Me=Problem talking to girls

I got a job at a day camp as a counselor for the summer. There are so many hot girls who work there. I just have a problem talking to them. I have no idea what it is. Most girls think guys just want in their pants, and thats it. I guess maybe its the rejection? I don't know. Any serious tips people? I would appreciate it.


-Chris

No matter what anybody else says in this thread, be yourself. Kinda frustrating being somebody your not.

Do NOT put hot girls on a pedestal. Always put yourself above the girl. Be confident and outgoing and completely non-phased by whatever reaction you get.

Do not talk about yourself any more than giving little tidbits of info out at a time, ie. a teaser to get them interested in finding out more.

i agree, just be yourself. a girl who doesn't like who you are isn't worth being with anyways. just start out small too, you don't have to blow her away and wow her with your first conversation. show her what a nice, cool guy you are and trust me, she'll definetely want to talk to you more. and just like oz said, don't put us ladies up on a pedestal. as amazing as we are, it'll only make us seem less attainable, which is not what you want. try thinking of a few things you could say to them beforehand, that way you feel a little more prepared. maybe even practice saying it on ur way to work to get the jitters out. w/e works for you. so go get'em tiger :thumbsup:

Girls aren't that scary, they're just normal people. Just talk to them like normal people. Ozzie's right on the money.

Well... if it was for the summer only around women whom you prob. never see again, i say..Damn, your lucky....

Well... if it was for the summer only around women whom you prob. never see again, i say..Damn, your lucky....

I agree odds are your going to find one girl you can get along with more then the rest the key is to talk to them all:)

if you need an ice breaker, and it sort of sounds like you do, just talk about your jobs. you and the girls obviously like doing it, well maybe you don't, but either way you are all doing the same job. talk about the kids whatever, it will eventually blossom into something better

Look them in the eye while talking to them. There's enough people looking them in the chest. Not only will they appreciate it, but you'll be less distracted by their assets.

Thanks for the insightful information guys/gals! Yea, the icebreaker is the tough part for me, I'm sure I can overcome that. Maybe it will be easier when work actually starts up. And I'll stop putting the pussy up on the pedistal...lol

-Chris

I'll stop putting the pussy up on the pedistal...lol


that's exactly what i thought of when i first read this also, lol. someone mentioned looking them in the eye. this is so true. partly because everyone looks at their chests but i also think that in today's and age not enough people look each other in the eye. i've been talking to girls that look away from me when i talk to them because i look them in the eye. it's all about eye contact, even if you are going to initiate something look them in the eye. i feel that if you have eye contact then you can make something a little more because it shows that they are somewhat interested in you, especially when it comes to first impressions.

as far as ice breakers. even if you don't have the lengthiest conversation you can just start by sayin Hey or What's Up or something like. not only will help you break the ice but it will also get them to notice you the more you say stuff to them. this way you don't look like a COMPLETE fool when you just start talking to them out of the blue after a few weeks.

Ok cool. Yeah, I guess it would be weird if I just started tallking to her like weeks into the program. My goal tomorrow, is to just say, "hey, whats up?"

I forgot to mention this before. I don't know how significant it is but. The first day, the girl I found attractive, kept looking back at me (I think)...Well, she had wandering eyes in my direction. Next, she was walking out of the bookstore at school with 2 of her friends...I, as a gentleman, held the door for them, and she was the only one to say thank you...I dunno if it was just me, but it kinda sounded different, I don't know. I, in turned said your welcome. So, thats where I am right now.

-Chris

just keep doin what you're doin. it is different for all people and i'm sure others will tell you differently. but for me, i can tell when someone is interested by the kind of eye contact. they may be wondering, but if she keeps on looking at you then there is probably some sort of interest there.

when i say interest though, it does not necessarily mean a romantic, intimate, whatever you want to call it. i simply mean that they want to get to know you more. that's when you start the conversations.

maybe a nice ground breaker would be something like if you two are having lunch (i have no clue how summer camp works cause i never went) but you could start talking and come up wit some BS like "man this is tiring, making sure these kids are having fun" if you are split into groups and stuff ask her about her group is doing and if she has ever done work like this before.

some people say don't act like a gentleman, act like a dick. for some reason girls like this, but i always hold the door and stuff like that. i don't go to the extremems of putting their napkin on their lap at dinner or some crazy stuff like that. but it's just polite to hold the door, or open it for them. just keep doin what you're doin

its not that girls like assholes. ok well some do but personally i think they're weird. it's that those guys appear to us as strong, masculine, confident, outgoing and know what they want. those are very attractive characteristics so girls tend to gravitate towards guys like that. as far as bad boys go, girls love to have a wild good time and those boys help us bring that side of ourselves out. i <3 my bad boy.

what i'm saying is, be a gentleman. i remember one guy opened the car door for me once and i was shocked. there are so few guys that still have those gentlemanly manners and that's too bad :( so be assertive and try and be confident but not an outright dickhead to her.

