Men Are Just Happier People!

Sent to me by my loving wife...

Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple
creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles and gray hair add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. The occasional
well-rendered belch is practically expected, as is the fart. New shoes don't
cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase, sometimes none! You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be
your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of
shoes are more than enough.

You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life.

Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24th in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.

Don't forget how easily amused we are.

We like to blow stuff up. Watching stuff blow up is almost as good.
Tearing things down with a sledgehammer ranks right up there, too. :evillol:

All very true.

i like the part "you know stuff about tanks". how arbitrary.

One mood all the time.

All true except this one if you're like me and are an Italian American man who is diabetic... :grinyes: :banghead:

yup, i like it

So funny, yet so true :lol2:

so very very true, i was actually just having a conversation with a girl about how much easier it is to be a guy. another thing is we can have as many kids as we want and never feel physical pain.

men are only happy cuz they haven't yet realized their mental difficiencies compared to us ladies :p

that stuff is all so true too. and the thing about all the kids u want but none of the pain? yeah, we'll see who's laughing when ur wife gets a random food craving at 3 am and it's pouring rain and she won't go to bed until she gets it and she sure as hell isn't getting it herself.

that stuff is all so true too. and the thing about all the kids u want but none of the pain? yeah, we'll see who's laughing when ur wife gets a random food craving at 3 am and it's pouring rain and she won't go to bed until she gets it and she sure as hell isn't getting it herself.

Then I guess she doesn't want it bad enough.:icon16:

Then I guess she doesn't want it bad enough.:icon16:


#1. PWN.

#2. PWN.

#3. I have 6 pairs of shoes..... does that make me wierd?

:repost:

#1. PWN.

#2. PWN.

#3. I have 6 pairs of shoes..... does that make me wierd?

Ya reallly... I have bout 13 shoes

Ya reallly... I have bout 13 shoes
psh..that's weak. i have 26 and sooo need more. :D

men are only happy cuz they haven't yet realized their mental difficiencies compared to us ladies :p

Like what?

Like what?
exactly my point...:grinno:

hey hey we all need to admit girls have a edge over use
if it wasn't for them then we would all be either gay or into sex with animals
which is not a good thing
now if guys werent here all girls would be lesbians which is a good thing so they got the edge

exactly my point...:grinno:

Thank you for proving my point.

Ya reallly... I have bout 13 shoes


actually make mine 13 pairs also...

I've got the brown ones, the black ones, the black ones with the carbon fiber, the sandals, the other sandals, the black dress shoes, the brown dress shoes, the running shoes, the work shoes, the crappy shoes, the cowboy boots, the normal boots, and the hiking boots. Multi purpose!

men are only happy cuz they haven't yet realized their mental difficiencies compared to us ladies :p





gutes, I must admit you are absolutely right about that. I never realized my mental "dificiencies" compared to you ladies. Heck to be quite honest I do not even know what a dificiency is.


Is that related by any chance with "deficiency"?








PS. I’m not a grammar Nazi but you left yourself way open with that one. :icon16:

gutes, I must admit you are absolutely right about that. I never realized my mental "dificiencies" compared to you ladies. Heck to be quite honest I do not even know what a dificiency is.


Is that related by any chance with "deficiency"?








PS. I’m not a grammar Nazi but you left yourself way open with that one. :icon16:
oh my i did :frown: i knew it didn't look right...guess this is payback for all those other times i've been a grammar nazi lol.

i surrender, guys>girls (pff...) happy now?

oh my i did :frown: i knew it didn't look right...guess this is payback for all those other times i've been a grammar nazi lol.

i surrender, guys>girls (pff...) happy now?


<stewie voice>ha victory si mine!!!</stewie voice>




Just j/k meh I'll admit I'm usually a dork, especially around girls when my bad jokes repertoire comes out (mostly innuendo based). Which of course leads to evil looks and or violence towards me I witch point I become their punching bag :frown: (not as bad as it sounds but when they start punching me in the shoulder while I drive fast on the freeway can be quite dangerous).

