The Muscletang Tales

(Note: The names of the people, times, and events in this story have been changed to protect the innocent, mainly me. Also, this isn't a made up story or anything, this really happened to me but not recently. This happened over a year ago.)

It was a Thursday before the final day of my summer job which was that Friday. The other part time guy who was with me, Robert, went up on the roof of the building. We were both up there to help a couple of guys mount a security camera.

Now so you know the roof was being re-tarred and re-done. When we got up there it was late in the day and the crew, all Mexicans, had gone home for the day. So Robert and I were helping Paul and Dan mount this security camera. Well we weren't really helping but supervising and standing around to help if they really needed us.

Now a whole lot of tar had been left out and Robert began grabbing some of it out of buckets. It was dry and we were both able to grab some and make little tar balls. They were rather light and bounced fairly well. When we found out how well they bounced this is when the trouble began.

About five stories below us was the base of operations for the maintence crew. They had their work trucks out there along with tools and other things.

At first we dropped a few to see what would happen. They bounced but we lost track of them. So we dropped a few more seeing where they would go. Nothing.

Once this little amusment had come and gone we start to throw these tar balls at the lake. It didn't look that far off from the height we were at but in reality it was probably a good 100 yards from our position to the lake.

Robert said, “think you can hit the lake?”
I replied, “Hell yes! Watch this.”

I threw my tar ball and saw nothing. I threw a couple of more, nothing. I put my whole arm into it and threw it so hard my arm hurt a bit. Finally I saw the splash that I had hit my mark.

Now Robert saw this and said, “Oh I can do that.”

Now he threw a couple at first and got the same results I got. He then launched his arm into it and got farther than I had. This caused us to throw these tar balls to see who could get farther than who. This lasted about 10-15 minutes.

After this time Paul and Dan were done with the camera and we left.

The Next Morning...

The head maintence man came out to start his job and found tar balls all over the place. He stepped on a few and some had bounced on the work trucks. Since it was well over 100 degrees the day before, the tar had melted onto the trucks.

When he saw this he looked up and guessed the only logical explination “those fuckin Mexicans!” So he went up there and chewed out the roofing crew and gave them a piece of his mind. Once he was done with that he went into the building and starting raising hell and demanding that “the fucking crew of Mexicans get their asses fired for throwing fucking tar balls all over the god damn place.”

Well he finally came to Dan who I was helping the day before. Dan asked him what happened and the head maintence man told him about how the Mexicans were fucking around and throwing tar balls. Dan asked, “what tar balls?” The maintence guy said, “here is my evidence” and showed him several tar balls.

Dan said, “I'll be right back.”

Well Robert and I were sitting in the office we were based out of and were just talking. Dan came up to us and said, “boys were you throwing tar balls yesterday? If you were you better come clean because the guys down stairs are raising hell and pissing off the Mexicans.”

We told him we were trying to hit the lake and that was it. He then left and we figured he saw us and they were pulling a joke on us since it was our last day. So we just laughed because we didn't know this was really happening.

Well as we were laughing on Dan goes up and tells the Mexicans who really did what and it was a mis-understanding. He told them he was sorry about what happened and he said later, “they probably called me a mother fucker in Spanish but I couldn't understand them.”

Well Robert and I were in the office and Dan came back down. Then another guy came down and said, “I hope you know the Mexicans aren't too happy about being blamed for something they didn't do.” The guy I saw didn't do jokes and was a boss in the area so I then knew, this wasn't a joke.

After that hit me the only thing going through my mind was, “fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!” I went and told Dan I was sorry and was willing to appologize to anybody. Dan said, “don't worry I talked to the maintence guys and told them everything and they said they're just happy you're not going to college on a baseball scholarship.”

So lucky for me things blew over and I didn't get into any trouble.

I can say though I was the reason the maintence crew of racist rednecks and the roofing crew of Mexicans nearly got into a race riot over tar balls.

good read :)