Oh GOD guys, the ice breaker is SO FRIGGING EASY - compliment them!

"Wow, have you had a new haircut recently? It looks great"

"That blue shirt really suits you"

Etc. Trust me, compliments will get you everywhere. Just don't sound fake and cheesy when delivering them. And make sure you SMILE.

I have absolutely no advice other than what was already given.

Be yourself. That's it.

And not all girls like strong, confident, talkative guys. The first thing that always gets my attention is when a guy is quiet.

Oh GOD guys, the ice breaker is SO FRIGGING EASY - compliment them!

"Wow, have you had a new haircut recently? It looks great"

"That blue shirt really suits you"

Etc. Trust me, compliments will get you everywhere. Just don't sound fake and cheesy when delivering them. And make sure you SMILE.

Listen to this man! Women love compliments. However, don't compliment them on their physical features. They already know they look good, you don't have to tell them. However you do have to tell them you like their hair because chances are they spent an hour trying to make it look like that. And you of course appreciate that effort ;)

And of course the easiest ice-breaker: "Hi."

do it!

If any guy came up to me telling me I had nice hair...I have no idea what I'd do.

But I don't think it would end up with us together.

Find something to laugh about with her or something, compliments don't work on all women.

gotta agree with nicole, i too would be like um...thanks? probably secretly wondering if he's gay cuz most straight guys don't notice things like hairstyles, much less care how it looks.

pick a topic that you both are comfortable with that u can go on from there. ur work is always a good starter, it could blossom from there, you get to know her better and boom u got more to talk about. if at first you don't succeed, don't let it get to you. just try again :)

keep us posted on how it goes too

I got a job at a day camp as a counselor for the summer. There are so many hot girls who work there. I just have a problem talking to them. I have no idea what it is. Most girls think guys just want in their pants, and thats it. I guess maybe its the rejection? I don't know. Any serious tips people? I would appreciate it.


-Chris

(1.) As stated, DO NOT kiss their ass or suck up to them. Women know their hot and get it all the time. Don't be like the other guys that go up to them and say, "baby you're so fiiiinnnnnneeee let me have your digits!"

It's certain that a whole lot of guys have gone up to them with wide open eyes, drooling, and acting like they'll lick their toes because they think they're so beautiful. Don't do that. It's old and tiresome to them.

Treat them as if you're just talking with friends. I know it's hard at first but just relax, BE YOURSELF, and act like you're not affected by how they look or anything. Come across as if you could care less.

Think of it this way as you talk to them and have this in your attitude, you're not going up to get to know them, you're going up to give them the chance to know you.

(2.) As you talk to them, tease them a little. Don't lay it on hard and come across as an asshole.

EXAMPLE

girl: can I sit there? *points to a spot right beside you but it's in the area of your lap*
you: you can't sit on my lap or crotch but I'll let you sit beside me

girl: *walks behind you and brushes against your back side*
you: you feel me up enough back there or are you coming around for a second pass?

(3.) Don't worry about rejection. Most girls aren't mean and will probably just say, "sorry, I have a boyfriend."

IF she does, just throw it back at her.

girl: drop dead you loser, you're too ugly to even stand a chance against me!
you: well when your fuckin tampax shrinks so your cooter is something smaller than a watermelon and you close that revolving man door you call a vagina I might come back and talk to you, until then you need to take about 15 bottles of midol

Just ask yourself, are you going to let a girl ruin your chance with another great girl? Or are you just going to laugh at the bitch and see it as her loss and go on?

(4.) Ice breakers? Anything can really work man. As somebody said, you got the perfect one since you're at camp. Is there a problem child, something funny happen, stuck up person there, bad camp food, bed bugs?

EXAMPLES

"Man what do you think of (kid)? He's a real trouble maker!"

"What's with this food? You'd think they'd give us something better than the wood we collected on that nature hike yesterday."

"Are the bugs biting you real bad as well? What do you do to keep them off because they're eating me alive?"

See what I mean? Find something you can both relate to and build from there.

(5.) Believe it or not, chicks are worried about their looks and self image too. You want to see them naked, they're worried they won't look good or you'll see some jiggly fat if you do.