<stewie voice>ha victory si mine!!!</stewie voice>




Just j/k meh I'll admit I'm usually a dork, especially around girls when my bad jokes repertoire comes out (mostly innuendo based). Which of course leads to evil looks and or violence towards me I witch point I become their punching bag :frown: (not as bad as it sounds but when they start punching me in the shoulder while I drive fast on the freeway can be quite dangerous).
some people think it's funny to tickle me when i drive, then laugh hysterically as i swerve on the road cuz i am the biggest spaz/most ticklish person EVER. apparently..some people feel like dying in a fiery car wreck cuz they just had to tickle me...stupid boys. <-- ahha! girls aren't dumb enough to tickle ticklish people while driving 75 mph on the interstate like guys are. therefore, ladies are in the lead again!!! *power rangers voice* go go girl power!

some people think it's funny to tickle me when i drive, then laugh hysterically as i swerve on the road cuz i am the biggest spaz/most ticklish person EVER. apparently..some people feel like dying in a fiery car wreck cuz they just had to tickle me...stupid boys. <-- ahha! girls aren't dumb enough to tickle ticklish people while driving 75 mph on the interstate like guys are. therefore, ladies are in the lead again!!! *power rangers voice* go go girl power!


That is so not true, girls are even worse that guys at that. Once they find out I'm extremely ticklish (which they seem often quite surprised by that it seems - guess I don't look that type or something) they freaking go all out.

Actually one of my EXs use to do just that all the freakin time, and then she used to make fun of me because I would try and defend myself while I drove. It seems she though that I looked really "gay" during my desperate attempts to push her hands with one hand while I tried to keep my other hand o the wheel and my eyes on the road.

That is so not true, girls are even worse that guys at that. Once they find out I'm extremely ticklish (which they seem often quite surprised by that it seems - guess I don't look that type or something) they freaking go all out.

Actually one of my EXs use to do just that all the freakin time, and then she used to make fun of me because I would try and defend myself while I drove. It seems she though that I looked really "gay" during my desperate attempts to push her hands with one hand while I tried to keep my other hand o the wheel and my eyes on the road.
by the sounds of it..good thing she's an ex. if u were still with her i would say you give her a scare and just drive completely off the road and see how she reacts. any normal girl should freak out. ;)

sorry for whorin again tonight but AF>ap final essay assigned yesterday, due in 13 hours and idk how to write it so i have had trouble starting.. :(

by the sounds of it..good thing she's an ex. if u were still with her i would say you give her a scare and just drive completely off the road and see how she reacts. any normal girl should freak out. ;)



haha good ideea although that would probaly lead to her yelling at me for being stupid and and she would start punching me in the shoulder. Or even worse she would give me silent treatment and I would end being the one in trouble. You know that's how it is - no matter what it is and who started it, guys are the only ones to get in trouble.

haha good ideea although that would probaly lead to her yelling at me for being stupid and and she would start punching me in the shoulder. Or even worse she would give me silent treatment and I would end being the one in trouble. You know that's how it is - no matter what it is and who started it, guys are the only ones to get in trouble.
yeah well if you boys would behave you wouldn't be in trouble :p and i never ever hit my guy. and i expect the same from him. not even a joking slap in the face. cuz things always escalate and then it really does start to hurt. i dont care who else he hits, that's his choice, but he knows better than to ever lay a hand on me. i once dated a guy who thought it was acceptable to hit your girlfriend..yeah that didn't last long at all. i also know better than to pick a fight with a guy, that's another stupid thing to do.

i also suck at the silent treatment thing. i'd rather just make amends instead of sit there wasting time being mad at each other.

some people think it's funny to tickle me when i drive, then laugh hysterically as i swerve on the road cuz i am the biggest spaz/most ticklish person EVER. apparently..some people feel like dying in a fiery car wreck cuz they just had to tickle me...stupid boys. <-- ahha! girls aren't dumb enough to tickle ticklish people while driving 75 mph on the interstate like guys are. therefore, ladies are in the lead again!!! *power rangers voice* go go girl power!

maybe you shouldn't be speeding.

guys:1

girls:0

maybe you shouldn't be speeding.

guys:1

girls:0
it's called the interstate

guys:-1

girls: 1

(you lose points for making assumptions)

it's called the interstate

guys:-1

girls: 1

(you lose points for making assumptions)


Oh yeah and whats the speed limit on that interstate? Not 75.

