The MAN code
spotovi
07-25-2002, 09:09 AM
> The MAN code
>
> AND SO IT HAS BEEN WRITTEN, IT SHALL BE KNOWN SIMPLY
> AS "THE CODE"
> 1. Thou shall not rent the movie "Chocolate."
>
2. Under no circumstances may two men share an
> umbrella.
>
3. Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party
> may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow
> partygoers.
>
4. When you are queried by a buddy's wife,
> girlfriend, mother, father, priest, shrink, dentist,
> accountant, or dog walker, you need not and should
> not provide any useful information whatsoever as to
> his whereabouts. You are permitted to deny his very
> existence.
>
5. Unless he murdered someone in your immediate
> family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12
> hours.
>
6. You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by
> 50 percent without recrimination; beyond that,
> anyone within earshot is allowed to call BULLSHIT.
> (Exception: When trying to pick up a girl, the
> allowable exaggeration rate rises to 400 percent).
>
>
7. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his
> sister is off-limits forever.
>
8. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for
> another guy who's running late is 5 minutes. For a
> woman, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every
> point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10
> scale.
>
> 9. Bitching about the brand of free beer in a
> buddies refrigerator is forbidden. You may gripe if
> the temperature is unsuitable.
>
> 10. No man is ever required to buy a birthday
> present for another man. In fact, even remembering a
> friends birthday is strictly optional and slightly
> gay.
>
> 11. Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot
> babe your buddy is trying to hook up with is your
> legal duty. Should you get carried away with your
> good deed and end up having sex with the beast, your
> pal is forbidden to speak of it, even at your
> bachelor party (Wingman).
>
> 12. Before dating a buddy's ex, you are required to
> ask his permission and he, in return is required to
> grant it.
> 13. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must
> be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge
> of the game and the ability to pick a buffalo wing
> clean.
>
> 14. If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem -
> you didn't see nothin'.
> 15. The universal compensation for buddies who help
> you move is beer.
> 16. A man must never own a cat or like his
> girlfriend's cat.
> 17. Your girlfriend must bond with your buddy's
> girlfriends within 30 minutes of meeting them. You
> are not required to make nice with her gal pal's
> significant dick-heads - low-level sports bonding is
> all the law requires.
>
> 18. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sports
> event, you may always ask the score of the game in
> progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
>
> 19. When your girlfriend/wife expresses a desire to
> fix her whiney friend up with your pal, you may give
> her the go-ahead only if you'll be able to warn your
> buddy and give him time prepare excuses about
> joining the priesthood.
> 20. It is permissible to consume a fruity chick
> drink only when you're sunning on a tropical
> beach... and it's delivered by a topless
> supermodel...and it's free.
>
> 21. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
> 22. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively
> dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
> 23. If a buddy is outnumbered, out manned, or too
> drunk to fight, you must jump into the fight.
> Exception: If within the last 24 hours his actions
> have caused you to think, "What this guy needs is a
> good ass-whoopin", then you may sit back and enjoy.
>
> 24. Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man
> while weight lifting: "Yeah, baby, push it!" "C'mon,
> give me one more!" "Harder!"
>
> 25. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the
> last slice of pizza, but not both. That's just plain
> mean.
> 27. Never join your girlfriend/wife in dissing a
> buddy, except when she's withholding sex pending
> your response.
> 28. Never talk to a man in the bathroom unless
> you're on equal footing: either both urinating or
> both waiting in line. In all other situations, a nod
> is all the conversation you need.
>
> 29. Before allowing a drunken friend to cheat on his
> girl, you must attempt one intervention. If he is
> able to get on his feet, look you in the eye, and
> deliver a "FUCK OFF", you are absolved of your of
> responsibility.
>
> 30. The morning after you and a babe who was
> formerly "just a friend" have carnal, drunken monkey
> sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty
> is no reason not to nail her again before the
> discussion about what a big mistake it was.
>
> AND SO IT HAS BEEN WRITTEN, IT SHALL BE KNOWN SIMPLY
> AS "THE CODE"
> 1. Thou shall not rent the movie "Chocolate."
>
2. Under no circumstances may two men share an
> umbrella.
>
3. Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party
> may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow
> partygoers.
>
4. When you are queried by a buddy's wife,
> girlfriend, mother, father, priest, shrink, dentist,
> accountant, or dog walker, you need not and should
> not provide any useful information whatsoever as to
> his whereabouts. You are permitted to deny his very
> existence.
>
5. Unless he murdered someone in your immediate
> family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12
> hours.
>
6. You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by
> 50 percent without recrimination; beyond that,
> anyone within earshot is allowed to call BULLSHIT.
> (Exception: When trying to pick up a girl, the
> allowable exaggeration rate rises to 400 percent).
>
>
7. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his
> sister is off-limits forever.
>
8. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for
> another guy who's running late is 5 minutes. For a
> woman, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every
> point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10
> scale.
>
> 9. Bitching about the brand of free beer in a
> buddies refrigerator is forbidden. You may gripe if
> the temperature is unsuitable.
>
> 10. No man is ever required to buy a birthday
> present for another man. In fact, even remembering a
> friends birthday is strictly optional and slightly
> gay.
>
> 11. Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot
> babe your buddy is trying to hook up with is your
> legal duty. Should you get carried away with your
> good deed and end up having sex with the beast, your
> pal is forbidden to speak of it, even at your
> bachelor party (Wingman).
>
> 12. Before dating a buddy's ex, you are required to
> ask his permission and he, in return is required to
> grant it.
> 13. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must
> be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge
> of the game and the ability to pick a buffalo wing
> clean.
>
> 14. If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem -
> you didn't see nothin'.
> 15. The universal compensation for buddies who help
> you move is beer.
> 16. A man must never own a cat or like his
> girlfriend's cat.
> 17. Your girlfriend must bond with your buddy's
> girlfriends within 30 minutes of meeting them. You
> are not required to make nice with her gal pal's
> significant dick-heads - low-level sports bonding is
> all the law requires.
>
> 18. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sports
> event, you may always ask the score of the game in
> progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
>
> 19. When your girlfriend/wife expresses a desire to
> fix her whiney friend up with your pal, you may give
> her the go-ahead only if you'll be able to warn your
> buddy and give him time prepare excuses about
> joining the priesthood.
> 20. It is permissible to consume a fruity chick
> drink only when you're sunning on a tropical
> beach... and it's delivered by a topless
> supermodel...and it's free.
>
> 21. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
> 22. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively
> dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
> 23. If a buddy is outnumbered, out manned, or too
> drunk to fight, you must jump into the fight.
> Exception: If within the last 24 hours his actions
> have caused you to think, "What this guy needs is a
> good ass-whoopin", then you may sit back and enjoy.
>
> 24. Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man
> while weight lifting: "Yeah, baby, push it!" "C'mon,
> give me one more!" "Harder!"
>
> 25. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the
> last slice of pizza, but not both. That's just plain
> mean.
> 27. Never join your girlfriend/wife in dissing a
> buddy, except when she's withholding sex pending
> your response.
> 28. Never talk to a man in the bathroom unless
> you're on equal footing: either both urinating or
> both waiting in line. In all other situations, a nod
> is all the conversation you need.
>
> 29. Before allowing a drunken friend to cheat on his
> girl, you must attempt one intervention. If he is
> able to get on his feet, look you in the eye, and
> deliver a "FUCK OFF", you are absolved of your of
> responsibility.
>
> 30. The morning after you and a babe who was
> formerly "just a friend" have carnal, drunken monkey
> sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty
> is no reason not to nail her again before the
> discussion about what a big mistake it was.
Ando_Rules
07-25-2002, 12:32 PM
haha lol thats a good code man :D:D
Damien
07-25-2002, 12:37 PM
Alright!!! A newbie is coming up with a good thread! :D
At least most wouldn't upset the women of AF..........I think :uhoh:
That's funny though man! :lol2::lol2::lol2:
At least most wouldn't upset the women of AF..........I think :uhoh:
That's funny though man! :lol2::lol2::lol2:
NSX-R-SSJ20K
07-25-2002, 01:08 PM
buwahahahaha great
anyone know any more codes
anyone know any more codes
Gonthrax
07-25-2002, 01:13 PM
Hell yes, funny shit :hehehe:
Damien
07-25-2002, 01:14 PM
I could possible know more codes :D:D:D
But I'm to young to die at the hands of the Af women! :cry:
But I'm to young to die at the hands of the Af women! :cry:
spotovi
07-25-2002, 01:27 PM
All I can say is that some ring true for me and the others well :-)
Regards,
Spotovi
Regards,
Spotovi
Spec2 Girl
07-25-2002, 05:10 PM
Originally posted by Damien
I could possible know more codes :D:D:D
But I'm to young to die at the hands of the Af women! :cry: We won’t kill you, we'll just use a slow form of torture! :D :angel:
I could possible know more codes :D:D:D
But I'm to young to die at the hands of the Af women! :cry: We won’t kill you, we'll just use a slow form of torture! :D :angel:
darkness
07-25-2002, 05:11 PM
Originally posted by spotovi
All I can say is that some ring true for me and the others well :-)
Same here. some of them are true.:D
All I can say is that some ring true for me and the others well :-)
Same here. some of them are true.:D
"Pandamonium"
07-25-2002, 05:23 PM
Originally posted by Spec2 Girl
We won’t kill you, we'll just use a slow form of torture! :D :angel:
This only applies if you live/ or are married to one of them.
In which case nothings different!!!
The Panda's Mrs is not on AF!!!
:hehehe: :hehe: :hehehe: :hehe: :hehehe: :hehe: :hehehe: :hehe: :hehehe: :hehe: :hehehe: :hehe: :hehehe: :hehe: :hehehe: :hehe: :hehehe: :hehe: :hehehe: :hehe: :hehehe: :hehe: :hehehe: :hehe: :hehehe: :hehe: :hehehe: :hehe: :hehehe: :hehe: :hehehe: :hehe: :hehehe: :hehe: :hehehe: :hehe: :hehehe: :hehe: :hehehe: :hehe: :hehehe: :hehe: :hehehe: :hehe: :hehehe: :hehe: :hehehe: :hehe: :hehehe: :hehe:
And it wouldn't change anything if she was!!! :flipa: :finger: :flipa: :finger:
We won’t kill you, we'll just use a slow form of torture! :D :angel:
This only applies if you live/ or are married to one of them.
In which case nothings different!!!
The Panda's Mrs is not on AF!!!
:hehehe: :hehe: :hehehe: :hehe: :hehehe: :hehe: :hehehe: :hehe: :hehehe: :hehe: :hehehe: :hehe: :hehehe: :hehe: :hehehe: :hehe: :hehehe: :hehe: :hehehe: :hehe: :hehehe: :hehe: :hehehe: :hehe: :hehehe: :hehe: :hehehe: :hehe: :hehehe: :hehe: :hehehe: :hehe: :hehehe: :hehe: :hehehe: :hehe: :hehehe: :hehe: :hehehe: :hehe: :hehehe: :hehe: :hehehe: :hehe: :hehehe: :hehe: :hehehe: :hehe: :hehehe: :hehe:
And it wouldn't change anything if she was!!! :flipa: :finger: :flipa: :finger:
YellowMaranello
07-25-2002, 08:00 PM
Originally posted by "Pandamonium"
And it wouldn't change anything if she was!!! :flipa: :finger: :flipa: :finger:
Are you sure she wasn't standing right behind you when you said that?
And it wouldn't change anything if she was!!! :flipa: :finger: :flipa: :finger:
Are you sure she wasn't standing right behind you when you said that?
"Pandamonium"
07-25-2002, 09:02 PM
Originally posted by YellowMaranello
Are you sure she wasn't standing right behind you when you said that?
Positive!!! Always sit facing the door with your back to the wall.
Makes it easier to spot any incoming shit storms!!!
The Panda is wise to the ways of women!!!
Are you sure she wasn't standing right behind you when you said that?
Positive!!! Always sit facing the door with your back to the wall.
Makes it easier to spot any incoming shit storms!!!
