I need SERIOUS help guys: Family Matter

Alright very long story slightly shorter. Without detail unless soembody needs it.

One of my best friends got pregnant 2 years ago. Her boyfriend and her did the right thing and got engaged, etc. Boyfriend's parents are rich. Boyfriend's parents told the two that if they didn't come back to (the boy's home state), they were cut off. So they left without warning almost immedietly to go to STATE. When they got there he basically dumped her and they got joint custody. ok so basically he :dupe:d her into going to his state so she couldn't come back home and he was free to live his life under mommy and daddy's wing. His mommy thought the two wouldn't be fit enough parents, so she devised this whole scheme. ouch. So FRIEND is stuck up there, with joint custody... and unable to return home.
Alright, now... he took the child and has, as of yet, to give her back to her. It's been a month. She's desperate to get her child back, desperate to come home, she's a thousand miles away and has no friends and is just trying to survive and has no idea what to do.

I know very little about this since my child-birthing skills aren't what they used to be:wink:. She doesn't know who to ask or turn to and I figured of the smart minds we've got here, somebody would know something, or at least know some form of path to follow...

Wow, that is quite a situation..

I'd kick FRIEND's ass

I'm puzzled by this intial "right thing" to do??? :sly:

other than that, it's court BS. To discuss anything on custody. how to get her kid back, etc. you'll need to give details 'cause from this, she's screwed and just needs to move home.

This is what lawyers are for.

:frown: From what You describe, it's all in the court's court now. She should hook up with Friend of the Court for some legal advice and options, firstly.

Secondly, she should seriously think about getting out of the situation, [i.e., return back home], even sans child if necessary, but that hinges on legal advise firstly. One possible option is to reduce her rights to "visitation" so she can leave easier, and she can always re-file for joint after she gets her s*** back together and stabilizes.

Right now, she's screwed.:banghead:

Man thats really sad. just keep on supporting her, I would kick that rich kids ass. little bastard.

yeah, what they all said.

Or kidnap child, kill him and family, hook up with her.

I recommend you dont do that, and instead get legal help. She needs to have her life together and then she could try to get full custody saying how he is an unfit parent and is neglecting the kid and leaving with his parents. And if she has a decent job and a stable home she can do it. Courts usually favor moms.

Theres only one sane option......get drunk

wow, thats a textbook worst case scenario. i agree with a lawyer. the only thing is RICH PARENTS can afford EXPENSIVE LAWYER. so... best of luck. hope this situation plays out nicely.

Theres only one sane option......get drunk

^no.

(do that, and become an alcoholic. Drink to have fun, not to drown sorrow)

This is definately a legal issue. Sure are a lot of ??? Did they get married? When you say joint custody who determined that and what is the agreement?
If he's in violation of the agreement she can get a lawyer that can make her rich off of 'mommy and daddy"

Wish her the best

thats true, for varous things a lawsuit can be tossed at mommy and daddy *and at the rick prick for that matter* but if they wernt married, and it wasnt a court that rendered that decision good luck to ya.

Important thing about custody: are there any court documents which state there is joint custody? If not, either parent has the right to have the child. If there IS a court document, then she should rely on what that says.

There is also the matter of physical vs legal custody. For the physical, this states who the child lives with. For the legal, this states who makes the decisions in the child's upbringing. She may have any variety of custody situations.

What it comes down to is what's written in the court documents. If you can find out more about what (if any) there are, we'll be able to get a better handle on the situation.

Previous advice is correct though, she will need some legal assistance, probably, before this is all over. (Unless she chooses just to leave without the baby and possibly pay child support, which from your description she probably won't do)

Oh yeah, and rich kid? He's a spineless puss that can't hack it on his own.

Thats a even more big of a deal when things can actually come to this in reality

ummmm....what's joint custody?

ummmm....what's joint custody?

Joint physical custody is where both parents share time with the child, about evenly (I'm in VA so am familiar with that state)

Joint legal custody means that the parents have an equal say in raising the child, as in making decisions about what schools they'll attend, what sports they'll get into, what religion they're raised in, etc.

Usually one parent has primary physical custody(the child is with them most of the time) and visitation with the other parent. Then, depending on the situation (usually whether or not the father wants to be involved) the parents decide, or have decided by the court, the legal custody.

Clear as mud?

oh, that's fucked up. My brain's saying get a lawyer and better hope he's as good as the rich parent's but my gut's just saying go in there, kick his ass and take the girl and kid

ohh boy. this is gonna get sticky. I just tried to call to get some more info, but to no avail. thanks so much for the help, I want her back here with the little one bad and it's awfully important. She can't just leave her. That's not really an option.

Guardian ad litem. She's going to need one if the courts require it, and yes both parties can interview them. That's what I did when I went through my divorce, ended up with one who was friendly towards dads which worked out in my benefit.

FUCK I HATE THIS KINDA SHIT, ,THAT GUY IS A ASSS, so are his parents

alright, for further help; yes they have court paper JOINT CUSTODY. so where to go from here?

lawer, hes in violation and so you have options. Unfortunally the rich assholes can claim she has no right to be apart because her life is unstable "no home/job/friends out there/references...etc"

she needs to get home, and get a job and start right away with the court process. If she starts and does nothin with her life they have alot against her.

she's got a place and she's got a job and she said she was enrolled in school too. And she's got a roommate and some friends. So that's shot. He keeps saying she's an unfit mother, but for no reason.

alright, for further help; yes they have court paper JOINT CUSTODY. so where to go from here?

Ok so Joint Custody; does the court paper state LEGAL or PHYSICAL or both?

If she has joint physical, then he is violating her rights by keeping the child away, since she has as much right/time with the baby as he does.

Importantly, is there any visitation schedule laid out in the court paper? If so, he has to abide by it or face charges.

Now a complication you've put in is that he keeps saying she is an unfit mother; in those circumstances he's got to prove it, but while he's doing so he might be legally allowed to keep the child away from her....this also might give him leverage later, to say basically, "Look, the kid is fine with me, so I should have primary physical custody".

Make sure she at least consults with an attorney, and keep in mind all this stuff is Virginia (where I know you are Cyprus, but probably not her)