Guys: 3 (because of the point we had before and then the point for this and also the other point that you tried to get just then)
Girls: -1

:wink:

yeah well if you boys would behave you wouldn't be in trouble

oh really and who gave me that ideea to drive off the road to scare her:uhoh:

and i never ever hit my guy. and i expect the same from him. not even a joking slap in the face. cuz things always escalate and then it really does start to hurt. i dont care who else he hits, that's his choice, but he knows better than to ever lay a hand on me. i once dated a guy who thought it was acceptable to hit your girlfriend..yeah that didn't last long at all. i also know better than to pick a fight with a guy, that's another stupid thing to do.

i also suck at the silent treatment thing. i'd rather just make amends instead of sit there wasting time being mad at each other.


Is that is why i made the "me becoming a punching bag" comment because I basically sit there while they go at it. No that much I can do about it. Honestly it doesn't bother me that much unless they go for my face. I had a girl think it would be funny to start slapping my face, once she did that I walked away and did not speak to her again.

And yes the silent treament sucks, it sometimes takes hours just to get out of a girl why she is mad at you.

Actually, I have the trump card right here:


What sex are Hillary Clinton, Jane Fonda, Rosie O'donnell and Star Jones?

Female.


What sex is Chuck Norris?

Male.





Guys: (infinity)^2+18.5

Girls: -googolplex

Actually, I have the trump card right here:


What sex are Hillary Clinton, Jane Fonda, Rosie O'donnell and Star Jones?

Female.


What sex is Chuck Norris?

Male.





Guys: (infinity)^2+18.5

Girls: -googolplex
good, take chuck norris, you can have that filthy thing. us ladies have jenna jameson, jessica biel, angelina jolie, carmen electra, tara reid and of course, nicole and i. what would AF be without your ladies? :rofl:

guys- chuck norris may have counted to infinity twice but he sure isn't going to get you anywhere near close to an infinity points :p

girls - it's not even fair anymore to keep comparing us, we're just blowing you away hehehe

good, take chuck norris, you can have that filthy thing. us ladies have jenna jameson, jessica biel, angelina jolie, carmen electra, tara reid and of course, nicole and i. what would AF be without your ladies? :rofl:

guys- chuck norris may have counted to infinity twice but he sure isn't going to get you anywhere near close to an infinity points :p

girls - it's not even fair anymore to keep comparing us, we're just blowing you away hehehe


k now you're -gv64 just for being arrogant. gv64 is graham's number, which apparently is the largest number ever used in a math problem.


http://www-users.cs.york.ac.uk/susan/cyc/g/graham.htm

k now you're -gv64 just for being arrogant. gv64 is graham's number, which apparently is the largest number ever used in a math problem.


http://www-users.cs.york.ac.uk/susan/cyc/g/graham.htm
good thing u explained it cuz i had no idea what it was. boys are always bragging about the wonderful things they invent. but reading about graham's number, it sounds rather pointless cuz it is so ridiculously large it is a very difficult concept to grasp, much less right down. does it have any significant purpose besides just being the biggest? minus more points of inventing pointless stuff if that's true ;)

good thing u explained it cuz i had no idea what it was. boys are always bragging about the wonderful things they invent. but reading about graham's number, it sounds rather pointless cuz it is so ridiculously large it is a very difficult concept to grasp, much less right down. does it have any significant purpose besides just being the biggest? minus more points of inventing pointless stuff if that's true ;)


I have something ridiculously large, and it's very easy to grasp.:naughty:






Seriously though. I do.














Potty Humor... will it ever get old?:grinno:

Where's bleeddodge? He would have some sweet comments for this. That or he would throw a curveball and say girls win cause they cook and do dishes?

I have something ridiculously large, and it's very easy to grasp.:naughty:






Seriously though. I do.














Potty Humor... will it ever get old?:grinno:
you are an even bigger AF slut than vanessa...and i didn't even know that was possible.

and potty humor probably won't get old but it does get you vacations..too bad it doesn't work like that for you

I have something ridiculously large, and it's very easy to grasp.:naughty:






Seriously though. I do.














Potty Humor... will it ever get old?:grinno:


:uhoh: please god no

Where's bleeddodge? He would have some sweet comments for this. That or he would throw a curveball and say girls win cause they cook and do dishes?
how could you forget the laundry! and the catering to our magnificent boyfriends and husbands. i love my apron so much, please don't ever make me take it off.










:screwy: ...

you are an even bigger AF slut than vanessa...and i didn't even know that was possible.

and potty humor probably won't get old but it does get you vacations..too bad it doesn't work like that for you


Speaking of Vacations, I'll be gone for the weekend, so just consider me 'banned' till Sunday.


Happy?:icon16:

When my gf cooks for me i do the dishes. I think its polite as she took the time to cook for me, its the least i could do. I also do my own laundry.

Speaking of Vacations, I'll be gone for the weekend, so just consider me 'banned' till Sunday.


Happy?:icon16:
noooo! cuz i'll miss you! please please don't take me on vacation with you :rolleyes:

and about that ridiculously large thing that's easy to grasp, are you talking about the pickle jar again? we already went over this...no more pickles until i get to the store. or if u want to chip in. with all ur slut money u should have no problem...lol

You know why guys are simple? I'm not even going to deny it. We're very simple. It's called...
...
... ready?
...
...
... LOGIC!

The Abrams is protected by a type of composite armor (derived from British Chobham armour) formed by multiple layers of steel and ceramics. It may also be fitted with reactive armor if needed (as in the Urban Survival Kit); however, this modification has never actually been performed. Fuel and ammunition are in armored compartments with blow-off covers to reduce the risk of and protect the crew from cooking off if the tank is damaged. Protection against spalling is provided by a Kevlar liner. Beginning in 1988, M1A1 tanks received improved armor packages that incorporated depleted uranium (DU) mesh in their armor at the front of the turret and the front of the hull.

http://www.demonwyld.com/dx/abram4.jpg



:smooch:

i know stuff about tanks too..they're big and heavy and typically (always?) have a big gun in them. people are inside them too.

well since u had to rub it in that ur sooo tank-intelligent, idk if i want to help you boys next time you need hair and make up, fashion or girl advice...so there!

Well not usually, the infantry tanks usually had a big gun compared to people, because well obviously they're infantry tanks.. Also hair and make up, fashion/girl advice isnt really as important, as something that will kill you..

And girl advice from you isnt really the best because you usually refer to yourself, so unless we were trying to get on your good side its typically pointless. :p

Well not usually, the infantry tanks usually had a big gun compared to people, because well obviously they're infantry tanks.. Also hair and make up, fashion/girl advice isnt really as important, as something that will kill you..

And girl advice from you isnt really the best because you usually refer to yourself, so unless we were trying to get on your good side its typically pointless. :p
you can die from stuff i know about too... you can die from tampons, bet some of you didn't know that. also you should never share mascara or other eye makeup cuz u don't want other people's germs for example. same goes for lip gloss. when you go for a job interview, you want to look good. if you don't, you won't get the job. then you have no money. no money=no food=death see? you need my girlie advice

and i do too give decent girl advice. u have to give me some credit, being a girl makes me some sort of an expert on ladies by default ;)

Didnt you read my previous point? It usually refers to you..

anyway, not like i'll be using any female products so it isnt that dangerous, and you only have to go off your looks if you're stupid..

