job hunting.......no....wait.......now it's PIERCINGS!...and 'stickmen', the movie!

I've had enough of cheese:devil:

Too bad the job market is full of bullshit like this.........


DOUBLE-SPEAK IN VACANCY ADVERTISEMENTS!


§ "JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY": (translation)
We have no time to train you; you'll have to introduce yourself to your co-workers.
§ "COMPETITIVE SALARY": (translation)
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
§ "SEEKING ENTHUSIASTIC, FUN, HARD WORKING, PEOPLE": (translation)
...who still live with their parents and won't mind our internship-level salaries.
§ "CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE": (translation)
We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up well. A couple of the really daring guys wear earrings.
§ "JOIN OUR DYNAMIC TEAM": (translation)
We all listen to nutty motivational tapes.
§ "MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED": (translation)
You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
§ "SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED": (translation)
Some time each night and some time each weekend.
§ "DUTIES WILL VARY": (translation)
Anyone in the office can boss you around.
§ "MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL": (translation)
We have no quality control.
§ "NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE": (translation)
We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.
§ "PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST": (translation)
You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
§ "REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS": (translation)
You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
§ "GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS": (translation)
Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.
Responses to Want Ads

§ "I'M EXTREMELY ADEPT AT ALL MANNER OF OFFICE ORGANIZATION": (translation)
I've used Microsoft Office©.
§ "MY PERTINENT WORK EXPERIENCE INCLUDES": (translation)
I hope you don't ask me about all the McJobs I've had.
§ "I'M PERSONABLE": (translation)
I give lots of unsolicited advice to co-workers.
§ "I'M EXTREMELY PROFESSIONAL": (translation)
I carry a Day-Timer©.
§ "I AM ADAPTABLE": (translation)
I've changed jobs a lot.
§ "I AM ON THE GO": (translation)
I'm never at my desk.
§ "I'M HIGHLY MOTIVATED TO SUCCEED": (translation)
The minute I find a better job, I'm outta there.
§ "I LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING FROM YOU SOON": (translation)
Like, I'm gonna hold my breath waiting for your form letter thanking me "for my interest, and wishing me luck in my future career."

Hahaha, they're good. There's some similar ones for Real Estate ads. :hehehe:

Originally posted by taranaki
"MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED": (translation)
You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED": (translation)
Some time each night and some time each weekend.
"PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST": (translation)
You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
"REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS": (translation)
You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
"GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS": (translation)
Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.


These seem too familiar.

"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE": (translation)
We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up well. A couple of the really daring guys wear earrings.

And for some reason, this one just proves quite amusing:D

Originally posted by darkness


And for some reason, this one just proves quite amusing:D Are you daring James??? :D

Originally posted by Spec2 Girl
Are you daring James??? :D

I like to think so. You should hear the comments I got at work. Though the parents should prove interesting tonight:D

Originally posted by darkness


I like to think so. You should hear the comments I got at work. Though the parents should prove interesting tonight:D EEK! The parents. :uhoh: Just joking. I'm sure they'll be fine. :)

They were great, I always love the "Juniors wanted; experience required" ones we get over here!!

Originally posted by taranaki

"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE": (translation)
We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up well. A couple of the really daring guys wear earrings.


Hehehe... I must be extremely daring... I've got way more piercings than that...

Originally posted by ci5ic


Hehehe... I must be extremely daring... I've got way more piercings than that...

I'm workin on it:D

=( Sad day today, had to remove my tragus piercing, used to ok to cover it up with a piece of band-aid, so Im left with my nipples and my tat. :(

Originally posted by slave
=( Sad day today, had to remove my tragus piercing, used to ok to cover it up with a piece of band-aid, so Im left with my nipples and my tat. :(

bugger, I got my first on saturday. just the ear, but thinking about the eyebrow too and maybe a tat.

Originally posted by darkness


bugger, I got my first on saturday. just the ear, but thinking about the eyebrow too and maybe a tat.

ah ok, I HAD my navel done, weird for a guy I know but I removed it cause it got annoying. I have a tat in anglo saxon runes below my navel.

LOL... Gotcha all beat!

1 in each ear.
2 in my tongue.
2 madisons (front of my neck)
1 nape (back of my neck)
1 Labret
2 nipples
1 guiche (hehehe... you'll have to look that one up :D )

Originally posted by ci5ic

1 guiche

No way in hell I'd be gettin that one.:apuke:

Originally posted by ci5ic
LOL... Gotcha all beat!

1 in each ear.
2 in my tongue.
2 madisons (front of my neck)
1 nape (back of my neck)
1 Labret
2 nipples
1 guiche (hehehe... you'll have to look that one up :D ) :eek: Jeez that's a lot of piercings! :eek: I've only got my ears (done twice in each ear) and my navel.

I'm getting my eyebrow done soon. Any tips?

Here's some tips:

Wash it constantly with SOAP! Do NOT use rubbing alcohol!

Also, the eyebrow is considdered a surface piercing, and has a tendency to "grow out" or be rejected. If this happens, get it pierced again, and the scar-tissue from the first piercing will hold it in better. That happened with both my madisons.

have fun...

Guiche????

Reminds of the line from the kiwi movie Stickmen when the heavy pierced Korm is asked by Holden to 'downtrou'...

"Shit! Korm... How do you piss with that?"

Originally posted by replicant_008
Guiche????

Reminds of the line from the kiwi movie Stickmen when the heavy pierced Korm is asked by Holden to 'downtrou'...

"Shit! Korm... How do you piss with that?"

Ooooh....On the topic of Stickmen, a small cinema in South Turin is showing Stickmen (In English) at the mo. It should be a good chance to finally see it :D:D:D:D:D:D

Oh and on the topic of peircing...None :eek:



And Mr T are you REALLY quitting the cheese factory :D

Ahhh, Corporate America. Nice Naki'!

