Ali G's relationship quiz

Remember woman iz more imature dan men, tho dey always claim de opposite. I do not know wot 'imature' means, but to help u furver hunderstand da mind off woman ans apply dis knolege practickly to your relationships, here iz a test

1 You come home one night and your lady says to u 'do you love me?' wot do u do?
a/ say yes.
b/ say 'I glove u very much' and hope she dont notice.
c/ say 'I love u too' den under your breaf say 'specially deir 2nd hablum'.
d/ ignore de question and ansa sumfin totally diferent - eg. 'I believe itz called Paris. Gotta go'
e/ start to sneeze, vomit on yourself or fall over sumfin and hactually hurt yourself badly.

2 Ya bitch comes home, opens da door and discovers u doin it snoop doggy style wiv de girl from de newsagents. Wot do u do?
a/ hapologise.
b/ say ' it wasnt me' in a Shaggy style voice and larf histerikly.
c/ say 'i iz just warmin it up for u'.
d/ u iz dead anyway, so u might as well ask her to join in.
e/ turn to your girlfriend and say 'ah diz iz me mum - has u met her fefore, coz de one dat u finks u has met aint hactually me mum'.

3 u fancy ya girlfriend's sista. how do you hachieve de 3-heada?
a/ dismiss de hole idea. It would be unfair on ya missus watever her answer waz.
b/ tell her dat u has noticed dat her and her sista aint got nuffink in common, and dat iz why u should let her bone u.
c/ arks her diz question: 'if u could stop a nucklear holocost by gettin jiggy wiv anuver woman would you do it?' if she says yes, say 'well u should keep it in da family - howzabout ya sista?' If she says 'yes', say 'shouldnt u be practisin coz u dont wanna suddenly be in dat situation and not know wot to do innit'.
d/ tell de sista dat u want her to house-sit while u iz both away, butbe careful of ghosts. If she does meet any ghosts den she should bone dem. Den tell her to keep de ghosts she must pretend to be u and speak like u and where your pijamas. Den make de room well dark and tell ya woman dat dere iz a ghost in de room and it might have tits. Den let de gamez begin.

4 your lady has just gone and got herself a new skirt from top shop. She puts it on and arks u weather it make her batty look big. It does, wot do u say?
a/ 'no, of course not me darlin. Wot batty, me didnt even know u had one coz it iz so small and not big'.
b/ start singing 'hey fatty boom boom'.
c/ say 'not dat much fatter dan any ovver part of u'.
d/ stay silent for a few seconds, den say 'sorry i didnt realise who u waz, i fought Roseanne woz in me bedroom'.

5 it iz valentine's day wot do u get her?
a/ a dozen red roses [not plastic]
b/ de new bustarhymes cd dat u want.
c/ tell her dat u iz takin her on a shoppin spree and she can buy de most hexpensive fing in da shop. Den take her to da 'everyfin for a pound shop.
d/ get de most hexpensive ribbon u can buy and tie it round your helmet.


(from Ali G's book 'Da gospel according to Ali G) it iz well funny . . . I
:D

Ali G's answers later:finger:

haha nice

I have to go see AliG in da House when it comes out here.

sarujin

HEY!!! I WANT THE ANSWERS NOW!!! :mad:

haha lol id pick all the anwsers that would make me in big trouble:D

Originally posted by Damien
HEY!!! I WANT THE ANSWERS NOW!!! :mad:

STOP WHINING:mad: [/arnold]

Seeing as Damien is getting impatient.

Ali G's answers.

1 'd'
2 'e'. If you answered 'e' - dis will not work if ge girl iz clearly much younger dan u. If dis iz de case, u should intrajuice her as ya sista.
3 'd'.
4 'd' coz dis iz witty she will like u even more dan she did before.
5 'd'

:frog:

That sheit was hard to read, but funny as hell for some reason...