Another one for the guys.

you can die from stuff i know about too... you can die from tampons, bet some of you didn't know that. also you should never share mascara or other eye makeup cuz u don't want other people's germs for example. same goes for lip gloss. when you go for a job interview, you want to look good. if you don't, you won't get the job. then you have no money. no money=no food=death see? you need my girlie advice

and i do too give decent girl advice. u have to give me some credit, being a girl makes me some sort of an expert on ladies by default ;)
I knew about the whole sharing mascara shares more germs than sharing chewed gum. but how the hell can you die from a tampon? and i don't mean in some freak accident, i mean from normal use.

and about job interviews, all i need to do is wear nice clothes (i have 2 sisters, basicly 3 mothers, so i know how to dress for a job interview), take a shower, make sure my hair is cut nicely (same cut every time for the past 5 years) and go.

I knew about the whole sharing mascara shares more germs than sharing chewed gum. but how the hell can you die from a tampon? and i don't mean in some freak accident, i mean from normal use.

and about job interviews, all i need to do is wear nice clothes (i have 2 sisters, basicly 3 mothers, so i know how to dress for a job interview), take a shower, make sure my hair is cut nicely (same cut every time for the past 5 years) and go.
u guys have it easy..for us ladies we have to pick out something nice and classy, make sure it doesn't look like we're trying to use our body to get the job while still looking strong, confidant and sexy. we have to do our hair, our make up and all that too.

as far as dying from tampons, ur only supposed to leave them in for up to 8 hours per tampon. if you leave them in for longer, you are at risk for developing TSS (toxic shock syndrome), a fatal bacterial infection. the tampon being in there can sometimes be a place where the bacteria form and it will typically kill her within hours. my friend recently managed to get a tampon stuck in her for 3 days..i can't believe she's still alive.

that's disgusting, it's bad enough i have to sit through all those tampon commercials on tv, now i have to know they can potentially kill people in a gross sounding manner, ugh.

and i know, guys do have it alot easier, that's why i love being one.

speaking of tampons http://www.tamparacing.com/photopost/data/500/looks.gif

that's disgusting, it's bad enough i have to sit through all those tampon commercials on tv, now i have to know they can potentially kill people in a gross sounding manner, ugh.

and i know, guys do have it alot easier, that's why i love being one.
what's so bad about tampon commercials? its always just a bunch of ladies running around smiling in their underwear or bikinis. oh..i get it..ur not into that sorta of thing..

you can die from stuff i know about too... you can die from tampons, bet some of you didn't know that. also you should never share mascara or other eye makeup cuz u don't want other people's germs for example. same goes for lip gloss. when you go for a job interview, you want to look good. if you don't, you won't get the job. then you have no money. no money=no food=death see? you need my girlie advice

and i do too give decent girl advice. u have to give me some credit, being a girl makes me some sort of an expert on ladies by default ;)
Im sorry but if a guy somehow died from a tampon i think he deserved it and i dont ever want to know how he did it.

haha!! ok she aint OWNED!! cause no way in hell is she going to get up and get what she wants herself, first of all, try pushing an 8pound hcild outta your dick, and try to act yourself for the few weeks after and try having about 10 pounds more only around your tummy and try not to complain abotu your back..so HA! anywayz its true that men have life easier then us, but you didnt mention anything about inteligence of a man :P..women are wayyyyyyyyy smarter then men and it has been prooved =D so even if we are slow, we're smart (H)

P..women are wayyyyyyyyy smarter then men and it has been prooved =D so even if we are slow, we're smart (H)

then how come you can't type right. :P

cause i suck *laughs* ive always wrote extremly bad, ...but we're still smarter!

cause i suck *laughs* ive always wrote extremly bad, ...but we're still smarter!
yeah ur typing is rather difficult to read but u got it right, us ladies are way better. so glad to see i'm finally not alone on this :p that makes 2 intelligent people on AF now..:rofl:

and well glenn ur kinda femmy with ur emo music tastes so u count as half a woman

HEY just because i got better hips than you dont mean im femmy