The Panda is wise to the ways of women!!!
tazdev
07-25-2002, 11:10 PM
Originally posted by spotovi
Damn:(
[b]how long have I known Moondog?:devil:
Damn:(
[b]how long have I known Moondog?:devil:
Spec2 Girl
07-25-2002, 11:29 PM
Originally posted by tazdev
Damn:(
how long have I known Moondog?:devil: Which one was it Simon??? :p
Damn:(
how long have I known Moondog?:devil: Which one was it Simon??? :p
Ssom
07-26-2002, 04:42 AM
:silly2: :silly2: :silly2: :silly2: :D :D :D :D
Actually, if I caught a guy doing any of this stuff, regardless, of the code........I'd be worried :D :D
Actually, if I caught a guy doing any of this stuff, regardless, of the code........I'd be worried :D :D
tazdev
07-26-2002, 06:12 AM
Originally posted by Spec2 Girl
Which one was it Simon??? :p
either one:D
Which one was it Simon??? :p
either one:D
TerminalVelocity
07-26-2002, 07:12 AM
DAMN YOU! you posted our secrets! :hehe:
hahahaha, good stuff man, so true too! :sun:
hahahaha, good stuff man, so true too! :sun:
spotovi
07-26-2002, 08:11 AM
Sorry TerminalVelocity. I understand but I had some friends breaking the code now and then. I figured I had to post something because I have a friend A) Wanting and willing to rent Chocolate and B) I caught him having a full blown conversation with some guy taking a piss. I slapped him and figured a posting like this will give a good refresher for everyone. hahaha.
Regards,
Spotovi
Regards,
Spotovi
NSX-R-SSJ20K
07-26-2002, 10:17 AM
Originally posted by Spec2 Girl
We won’t kill you, we'll just use a slow form of torture! :D :angel:
sounds kinky
We won’t kill you, we'll just use a slow form of torture! :D :angel:
sounds kinky
taranaki
07-26-2002, 11:20 AM
Originally posted by tazdev
either one:D
Amen to that,brother,but the correct answer was actually"both":D :D :D
but be very careful not to upset Moon,he has powerful voodoo....I have seen the videos....;)
either one:D
Amen to that,brother,but the correct answer was actually"both":D :D :D
but be very careful not to upset Moon,he has powerful voodoo....I have seen the videos....;)
ragt20
07-26-2002, 07:03 PM
good stuff ther man :lol2:
copied and saved for future reference just incase i forget :D
copied and saved for future reference just incase i forget :D
HogieGT-R
07-27-2002, 01:11 AM
an extended rule to the men's code ......if there is a row of urinals in the men's room, the proper way to use them is 1 man on everyother urinal, allowing a 1 urinal piss barrier between the 2guys...and if it is one big open urinal thing that looks like a pig feeder....don't look down, left, or right. only look either straight ahead or up towards the ceiling
Pennzoil GT-R
07-27-2002, 10:19 PM
Originally posted by HogieGT-R
an extended rule to the men's code ......if there is a row of urinals in the men's room, the proper way to use them is 1 man on everyother urinal, allowing a 1 urinal piss barrier between the 2guys...and if it is one big open urinal thing that looks like a pig feeder....don't look down, left, or right. only look either straight ahead or up towards the ceiling
hell yeah. that is one of the most important rules. there is a diagram somewhere that explains the order of approaching the urinal in detail but i forget what magazine its in now.
an extended rule to the men's code ......if there is a row of urinals in the men's room, the proper way to use them is 1 man on everyother urinal, allowing a 1 urinal piss barrier between the 2guys...and if it is one big open urinal thing that looks like a pig feeder....don't look down, left, or right. only look either straight ahead or up towards the ceiling
hell yeah. that is one of the most important rules. there is a diagram somewhere that explains the order of approaching the urinal in detail but i forget what magazine its in now.
Damien
07-28-2002, 12:49 AM
Originally posted by NSX-R-SSJ20K
sounds kinky
hmmmmmmmm........:licker:
sounds kinky
hmmmmmmmm........:licker:
HogieGT-R
07-28-2002, 01:47 PM
Originally posted by Pennzoil GT-R
hell yeah. that is one of the most important rules. there is a diagram somewhere that explains the order of approaching the urinal in detail but i forget what magazine its in now.
I think that I saw it last in either Maxim, Stuff, or FHM one of those...I have too many of them
hell yeah. that is one of the most important rules. there is a diagram somewhere that explains the order of approaching the urinal in detail but i forget what magazine its in now.
I think that I saw it last in either Maxim, Stuff, or FHM one of those...I have too many of them
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