Originally posted by ci5ic



1 guiche

Your nuts?You're nuts!

Bollocks to that idea;)

Well since piercing has been the main topic, what do the one's with tounge piercings think of that? I mean, so say it arouses them more during sex and stuff like that??

Just curious, 'cause I'm never getting anything pierced!!! :eek:

Originally posted by replicant_008
Guiche????

Reminds of the line from the kiwi movie Stickmen when the heavy pierced Korm is asked by Holden to 'downtrou'...

"Shit! Korm... How do you piss with that?"

I think the guys name was actually Crawl, but doesn't matter to much. I did find out that the guy who played that part was actually the set designer:D

HOW TO KEEP AN OT THREAD ON -TOPIC

Change the title.!:flipa:

Originally posted by taranaki
HOW TO KEEP AN OT THREAD ON -TOPIC

Change the title.!:flipa: Do I detect the slightest hint of sarcasm there Mr T??!!! :D

Have to admit you may be right on the character's name... but you get the gist of the quote...

Incidentally, (unsolicited plug here).. Stickmen is now out on DVD I believe - a more recent piece of Kiwiana moviemaking... part of the essential list of 'Kiwi' films to have seen... including...

Goodbye Pork Pie
Smash Palace
The Scarecrow
Came a Hot Friday
Quiet Earth
Rain
Scarfies
Vigil
The Navigator
Once were Warriors

Technically anything by Pete Jackson (deep breath... Bad Taste, Braindead, Meet the Feebles, Jack Brown Genius, Heavenly Creatures, The Frighteners - okay that's marginal and Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring)

And on the fringe list:

Savage Honeymoon
Battletruck
These Savage Islands
Broken English
Never Say Die
The Piano (it was shot here but is it a kiwi movie?)

Just to twist the thread a touch more...

Originally posted by ozriceboy
I'm getting my eyebrow done soon. Any tips?

Make sure you get that one done somewhere reputable, its a piercing you dont wanna fuck up, its too easy to grab and kill nerves in the eyebrow, that aside the decent places will do it no worries mate.

Originally posted by taranaki
HOW TO KEEP AN OT THREAD ON -TOPIC

Change the title.!:flipa:

Now where's the fun of keeping an OT thread on-topic???

That's why it's called COMPLETELY OFF-TOPIC!!! :flipa: :jump:

*Thinks you'll need to change title again soon! :silly:*

Originally posted by taranaki


Your nuts?You're nuts!

Bollocks to that idea;)

Not exactly my nuts... but close enough. It's actually the area of skin just behind the wank-tanks, and in front of the poop-chute. That one took some serious mulling over...

Sorry but thats just nasty. No way in hell would I be going anywhere near one of those.

I know it's a little weird (well... alot weird), but it feels great though! :licker:

Originally posted by darkness


I think the guys name was actually Crawl, but doesn't matter to much. I did find out that the guy who played that part was actually the set designer:D

Your both on the right track but his name was actually Caller


yes I do have the DVD:finger:

Thanks for the clarification...

Incidentally, while on that topic I guess ci5ic has to be exta careful about his hygiene... and when he's riding on a mountain bike... or riding a poma/T-Bar on the ski hill...

Otherwise...:crying: :crying: :crying:

Damn this thread, it made me dream about piercings. I had one on either side of my upper lip and I also got one implanted under my skin on my forearm. :devil:

(I also dreamt that my car was painted the same colours as a GT40!)


:p :hehehe:

I saw a piercing in a book once and I wanted it but apparently to get it to stay its got to be surgically implanted, its a barbell that sits horizontally in the skin above ur navel, not actually in the hole. It was cool, I want one!

Originally posted by slave


Make sure you get that one done somewhere reputable, its a piercing you dont wanna fuck up, its too easy to grab and kill nerves in the eyebrow, that aside the decent places will do it no worries mate.

I'm getting it done at a place in Parramatta that's meant to be good. Considering getting a tat on my ankle at the same time - nice little gothic cross. How much is the eyebrow piercing? How much is a small, black tat?

Originally posted by ci5ic


Not exactly my nuts... but close enough. It's actually the area of skin just behind the wank-tanks, and in front of the poop-chute. That one took some serious mulling over...

:eek: Honestly, who would have even THOUGHT of that?

My boyfriend, back in his wilder days, had:
3 per ear
1 eyebrow
1 chin
3 tongue (don't ask me how, but all at once)
both nipples

He had allowed all to close before I met him, so I've only seen pics.

A co-worker's brother has Jacob's Ladder. That's, uh, multiple horizontal shaft piercings. Haven't seen it myself, this is hearsay.

All I have is one hole per ear. (I'm a wuss.)

BTW, who comes up with the names for these piercings?

Originally posted by slave
I saw a piercing in a book once and I wanted it but apparently to get it to stay its got to be surgically implanted, its a barbell that sits horizontally in the skin above ur navel, not actually in the hole. It was cool, I want one!

That's just a surface piercing. It doesn't need to be surgically done. But you do want to make sure whoever does it has alot of piercing experience. The problem with one like that though, is that the skin in that area is so tight, that it is all but guaranteed to grow out very quickly. If you do get it done, make sure they use a Nylon (or other synthetic) barbell, it's flexible, wich will ease the tension on the skin a little...

I have a total of 5 ear piercings... 2 in each lobe, and one cartilege in my left ear... and one navel ring that is right now a hoop with a little sparklie ball :D It had been a dragonfly barbell-type deal before, but the dragonfly got caught on too much.

I wanted a tongue ring, but there's too much of a threat in damaging my favorite muscle! :eek: :p Well, so I'm joking a bit, but I really did want one until I heard a bunch of nightmare stories...