Say what ya mean!!!!!!!!
ragt20
08-15-2002, 05:15 PM
I think you'll like these :D
Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints by QUANTAS pilots and the corrective action recorded by mechanics. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident (so I am told).
P stands for the Problem the pilots entered in the log
S stands for the Corrective Action taken by the mechanics.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on backorder.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
P: Suspect crack in windscreen.
S: Suspect you're right.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
P: Radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed radar with words.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed
:hehehe: :hehehe::hehehe: :hehehe:
Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints by QUANTAS pilots and the corrective action recorded by mechanics. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident (so I am told).
P stands for the Problem the pilots entered in the log
S stands for the Corrective Action taken by the mechanics.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on backorder.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
P: Suspect crack in windscreen.
S: Suspect you're right.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
P: Radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed radar with words.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed
:hehehe: :hehehe::hehehe: :hehehe:
Spec2 Girl
08-15-2002, 05:28 PM
hahaha, they're great! :hehehe: :p
taranaki
08-15-2002, 05:37 PM
Bloody engineers!:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:
:sun: :sun: :sun: :sun:
:sun: :sun: :sun: :sun:
darkness
08-15-2002, 05:38 PM
ROFLMAO:hehehe:
and it is true that Quantas is the only one with no accidents.
and it is true that Quantas is the only one with no accidents.
tazdev
08-16-2002, 01:59 AM
Originally posted by ragt20
I think you'll like these :D
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
:hehehe: :hehehe::hehehe: :hehehe:
these two have to be my alltime favorites:p
I think you'll like these :D
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
:hehehe: :hehehe::hehehe: :hehehe:
these two have to be my alltime favorites:p
Ssom
08-16-2002, 07:53 AM
Originally posted by tazdev
theae two have to be my alltime favorites:p
I am going to agree with you here, they sound awfully Kiwi-like :bloated: :finger:
theae two have to be my alltime favorites:p
I am going to agree with you here, they sound awfully Kiwi-like :bloated: :finger:
Judge
08-16-2002, 07:57 AM
Originally posted by ragt20
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious :
:D
theyre all great!
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious :
:D
theyre all great!
Ssom
08-16-2002, 08:28 AM
Originally posted by Judge
:D
theyre all great!
:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: Judge has fixed his spacebar!!!!!!!!! :eek:
:D
theyre all great!
:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: Judge has fixed his spacebar!!!!!!!!! :eek:
DVSNCYNIKL
08-16-2002, 08:44 AM
You mean to tell me I went and got a degree for nothing.:huh: :bloated:
Damien
08-16-2002, 10:16 AM
Originally posted by Moss1O6GTi
:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: Judge has fixed his spacebar!!!!!!!!! :eek:
Perhaps? I'm not falling for it again though!
:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: Judge has fixed his spacebar!!!!!!!!! :eek:
Perhaps? I'm not falling for it again though!
YogsVR4
08-16-2002, 11:25 AM
Those are a riot! :D
ragt20
08-16-2002, 05:34 PM
Originally posted by DVSNCYNIKL
You mean to tell me I went and got a degree for nothing.:huh: :bloated:
looks like it :p :huh: :hehe: all that time you could have spent doin something else :hehe: and still do what ya do now :D
You mean to tell me I went and got a degree for nothing.:huh: :bloated:
looks like it :p :huh: :hehe: all that time you could have spent doin something else :hehe: and still do what ya do now :D
sarujin
08-16-2002, 08:42 PM
Quantas??? If the name is spelt wrong it seems rather suspicous!
Its Qantas= Queensland, australia, northern territorys airline service. or along similar lines.
Yeah but I think qantas has had atleast one accident, as the only airline that had never had one was singapore right up till one took off into a digger last year.
sarujin
Its Qantas= Queensland, australia, northern territorys airline service. or along similar lines.
Yeah but I think qantas has had atleast one accident, as the only airline that had never had one was singapore right up till one took off into a digger last year.
sarujin
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