Taranaki has a turn.....
taranaki
07-30-2002, 09:29 AM
MY turn to be the joker.....
After a long night of intimacy, a young guy rolled over and was looking around when he noticed a framed picture of another man. The guy began to worry. "Is this your husband?" "No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him. "Your boyfriend then?" he asked. "No, not at all," she said, nibbling away at his ear. "Well, who is he then?" asked the bewildered guy. The girl replied, "That's me before the surgery."
:eek:
A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00. "Why so little," she asked the pet storeowner. The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of prostitution, and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff."
The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird anyway. She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something. The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, "New house, new madam." The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought "that's not so bad."
When her two teenage daughters returned from school the bird saw them and said, "New house, new madam, new girls." The girls and the woman were a bit offended but then began to laugh about the situation. Moments later, the woman's husband, Keith, came home from work. The bird looked at him and said, "Hi Warren."
:silly2:
"My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects."
"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet. "
:(
WHY ARE SOME HAIRS WHITE?
One day, a little girl is sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly notices that her mother has several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her brunette hair. She looks at her mother and inquisitively asks, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mum?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that a little girl does something wrong and makes her mommy cry or makes her unhappy, one of her hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and said: "You must have really pissed off Grandma."
:p
A fire fighter is working on the engine outside the station when he notices a little girl next door in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the side and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. The girl is wearing a fire fighter's helmet and has the wagon tied to a dog and cat. The fire fighter walks over to take a closer look. "That sure is a nice fire truck," the fire fighter says with admiration. Thanks," the girl says. The fire fighter looks a little closer and notices the girl has tied the wagon to the dog's collar and to the cat's testicles. "Little Partner," the fire fighter says, "I don't want to tell you how to run your fire truck, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster." The little girl replied, "You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have siren."
:eek2:
have a happy day,folks!:D :D :D
After a long night of intimacy, a young guy rolled over and was looking around when he noticed a framed picture of another man. The guy began to worry. "Is this your husband?" "No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him. "Your boyfriend then?" he asked. "No, not at all," she said, nibbling away at his ear. "Well, who is he then?" asked the bewildered guy. The girl replied, "That's me before the surgery."
:eek:
A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00. "Why so little," she asked the pet storeowner. The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of prostitution, and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff."
The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird anyway. She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something. The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, "New house, new madam." The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought "that's not so bad."
When her two teenage daughters returned from school the bird saw them and said, "New house, new madam, new girls." The girls and the woman were a bit offended but then began to laugh about the situation. Moments later, the woman's husband, Keith, came home from work. The bird looked at him and said, "Hi Warren."
:silly2:
"My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects."
"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet. "
:(
WHY ARE SOME HAIRS WHITE?
One day, a little girl is sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly notices that her mother has several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her brunette hair. She looks at her mother and inquisitively asks, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mum?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that a little girl does something wrong and makes her mommy cry or makes her unhappy, one of her hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and said: "You must have really pissed off Grandma."
:p
A fire fighter is working on the engine outside the station when he notices a little girl next door in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the side and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. The girl is wearing a fire fighter's helmet and has the wagon tied to a dog and cat. The fire fighter walks over to take a closer look. "That sure is a nice fire truck," the fire fighter says with admiration. Thanks," the girl says. The fire fighter looks a little closer and notices the girl has tied the wagon to the dog's collar and to the cat's testicles. "Little Partner," the fire fighter says, "I don't want to tell you how to run your fire truck, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster." The little girl replied, "You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have siren."
:eek2:
have a happy day,folks!:D :D :D
Spunkymonkey
07-30-2002, 10:22 AM
I especially like the last one :p
heard a couple before, but they're funny.
heard a couple before, but they're funny.
Damien
07-30-2002, 11:15 AM
Heard the second to last but.............
WAY TO GO MR. T!!! :lol2::lol2::lol2:
WAY TO GO MR. T!!! :lol2::lol2::lol2:
YogsVR4
07-30-2002, 12:04 PM
Nice :D :D :D
primera man
07-30-2002, 01:03 PM
very good old man !!:finger: :finger: :finger:
ragt20
07-30-2002, 04:38 PM
some good stuff there old chap :D
Spec2 Girl
07-30-2002, 05:23 PM
Not bad Mr T! :hehehe: :D
Ssom
07-31-2002, 02:55 AM
ROFL:silly2: :silly2: :silly2: :silly2: :silly2: :silly2: :silly2: :silly2:
Very nice.........:D Perhaps its my turn to play the joker....(I'm well armed) :finger: :D
Very nice.........:D Perhaps its my turn to play the joker....(I'm well armed) :finger: :D
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