Deep Thoughts
tazdev
08-03-2002, 07:00 AM
Marriage is like taking a hot bath. After you've been in it for a while, it isn't so hot.
I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and think, 'Well, that's not going to happen.'
While playing a poker game, if you look around the table and can't tell who the sucker is, it's you.
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
I asked Mom if I was a gifted child, she said they certainly wouldn't have paid for me.
Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to.
According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a woman is their eyes. And women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.
Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I've come to realize it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
There's a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for & why, it will instantly disappear and be placed by something even more bizarre & inexplicable. There's another theory, which states this has already happened.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a barbecue?
Doctors can be frustrating. You wait a month-and-a-half for an appointment, and he says, "I wish you'd come in sooner."
You read about all these terrorists, most of them came here legally, but they hang around on these expired visas, some for as long as 10 -15 years. Now, compare that to Blockbuster: you're two days late with a video and these people are all over you. Let's put Blockbuster in charge of immigration!
I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and think, 'Well, that's not going to happen.'
While playing a poker game, if you look around the table and can't tell who the sucker is, it's you.
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
I asked Mom if I was a gifted child, she said they certainly wouldn't have paid for me.
Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to.
According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a woman is their eyes. And women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.
Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I've come to realize it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
There's a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for & why, it will instantly disappear and be placed by something even more bizarre & inexplicable. There's another theory, which states this has already happened.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a barbecue?
Doctors can be frustrating. You wait a month-and-a-half for an appointment, and he says, "I wish you'd come in sooner."
You read about all these terrorists, most of them came here legally, but they hang around on these expired visas, some for as long as 10 -15 years. Now, compare that to Blockbuster: you're two days late with a video and these people are all over you. Let's put Blockbuster in charge of immigration!
taranaki
08-03-2002, 07:33 AM
aaaaaargh! truth hurts! truth hurts! make him stoppit someone!:cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:
Ssom
08-03-2002, 07:47 AM
Originally posted by taranaki
aaaaaargh! truth hurts! truth hurts! make him stoppit someone!:cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:
STOP!!!!:mad:
Still, tazdev....Thanks alot you barstard, now my brain is doing funny things....Like thinking:mad: :mad: :p
aaaaaargh! truth hurts! truth hurts! make him stoppit someone!:cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:
STOP!!!!:mad:
Still, tazdev....Thanks alot you barstard, now my brain is doing funny things....Like thinking:mad: :mad: :p
tazdev
08-03-2002, 08:00 AM
but the thing that confuses me is:
they say "winners never quit" and "quitters never win"
so how come they tell you to "QUIT WHILST YOUR AHEAD":confused:
they say "winners never quit" and "quitters never win"
so how come they tell you to "QUIT WHILST YOUR AHEAD":confused:
primera man
08-03-2002, 08:47 AM
They are so true its almost scary :eek: :eek:
Damien
08-03-2002, 05:50 PM
WOW!!! :eek:
I've heard these like a 1000 times!!! But they are still funny to read!!! :lol2::lol2::lol2:
*Some I haven't seen! :D*
I've heard these like a 1000 times!!! But they are still funny to read!!! :lol2::lol2::lol2:
*Some I haven't seen! :D*
Spec2 Girl
08-04-2002, 05:24 PM
Originally posted by tazdev
Marriage is like taking a hot bath. After you've been in it for a while, it isn't so hot.
Not true! :)
Marriage is like taking a hot bath. After you've been in it for a while, it isn't so hot.
Not true! :)
taranaki
08-04-2002, 05:39 PM
Originally posted by Spec2 Girl
Not true! :)
depends how deep it is, I guess;)
Not true! :)
depends how deep it is, I guess;)
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