. Cowboys + Suburbia Hell, NY= cant count number of dates i've been on with one hand.

And you still need dating advice?

And she's wearing a training bra?



Evan, you're just a fish out of water :p

You're a cowboy in New York... (poor paraphrasing of The Police's "Englishman in New York"....

As straight six said..relationships are baed on love and not looks, im'a girl and we are extremly hard to read...every second, dont worry =P she'll become a little more transparent soon

Honestly guys/gal....It doesn't really matter to me anymore at this point. There's always going to be another girl I am interested in. And Toksin, I meant to say sports bra, my bad! lol

-Chris

she'll become a little more transparent soon

Nope, she probably won't.

Girls fucking suck! That is all.

-Chris

Girls fucking suck! That is all.

-Chris

Alot have been known to, yes. but what happens in the bedroom/kitchen/whorehouse, stays in the bedroom/kitchen/whorehouse.

Girls fucking suck! That is all.

-Chris

then maybe a man is better suited to your needs.

^ Haha, yyyyyeah....about that... Apparently I didn't show this girl I liked her enough. She tells me that she had no idea that I liked her. I could not beleive this! I would spend every second with the girl if I could! SO......tonight, she tells me she went out to a movie with the fucking guide from our rafting trip!!! I was like, holy shit..in my head. This was after I asked her out to go places multiple times. So tonight, I spilled everything. I told her I liked her...and blah blah. So yeah...I'm having my shoe laces provoked for a very long time. I'll get over it. It's just that I have never been in that kind of situation before..and it sucks! It makes me think, it really does.

-Chris

Having your shoelaces provoked?

What the hell does that mean?

And what does it make you think about?

if you get feelings like this, don't "spill" it out. yes, sure, its moral and from the heart, but, also overwhelming. no girl wants to hear all this from a guy she has no relationship with! if you feel this way, the most you can do is take initiative yourself to let her know little by little that you care about her. Show to her that you've got qualities she might like. you have to make it clear you want to go out on a date, and when there, play it cool and be yourself... "Spilling things out" usually never has very good results, except for getting it off your chest.

if you get feelings like this, don't "spill" it out. yes, sure, its moral and from the heart, but, also overwhelming. no girl wants to hear all this from a guy she has no relationship with! if you feel this way, the most you can do is take initiative yourself to let her know little by little that you care about her. Show to her that you've got qualities she might like. you have to make it clear you want to go out on a date, and when there, play it cool and be yourself... "Spilling things out" usually never has very good results, except for getting it off your chest.
I think they have had a friendship. Not sure if he should have spilled all the beans just some of them.

Toksin- The shoe laces thing..Its an evil evil joke. I'll explain when your a litle older.

Vinny- I found when she told me the events she did with the other guy almost like a window of opportunity to let her know how I really feel about her. There wasn't a whole lot to say. I told her she hurt me on a friend/friend level and that I liked her.

wickedNYcowboy- Yeah, we go back quite a ways. I have only spoken to her a few times before we actually met again in North Carolina for the first time in 15 years. There wasn't a lot of beans to be spilled.

-Chris

Toksin- The shoe laces thing..Its an evil evil joke. I'll explain when your a litle older.


.....uh huhhhh...

.....uh huhhhh...
I was just about to say "Dave...aren't you 22?"