will the real dummy please stand up?

1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?

AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package.

Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.

2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:

Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up."

3. WHAT WAS PLAN B???

An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.

4. THE GETAWAY!

A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop, and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

5. DID I SAY THAT???
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a line-up. When detectives asked each man in the line-up to repeat the words: "Give me all your money or I'll shoot," the man shouted, "That's not what I said!"

6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??

A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!"

7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!!

In Modesto, California, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellllllooooooo!)

8. THE GRAND FINALE

Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, California, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22ft. boat going. It was very sluggish in almost every manoeuvre, no matter how much power was applied.

After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted to a nearby marina, thinking someone there could tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the out drive went up and down, and the prop was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.

NOW REMEMBER...

THIS IS TRUE ...

Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer.

:hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe:

Doh! :hehehe: :p

And I thought people here were stupid.

Now Moss has something to back himself up on! :finger::finger::finger:

:D :p

Originally posted by Damien
Now Moss has something to back himself up on! :finger::finger::finger:

:D :p OUCH!!! :hehehe: :hehehe: :p

My favourite is that would-be bank robber. :D Did he make a "bang bang" noise too, do you think???? :p

:huh: :bloated:

Moondog! Where have you been? I've almost caught up to you in posts! :eek2:

Spec2: Thank you very much! :D:D:D

busy busy busy at work. Not much time :(

I wonder how it would be possible for a trailer to be on securley and not see it from in the boat. The crank itself is higher then the bow. If its true then we can credit the marina guys with equal stupidity for not seeing that either.

Originally posted by Damien
Now Moss has something to back himself up on! :finger::finger::finger:

:D :p

What?????? You??? :finger: :finger: :finger:

all class Ragt.:D

Originally posted by Damien
Moondog! Where have you been? I've almost caught up to you in posts! :eek2:

Spec2: Thank you very much! :D:D:D It's not all about quantity Damien...:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

and yes...I do post a lot,but if you check my profile,I've started a good few threads as well.:flipa:

While we are on the subject of stupidity....did any other Kiwi see the news item in Tuesday's papers?During a police Armed Offenders' Squad simulation exercise,the officer playing the 'offender' accidentally got shot in the leg.....:silly2: :silly2: :silly2: :silly2: :silly2: :silly2:

why does that not suprise me:rolleyes:

haha lol those r so hilarious:):):D:D:hehehe:

I don't believe the one about the boat. In my experience, boats are rarely ever secured to the trailer by anything other than the rope or cable at the bow. This leads me to believe that the trailer would be hanging down perpindicular to the boat from the bow. If this were the case, it's most likely that the entire boat would be tipped upwards at an extremely noticeable angle, maybe even enough to pull the prop out of the water. Plus, I just refuse to believe that anyone from the human race could possibly be that stupid.

Originally posted by taranaki
It's not all about quantity Damien...:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

and yes...I do post a lot,but if you check my profile,I've started a good few threads as well.:flipa:

While we are on the subject of stupidity....did any other Kiwi see the news item in Tuesday's papers?During a police Armed Offenders' Squad simulation exercise,the officer playing the 'offender' accidentally got shot in the leg.....:silly2: :silly2: :silly2: :silly2: :silly2: :silly2:

If I were that officer, I think I would have shot the guy back... I mean, it's just a flesh wound. *Stops, looks down.* "What the hell Steven, you just shot me!" *Bang!* In the leg of course :D

Well not really, but it's funny to think about ;)