blonde jokes
vinnym86
05-19-2006, 09:49 PM
just laugh. :smokin:
A Blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and sure enough, she opens the door and finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is angry, She opens her purse to take out the gun but as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.
The boyfriend yells "No, honey, don't do it." The blond replies "Shut up, you're next."
---
Q.) Whats the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?
A.) Those ironing board legs are always so hard to open up.
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The blonde reported for her university final examination that consists of "yes/no" type questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet "Yes" for Heads and "No" for Tails. Within half an hour she is all done, whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out. During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the coin, muttering and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is going on. "I finished the exam in half an hour, but I'm rechecking my answers."
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Q.) How does a blonde kill a fish?
A.) She drowns it.
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A group of young blonde women in a class at University College, Galway were given the assignment to measure the height of a flagpole. So they went out to the flagpole with ladders and tape measures, and they're falling off the ladders, dropping the tape measures and the whole thing was just a mess.
A male engineering student comes along, sees what they're trying to do, walks over, pulls the flagpole out of the ground, lays it flat, measures it from end to end, and then gave the measurement to one of the blond girls and walks away.
After the guy had gone, one blond turned to another and laughed "Men... We're looking for the height and he gives us the length!"
---
Q.) Why do blondes get confused in the ladies room?
A.) They have to pull their own pants down.
A Blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and sure enough, she opens the door and finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is angry, She opens her purse to take out the gun but as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.
The boyfriend yells "No, honey, don't do it." The blond replies "Shut up, you're next."
---
Q.) Whats the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?
A.) Those ironing board legs are always so hard to open up.
---
The blonde reported for her university final examination that consists of "yes/no" type questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet "Yes" for Heads and "No" for Tails. Within half an hour she is all done, whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out. During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the coin, muttering and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is going on. "I finished the exam in half an hour, but I'm rechecking my answers."
---
Q.) How does a blonde kill a fish?
A.) She drowns it.
---
A group of young blonde women in a class at University College, Galway were given the assignment to measure the height of a flagpole. So they went out to the flagpole with ladders and tape measures, and they're falling off the ladders, dropping the tape measures and the whole thing was just a mess.
A male engineering student comes along, sees what they're trying to do, walks over, pulls the flagpole out of the ground, lays it flat, measures it from end to end, and then gave the measurement to one of the blond girls and walks away.
After the guy had gone, one blond turned to another and laughed "Men... We're looking for the height and he gives us the length!"
---
Q.) Why do blondes get confused in the ladies room?
A.) They have to pull their own pants down.
imtheoneandonlyD
05-19-2006, 11:40 PM
heh some ive heard before. i give it a 5
stieh2000
05-21-2006, 12:02 PM
Q.) Why do blondes get confused in the ladies room?
A.) They have to pull their own pants down.
Oh, so that's why it takes them so long.
A.) They have to pull their own pants down.
Oh, so that's why it takes them so long.
balls_to_the_wall
05-21-2006, 10:10 PM
Oh, so that's why it takes them so long.
Naa, the pants dont come with instructions on how to put them back on
Naa, the pants dont come with instructions on how to put them back on
Damien
05-21-2006, 10:24 PM
^and that made that joke better! :lol:
crayzayjay
05-22-2006, 05:43 AM
"I'm rechecking my answers"
:lol2:
:lol2:
G-man422
05-22-2006, 07:28 AM
Wow, those are good.
Q)How do you confuse a blonde?
A)You put her in a circle room, and tell her to sit in the corner. (an old one, but still good)
Q)How do you confuse a blonde?
A)You put her in a circle room, and tell her to sit in the corner. (an old one, but still good)
1986Z28
05-22-2006, 03:06 PM
good ones, i like em
Muscletang
05-22-2006, 07:42 PM
How do you kill a blonde?
put a scratch-n-sniff sticker at the bottom of a swimming pool
:lol: I know it's an old one but it kills me every single time :lol:
put a scratch-n-sniff sticker at the bottom of a swimming pool
:lol: I know it's an old one but it kills me every single time :lol:
Mr Wiggl3s
05-22-2006, 07:45 PM
The last time i heard that joke i fell off my dinosaur
Oz
05-22-2006, 10:00 PM
:lol:
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