becareful of those curries!!!!!

Notes From An Inexperienced Curry Taster Named FRANK, who was
visiting Phoenix, Durban, South Africa from the U.S. "Recently I was
honoured to be selected as a judge at a curry cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking directions to the beer wagon when the call came. I was assured by the other two judges (couple of local Indians) that the curry wouldn't be all that spicy, and besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted. Here are the
scorecards from the event:
________________________________________
Curry # 1: Manoj's Maniac Mobster Monster Curry JUDGE ONE: A
little too heavy on tomato. Amusing kick. JUDGE TWO: Nice, smooth tomato flavour.
Very mild. FRANK: Holy ****, what the hell is this stuff? You
could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put
the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Indian fellows
are crazy.

__________________________________________
Curry # 2: Applesamy's Afterburner Curry
JUDGE ONE: Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight Jalapeno tang.
JUDGE TWO: Exciting BBQ flavour, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
FRANK: Keep this out of reach of children! I'm not sure what I am
supposed
to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich manoeuvre. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.
___________________________________________
Curry # 3: Farouk's Famous Burn Down the Barn curry
JUDGE ONE: Excellent firehouse curry! Great kick. Needs morebeans.
JUDGE TWO: A beanless curry, a bit salty, good use of red peppers.
FRANK: Call Colesburg, I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I
have been snorting Domestos. Everyone knows the routine by now, get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back; now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting ****-faced
from all the beer.
__________________________________________
Curry # 4: Barbu's Black Magic
JUDGE ONE: Black bean curry with almost no spice. Disappointing.
JUDGE TWO: Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for
fish or other mild foods, not much of a curry.
FRANK: I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to
taste it, is it possible to burn-out taste buds? Savathree, the barmaid,
was standing behind me with fresh refills; that 300 lb. bitch is starting
to look HOT, just like this nuclear waste I'm eating. Is curry an
aphrodisiac?
____________________________________________
Curry # 5: Laveshnee's Legal Lip Remover
JUDGE ONE: Meaty, strong curry. Cayenne peppers freshly
ground,adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
JUDGE TWO: Curry using shredded beef; could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
FRANK: My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and
can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed
hospital treatment. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that
her curry had given me brain damage. Savathree saved my tongue from
bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from a pitcher. I wonder if I'm
burning my lips off?
It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop
screaming.
___________________________________________
Curry # 6: Vera's Very Vegetarian Variety
JUDGE ONE: Thin yet bold vegetarian variety curry. Good balance
of spice and peppers.
JUDGE TWO: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic.
Superb.
FRANK: My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous,
sulphuric flames. I **** myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat
through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except
that slut Savathree, she must be kinkier than I thought. Can't feel my
lips anymore. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone! :hehehe:
____________________________________________
Curry # 7: Sugash's Screaming Sensation Curry
JUDGE ONE: A mediocre curry with too much reliance on canned
peppers.
JUDGE TWO: Ho Hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of curry peppers at the last moment. I should note that I am worried about
Judge Number 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
FRANK: You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a damn thing. I've lost the sight in one eye, and the world
sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with curry
which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava-like
**** to match my damn shirt. At least during the autopsy they'll know
what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful. Screw it,
I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in
through the 4 inch hole in my stomach.
____________________________________________
Curry # 8: Hansraj's Mount Saint Curry
JUDGE ONE: A perfect ending, this is a nice blend curry, safe for
all, not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
JUDGE TWO: This final entry is a good, balanced curry, neither
mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge Number 3
passed out, fell over and pulled the curry pot down on top of himself. Not
sure if he's going to make it. Poor Yank, wonder how he'd have reacted
to a really hot curry?
FRANK: --------------(editor's note: Judge #3 was unable to
report)


:eek: :D

MMMMMM....CUUUUURRY:licker: :licker: :licker: :licker: :licker: :licker:

http://files.automotiveforums.com/uploads/409124bizarre006.jpg
:silly2: :silly2: :silly2: :silly2: :silly2: :silly2: :silly2: :silly2: :silly2:

Some poeple have to much time on their hands at their jobs :hehe:

Originally posted by taranaki
MMMMMM....CUUUUURRY:licker: :licker: :licker: :licker: :licker: :licker:

http://files.automotiveforums.com/uploads/409124bizarre006.jpg
:silly2: :silly2: :silly2: :silly2: :silly2: :silly2: :silly2: :silly2: :silly2:

ahh the ever dependable MR.T always got the right pic for the right occasion :lol2: :sun:

hahahah, I feel 3rd guys pain!

*roflmao* I had tears welling up from laughing so bloody hard!!!