Infidelity

How would you define infidelity?IS it possible to love two people without being unfaithful?is there a point where infidelity ceases to be a relationship-breaker and drops to a 'corrective action required' offence?Is there such a think as being unfaithful in an incomplete relationship?

Please don't assume that any of the above applies to me:)

Other then not wanting to get into a defninition of "love" - it possible to love many people, but you shouldn't mix that with infidelity. Sleeping with someone and loving them are not synonymous.

So,are you implying that infidelity only occurs at a physical level?If your new wife caught you staring at a car-show bikini girl,would she not see that as a bad case of mental infidelity?

Originally posted by YogsVR4
Other then not wanting to get into a defninition of "love" - it possible to love many people, but you shouldn't mix that with infidelity. Sleeping with someone and loving them are not synonymous.

But the idea of love... I think we need to discuss the different kinds of love. I love my dog, but not the same way I'd love a "lover" (boyfriend, husband), and still not the same way I'd love my family and closest friends. I love my dog as a companion. I love my family and friends with a platonic love. I would love a boyfriend/husband with a romantic love. And IMHO a love can change. A romantic love can become a platonic love and vice versa. Now, I'll never love my dog with a romantic love, but I think after my little rant you get the idea.

But when does infidelity cross the line? Is it when one member of the Romance loses the romantic love for the other? Is it when one of them thinks of another (outside) person with a romantic passion?

Originally posted by taranaki
So,are you implying that infidelity only occurs at a physical level?If your new wife caught you staring at a car-show bikini girl,would she not see that as a bad case of mental infidelity?

She just told me (as she just read your thread) that its not. She says its ok to look, but not to touch. That example would be more of a "lust" or even curiosity then being ifidelic (is that the word?) I made a commitment to my wife, using a passive sence like sight, sound or smell would be hard to call actively pursueing.

To me infidelity is when it starts to feel wrong. I'll try to explain.

There's nothing wrong with harmless flirting or looking at someone else, but if your feelings start to get deeper and you start to look at that person in a different light, that's when you have to take a good look at what's going on. If you feel guilty about what you are doing and it feels wrong to you and you feel like you are cheating whether it's physical or not, then that's infidelity.

Originally posted by saturntangerine


A romantic love can become a plutonic love and vice versa.


Sorry, did you mean platonic?I can't help thinkingof this guy....
http://files.automotiveforums.com/uploads/671230pluto.jpg

Now, I'll never love my dog with a romantic love, but I think after my little rant you get the idea.


You could love your dog with plutonic love,and get away with it!

Originally posted by Spec2 Girl
To me infidelity is when it starts to feel wrong. I'll try to explain.

There's nothing wrong with harmless flirting or looking at someone else, but if your feelings start to get deeper and you start to look at that person in a different light, that's when you have to take a good look at what's going on. If you feel guilty about what you are doing and it feels wrong to you and you feel like you are cheating whether it's physical or not, then that's infidelity.

but what if your in love with someone, and have feelings for another, and are physical...but it dosent feel wrong, what then?

Originally posted by taranaki


You could love your dog with plutonic love,and get away with it!

:finger: :p *lol*

Um, yes, I was having some serious typing issues... Blonde moment! Time for an artificial intelligence re-dye! ;)

Originally posted by saturntangerine
Time for an artificial intelligence re-dye! ;)


Try something new shave it all off and really confuse people
:D

Originally posted by TerminalVelocity


but what if your in love with someone, and have feelings for another, and are physical...but it dosent feel wrong, what then? Well I would suggest that it’s time to reassess your relationship with that other person. If you are physically cheating and don’t feel that it’s wrong, then it would seem that you no longer have any feelings for that other person even though you say that you do. Either that or cheating in general doesn't seem wrong to you.

Next question.....Is it possible to be unfaithful to somebody if they don't give a damn about you any more?

[usual disclaimer..........don't assume that this question refers to my situation]

Originally posted by taranaki
Next question.....Is it possible to be unfaithful to somebody if they don't give a damn about you any more?

[usual disclaimer..........don't assume that this question refers to my situation]

Talk about a rhetoric question :rolleyes:

How can it be? They don't care about you so they don't care what you do! I know from experience! :D

Just to make sure........is there some hidden meaning or something? :confused:

You can only be unfaithful to yourself. You are measured on your ability to do as you say. It doesn’t matter what the other person thinks – it only matters how it affects you.

WOW!!! :eek:

That's deep...:eek2: I guess I can't be affected then! :D

Originally posted by YogsVR4
You can only be unfaithful to yourself. You are measured on your ability to do as you say. It doesn’t matter what the other person thinks – it only matters how it affects you.

Congratulations Yogs....that really cuts through the fog to the core of the issue.I am impressed,and grateful for your input.Helps to make sense of my question,as well as steer me towards the right answer.......not that any of this applies directly to me ,of course!;)

I am young but I feel strongly about this issue so I will add my adolescense input. I feel infedility can be physical or mental. I understand that it's only natural for people to look and check out other people but when they do what I call a "double-take" is when you have to worry. I agree with the look but not touch thing but I feel the woman or man you married should be the most amazing person in your eyes, physically and mentally and when you find someone else more intriguing than your mate, I feel that's infedility in itself. And ofcourse if you so much as kiss someone else yeah yeah yeah that's infedility also but on a different level. I'm sorry if this doesn't make sense, I usually only understand what I write:rolleyes: