Chinese torture!

Once there was a man that had survived a terrible plane crash and was lost in a forest. He had no idea where he was or which way to go. He wandered for days and survived on berries and twigs. He was way too slow to catch any kind of animal and couldn't even start a fire. He should have joined the boy scouts when he was young. After two weeks of wandering he found a thin, but three
story house with smoke coming out of the chimney. Without hesitation he knocked on the door. A little man answered the door. He had a long white beard that hung almost to the floor.

Please sir, I need some food and shelter. Said the young man.

This I will give you but you must promise not to fool with my lovely daughter.

The old man said Thank you and I wouldn't think of messing with your daughter.

For if you do I will inflict the three most gruesome Chinese torture tests that have ever been devised. The man, too weak, agreed, not thinking that any
woman could arouse him in his weak state. After a shower and some sleep the man came down to eat. A grand dinner was set up and the man sat to eat. The old man's daughter entered the room and to great surprise of the young man, she was most beautiful. So beautiful that the man could hardly tear his eyes away
from her during the meal.

Later that night the man crept into the girl's room to take one last look at her for he had promised to leave early the next morning with a map the old man gave him. When he opened the door he saw that the girl was awake and to his surprise she ushered him in. Well, being stuck in a forest with just your father doesn't surpress all urges, so one thing lead to another. They were as quiet as possible not to wake the old man. After a few hours (OH WOW) the man crept to his room thinking that any torture would be worth what he had just done. He fell asleep thinking of her.

Early in the morning he got up and felt an enormous pain on his chest. It was a rock with a sign on it that said: 1st Chinese torture, 100 pound rock on chest !

Well, this wasn't hardly what the man thought would rate as torture and threw the rock out the window. As he did this he saw a second sign just outside the window that said: 2nd Chinese torture, Left testicle tied to 100 pound rock !

The man jumped out of the window without hestitation knowing a 3 story drop would be far better than what was in store for him.

As he fell to the ground he saw a large sign on the ground. It said: 3rd Chinese torture, right testicle tied to bed post ! yyyyyeeeeeoooouuuuuch!!!! :eek:

Can't type! eyes watering :eek:

















harsh but funny none the less

:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: Holy fraking shit!!!!!!!!!! that almost made me lose my lunch!!!!!:eek:

Heard it... but always worth another giggle! :D

:D :eek: :D

OUCH thats gotta kill but it was funny:):):D:D:hehehe::hehehe:

*voice from under desk*





Is it safe to come out yet?:eek:

heard it before, but its good.

NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

That's just worng!!! :eek::eek::eek:

Funny :lol2:, but.....................:eek2:

arrrrr, a woman had to have made that up. no man could ever even think of something so painful.

:eek: Ouch! :hehehe: :hehehe: :p

Originally posted by Spec2 Girl
:eek: Ouch! :hehehe: :hehehe: :p

Don't act innocent spec2!

We know you're no :angel:! :p

Originally posted by Damien


Don't act innocent spec2!

We know you're no :angel:! :p What???!!!!!???!!! :eek: Of course I’m an :angel:

:D

Originally posted by Spec2 Girl
What???!!!!!???!!! :eek: Of course I’m an :angel:

:D


That is insulting to us :angel:s


:finger: :finger: :finger: :finger:

boys,boys,boys....:rolleyes: don't tease,her bite is definitely worse than her bark!:eek:

:eek: ...I almost fell his pain :eek:

Originally posted by taranaki
boys,boys,boys....:rolleyes: don't tease,her bite is definitely worse than her bark!:eek: See. Listen to the man, he knows! ;) :devil:

Originally posted by Spec2 Girl
See. Listen to the man, he knows! ;) :devil:


Naaaaahhhhhh.......We know you are a softy :finger: :finger: :finger:

Yeah, her bark is soft like Mr. T said but her bite! :eek:

Spec2: Mr. T seems to know a lot! ;)

Originally posted by Damien
Yeah, her bark is soft like Mr. T said but her bite! :eek:
http://216.40.241.68/otn/angels/bat_angel.gif


and Damien, Mr T knows so much because he paid us a visit! ;) :D :p

Originally posted by Spec2 Girl
http://216.40.241.68/otn/angels/bat_angel.gif


and Damien, Mr T knows so much because he paid us a visit! ;) :D :p

Is that an invite? :p

Originally posted by Damien


Is that an invite? :p Sure. If you’re game! http://216.40.241.68/otn/angels/bat_angel.gif


:D

As mention before when a AF meeting was brought up! :D

"And we are safe in are homes! :D"

I think I'll stay right here :frog:

Originally posted by Damien
As mention before when a AF meeting was brought up! :D

"And we are safe in are homes! :D"

I think I'll stay right here :frog:

Don't worry Damien you'd have me to back you up.:D

Originally posted by darkness


Don't worry Damien you'd have me to back you up.:D

Yup and I'd be standing at the letter-box.........WAtching in fear as all thr stupid suckers suffer :finger: :finger: :finger: :angel:

I'll wacth from the sidelines with my sour lollies and frozen coke:D

I'll be hiding behind Moondog.:uhoh: :uhoh:

Originally posted by tazdev
I'll wacth from the sidelines with my sour lollies and frozen coke:D Yay for sour worms!!!!! :D :D :D

Originally posted by Spec2 Girl
Yay for sour worms!!!!! :D :D :D

:ylsuper :ylsuper true that:D