So DON'T be worried about your looks that much. Make yourself decent I mean you can't get away with no showers or stuff. The point is your personality can take you farther than you know.




Finally, so you know some of this stuff was told by a guy who is in his early 30s. He's pretty goofy looking and most would consider his looks to be "below average."

HOLY SHIT his wife is a fucking fox though.

This guy told his wife on the first night they met, "woman shut the hell up you're getting on my nerves." She didn't like it but she found out after a while that he doesn't kiss hot women's asses, he's nice but treats everybody on the same level, as he talks he teases girls like he teases his friends, and uses his personality and not his looks.

once again kyle..i <3 you. as always, right on the money.

If all else fails, stuff your pants, and be nonchlaunt about it:grinno:

If all else fails, stuff your pants, and be nonchlaunt about it:grinno:
don't listen to him.. :shakehead

If all else fails, stuff your pants, and be nonchlaunt about it:grinno:

Alright speedphreak I'll bring out the most important information but this right here isn't it.

To make it easy I'll quote Mr. Goofy with the hot wife...

"all you got to do to make a woman love you is get down there, find the clit, and eat that sum bitch out until your face looks like a powdered donut"

:disappoin

Wrong advice or not I still was in tears when I typed that just because it's funny how he words things.

That and I'm just saying, you don't need a big one to impress chicks, you know how to work it and you'll be alright. I mean look at lesbians.

"all you got to do to make a woman love you is get down there, find the clit, and eat that sum bitch out until your face looks like a powdered donut"

if the women you've been with have it in powder form there's something seriously wrong...

Wrong advice or not I still was in tears when I typed that just because it's funny how he words things.

That and I'm just saying, you don't need a big one to impress chicks, you know how to work it and you'll be alright. I mean look at lesbians.
true, those silly lesbians don't know what they're missing out on. it is definetely about how you use it. idc how big you are, if you suck at it, size doesn't really matter. but this isn't even relevent cuz we're talking about conversation initiation, not getting in her pants.

if the women you've been with have it in powder form there's something seriously wrong...

As I said, the use of words kills me.

Anyway, this isn't advice about how to get laid or please a woman. As said, this is about helping this guy out with step 1, 2, and 3. I shouldn't have really said anything.

if the women you've been with have it in powder form there's something seriously wrong...
ya know, if he has to resort to blow up dolls stuffed with flour cuz all the women have been scared away by this weird dude in the bushes with a 12 inch camera, then that's his perogative

Wrong advice or not I still was in tears when I typed that

What a coincidence. I was in tears when I read it.

i was like "uh.....something's wrong there...."

wierd shit...

this is one reason why i like the fact there are girls on AF, only a few but enough for the insight we need. otherwise we would be totally screwed. i dont think i could say straight up to a girl thier shirt looks good on them there oz ... ive done that and been slapped before... but i have found complimenting them to others (especially if they catch wind of it or are in ear shot) to be very effective. also if you are working with these girls remember... you are working. i have had luck with just starting a working relationship... then moving on to dating them. use your work time to break the ice and hell try to work it into an outside relationship, maybe by dropping by to work and shooting the breeze with them on my off time. and they do it vise versa (and thats a good feeling.)

here's an icebreaker for you

how much does a penguin weigh?

i don't know

enough to break the ice

here's an icebreaker for you

how much does a penguin weigh?

i don't know

enough to break the ice
this is typically followed by awkward silence. :rolleyes: i don't recommend it cuz it doesn't go anywhere after that. be original and urself, and just follow ur gut on what feels best. a girl that is worth ur time is one that won't care if u are nervous. she might even think it's cute ;)

Oh, one more thing.

Make them laugh.

this is typically followed by awkward silence. :rolleyes: i don't recommend it cuz it doesn't go anywhere after that. be original and urself, and just follow ur gut on what feels best. a girl that is worth ur time is one that won't care if u are nervous. she might even think it's cute ;)

:nono:
wait someone has used that on you??? thats so lame

Wow, powdered donuts and blow-up dolls?! This is getting wayyyy out of control guys/gals! haha!

SO.......I beleive I get the picture now about the approach and all. Thanks guys/gals for all your input for this shy bastard. lol

On that note, Nicole, I live in Florida also:) we should chat sometime.

-Chris

Wow, powdered donuts and blow-up dolls?! This is getting wayyyy out of control guys/gals! haha!

SO.......I beleive I get the picture now about the approach and all. Thanks guys/gals for all your input for this shy bastard. lol

On that note, Nicole, I live in Florida also:) we should chat sometime.

