Ask The Doctor !!
ragt20
07-29-2002, 06:20 PM
Ask The Doctor
A woman pregnant with her first child paid a visit to her obstetrician's office. After the exam, she shyly said, ''My husband wants me to ask you...,'' to which the doctor replies, ''I know, I know,'' placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. ''I get asked that all the time. Sex is fine until late in the pregnancy.''
''No, that's not it,'' the woman confessed. ''He wants to know if I can still mow the lawn.''
Actual Medical Chart Notes
*Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
*Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
*On the second day, the knee was better, and then on the third day it disappeared.
*The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
*Discharge status: Alive, but without my permission.
*Healthy-appearing decrepit, 69-year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
*The patient refused autopsy.
*The patient has no previous history of suicides.
*Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
*Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40-pound weight gain in the last three days.
*She is numb from her toes down.
*Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
*I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
*Skin: somewhat pale but present.
*The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
A brief History of medicine....
I have an earache.
2000 B.C. - Here, eat this root.
1000 A.D. - That root is heathen, say this prayer.
1850 A.D. - That prayer is superstition, drink this potion.
1940 A.D. - That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill.
1985 A.D. - That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic.
2000 A.D. - That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root.
A woman pregnant with her first child paid a visit to her obstetrician's office. After the exam, she shyly said, ''My husband wants me to ask you...,'' to which the doctor replies, ''I know, I know,'' placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. ''I get asked that all the time. Sex is fine until late in the pregnancy.''
''No, that's not it,'' the woman confessed. ''He wants to know if I can still mow the lawn.''
Actual Medical Chart Notes
*Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
*Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
*On the second day, the knee was better, and then on the third day it disappeared.
*The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
*Discharge status: Alive, but without my permission.
*Healthy-appearing decrepit, 69-year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
*The patient refused autopsy.
*The patient has no previous history of suicides.
*Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
*Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40-pound weight gain in the last three days.
*She is numb from her toes down.
*Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
*I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
*Skin: somewhat pale but present.
*The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
A brief History of medicine....
I have an earache.
2000 B.C. - Here, eat this root.
1000 A.D. - That root is heathen, say this prayer.
1850 A.D. - That prayer is superstition, drink this potion.
1940 A.D. - That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill.
1985 A.D. - That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic.
2000 A.D. - That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root.
Damien
07-29-2002, 06:31 PM
And Ragt20 is still puttin out the good stuff!!! :lol2::lol2::lol2:
Spec2 Girl
07-29-2002, 06:43 PM
Hehe very funny. :hehehe: Love those medical notes! :p
primera man
07-29-2002, 09:00 PM
I liked the last ones...very good
YogsVR4
07-31-2002, 11:18 PM
more more more !!
speediva
07-31-2002, 11:46 PM
Why can I see all of those actually happening??? :p
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