-Chris
haha just cuz ur name is chris doesn't mean you get to hit on nicole. you have to be named james bond and have the right sorta equpiment..if ya know what i mean.

you have to be named james bond and have the right sorta equpiment..if ya know what i mean.

like a laser watch

usually u just b honest and say exactly what ur thinking. i walk up to a girl and say, excuse me, i just saw u sitting there and wondered what u are doing here alone. see what she says and go from there. thats more of a bar thing tho. if shes at work, and shes complaining about being tired or some shit, just ask her if she has anyone to massage her back later. if she says no, ask her why not. etc...etc.... there is a line for every situation, and u dont have to think of some corny shit, just speak what u are actually thinking. unless ur a perv like me, u gotta keep that to urself....hahaha

haha just cuz ur name is chris doesn't mean you get to hit on nicole. you have to be named james bond and have the right sorta equpiment..if ya know what i mean.

Haha. I must attract the Chris'. They all love me...Too bad I only love one...

woo!

he's just a wannabe...

this whole thing has gone insanely too far. The kid is afraid of women. Telling him how to approach them is the wrong idea. The problem lies within yourself man.

I think you're afraid of a girl knowing you like her. BUT THATS RIDICULOUS!!!

you want her to know that you're interested. Don't listen to all this bullshit about non chalant. Stop being afraid of the truth man. The truth shall set you free. You seem like a nice guy, right? You open doors, you say you're welcome... the good stuff. I'm sure you've got a great personality behind all that fear. You just have to learn to block your fear. Block that shit out and show her who you are. It doesn't have to be a pick up line. Saying hi every time you see her is a HUGE signal. Smiling when you make eye contact is a GINORMOUS signal. If you're staring at her and she sees you what do you do? Do you turn away? YOU CANT DO THAT. That's what causes akward silences when she's standing right by you.



cliff notes. smile. say hi. You'll realize she doesn't think you have cooties, and at that point you can probably introduce yourself. Once you start talking to her you're in there like swimwear. ...As long as she's bout it bout it. If she's not bout it bout it, don't consider it a loss. Consider it one big leap for mankind.

heres one other hint. Be friendly with the girls you aren't interested in. Flirt with them too. Everybody likes to flirt. If you flirt with girls who you aren't worried about that will boost your confidence, and I'm sure lil miss thang will notice you, and think YOU DA MAN.

maybe not quite like that, but it works for some of us.

bottom line, don't let this opportunity slip away. Its summer camp. Everybody wants to hook up.

very good advice rick. i was in a similar situation with my roomates girlfriends friend. i thought she was hot, but she wasnt into me that much(cant see why? but anyway....)lol last week we were at the bar and i met this girl and we ended up getting wasted and making out all night. the girl that wasnt into me watched us all night and as soon as the girl i was making out with left, she was askin where my girl was at and this and that.....i told her they're a dime a dozen and walked away....i was also giving her eye contact cause i knew she was lookin. bottom line, i have a date with her this tuesday........
hope u could follow that..

back to the topic, u have to man up and just talk to this girl. everytime i talk to a girl and ask em out or whatever, even if they say no, i feel like ive accomplished something. at least im not sitting home wondering what "could of" happened. thats the worst feeling. 1 minute of fear>days of regret

woo!

he's just a wannabe...
the last thing i need is 2 chris'es sitting outside my window with their flies unzipped. what would u do? hold the camera together? wait...i don't even wanna know..

and good advice ghost. sometimes all it takes is make the other girl jealous and then they'll want you more. they did that in legally blonde! which i doubt any of you have seen and are totally missing out on!

Sorry, I Missed That One.......

[quote=ghostrx7]very good advice rick. i was in a similar situation with my roomates girlfriends friend. i thought she was hot, but she wasnt into me that much(cant see why? but anyway....)lol last week we were at the bar and i met this girl and we ended up getting wasted and making out all night. the girl that wasnt into me watched us all night and as soon as the girl i was making out with left, she was askin where my girl was at and this and that.....i told her they're a dime a dozen and walked away....i was also giving her eye contact cause i knew she was lookin. bottom line, i have a date with her this tuesday........
hope u could follow that..

i never understand how that comes about. i understand what you said... but when girls do that... i dont get how you get to that point.

:rolleyes:

Human's want what they can't have.

girls love a challenge....

Guys love challenges too. Let's not pretend we all don't want the girl we can't have. There's been a zillion times I was interested in a girl... Until she liked me back.

Point being, you can't just represent yourself as a challenge. You have to keep it real, just... without trying too hard. Letting things happen naturally takes practice.


Heres the difference between guys and girls.

Girls:
Girl calls guy 5 times. Guy answers 5 times.
Girl invites guy to hang out twice. Guy says he can hang out twice.
Girl sells out once, and guy is still eager to hang out next time.

Guys:
Guy calls girl 7 times. Girl answers 3 times. Guy leaves 4 messages.
Guy invites girl to hang out 7 times. Girl says she can hang out three times.
Girl sells out twice, and guy still eagerly calls her and answers her calls.

Just try not to be that guy.

ya, i give one chance then they are done for. i hate them games...... i guess i think its funny when my friends play that fool, i always tell em to diss them bioches, but they dont listen. then they wonder why i always get laid and they are always on the phone fighting for bush that they'll never see......:screwy:

exactly. I see guys do it too. But heres the thing.. I like challenges anyways. Game recognize game, so my favorite thing to do is to fuck their game up. I like to pretend I'm that pathetic guy, and right before they think they have me...........



they don't.

It's fun to me. I like to watch them go from "all-mighty girl", to "why doesn't he call me anymore?" They get so confused and self conscious. "What did I do wrong?" whaaa whaaa whaaa!!!!

Don't get me wrong, I'm not doing this week by week. I usually just ignore them from square one. But when they get far enough to get me involved before I realize they're playing with me, I like to turn the tables. That's the challenge I enjoy. I've never slept with a girl I didn't actually like.

true, its not like im out dissin girls left and right, its just all the shit ive gathered after playing their games for a while. when i was in highschool i dated girls for the whole time. 1 year 2 year and three year relationships. so i had no experience in picking up girls on a daily basis. im a quick learner tho, and have no problems..........

One thing I learned late in the game was the most basic thing of all...if you don't shoot, you'll obviously never score.

Too self-conscious, self-analytical and worried about a hundred things, so much so that I would hardly ever consider approaching someone I thought was really pretty. I finally learned put my ego on the bench, and learned to anticipate and embrace rejection, expecting the worst yet hoping for the best. Changing my frame of mind towards the above ideology helped me immensly, and my newfound self confidence and aggressiveness have helped me dig myself out of my little prison.

My problem has always been my attraction to older women (MILFs, for some). After my first shot at going out with a totally hot 30 year old at the age of 18 was an unprecedented success, my hesitation and cowardice dissolved before my very eyes. I could approach anyone I wanted :) Just get it out of your system, and let the hunt begin. Fear of rejection is a primal concern and is completely expected. I exited that timid stage by purposeful practice (as silly as it sounds!) by giving out compliments to those I found attractive. Notice, that since there is no rejection involved when putting out compliments, you have nothing to lose. With a well-placed comment about how pretty someone is, or how nice her dress looks on her, you break the ice and pave way for so much more. Women always love a sincere compliment (who doesnt?).

good point, just think, they have the same self conscious issues u do, they may be a little different, but its the same idea. and trust me, going to bed at night wishing u gave that effort into trying to talk to the hot girl that was smiling at u is way worst than getting rejected......and if u do end up scoring a date, thats the ultimate reward.....

I feel like your AF's spokesmen, and AF is trying to get you in one of these hot ladies pants.

How's the opening of the pants coming man?

OK, ok I'm back guys! Its almost been a whole week of work. So heres the straight poop. I have a co-counselor who happens to be a girl. I don't like her, but I do flirt with her a bit. I do talk to girls at work. Alot of the counselors at my work are from Ireland because we have a sister school there. Which would make it kinda difficult to bring it to a relationship level if I did happen to become connected with that person.I am not looking for a cheap f)&K and leave. NOW, almost everyday for car pickup, there is this girl that smiles at me...like every day. I say hi to her, and she says hey. Its very nonchalant. I don't really see her during the day because I am soooo busy with the kids getting them where they need to be. So thats they story, more to come. But now, back to the Heat game!!!

-Chris

NOW, almost everyday for car pickup, there is this girl that smiles at me...like every day. I say hi to her, and she says hey. Its very nonchalant. I don't really see her during the day because I am soooo busy with the kids getting them where they need to be. So thats they story, more to come.

That's good man. Just take them baby steps. Pretty soon you'll be making leaps and you won't know it.

Since you say "hi" though, why not add to it? Instead of saying "hi" next time, why not "work a killer?" or something like "man these kids, wouldn't you say?" As I said, baby steps and just build on it.