Updated Nursery Rhymes

Mary had a little skirt
with splits right up the sides
and every time that Mary walked
the boys could see her Thighs
Mary had another skirt
twas split right up the front
...but she didn't wear that one very often


Mary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
between two chunks of bread.


Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet,
her clothes all tattered and torn.
It wasn't the spider that crept beside her,
But Little Boy Blue and his horn.


Simple Simon met a Pieman, going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pieman,
What have you got there?
Said the Pieman unto Simon,
Pies, you dickhead.
(NO I'm not simple:flipa: )


Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings horses and all the kings men,
said "F*ck him, He's only an egg.


Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings horses and all the kings men,
had scrambled eggs for breakfast again.


Mary had a little lamb
It ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up it's ass
and its wool turned into nylon


Georgie Porgy pudding and pie.
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too, cause he was gay.


Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
to have a little fun.
Jill, that dill
Forgot her pill
And now they have a son.


Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
to fetch her poor dog a bone.
When she bent over
Rover took over,
And gave her a bone of his own.


Little Boy Blew.
Hey. He needed the money.
:silly2:

haha thats some good stuff tazdev, lol:D

Originally posted by tazdev
(NO I'm not simple:flipa: )


Can't be that bright forgot to mention your B'Day so we could get you presents.

The Panda said he'd get you!!!

:flipa: :finger: :flipa: :finger: :flipa: :finger: :evillaugh :evillaugh :evillaugh

It's not about the presents its the CHEEPER car insurance:D

Originally posted by tazdev
It's not about the presents its the CHEEPER car insurance:D

Refer the Panda's previous comment!!!
:p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p

Of course its about the presents ;) :D ;)

Funny stuff there Simon...and go for the presents,buddy.They won't keep coming forever.;)

That one definently proved your quote there Taz! :D :silly2:

Good ones there Mr Tazdev! :D :hehehe:

When Mary had a little lamb
The doctor he did cry
When Old McDonald had a farm
the doctor f#@king died:D

:silly2: :silly2: :silly2: :silly2: :silly2: ROFL, those were SO F*CK'N corny, they just had to be funny:finger: :D :silly2:

Righto then. Simon's new catchphrase: "Pies, you dickhead" :p :p :p :p :D :D :D :D

:finger: to you Mr Moon :D

I have to say that those are truly hilarious!!!

I'm sure everyone knows this one, but:

Cinderella was walking along a path and recognizes Pinocchio ahead. She ran straight up to him, knocks him straight to the ground on his back, sits on his face and says "Lie to me! Lie to me!" :rolleyes:

Originally posted by saturntangerine

Cinderella was walking along a path and recognizes Pinocchio ahead. She ran straight up to him, knocks him straight to the ground on his back, sits on his face and says "Lie to me! Lie to me!" :rolleyes:

:eek2: TANGIE:eek:

Cinderella was walking along a path and recognizes Pinocchio ahead. She ran straight up to him, knocks him straight to the ground on his back, sits on his face and says "Lie to me! Lie to me!"

:eek2:












I think tangie has finally proven that she at least can no longer use the :angel: smilie. :D


Which seems to have been proven many times?

Hey! :mad: What happened to my explanation post??? :(

Now no one will believe me when I tell why I even know it. :(

I had just gotten home from hanging out with some of my more... *ahem*creative*ahem* friends, and Pat told me that joke. It was terrible, but worth a giggle, so I figured I'd add this new-found Disturbed Disney theme to the Fractured Fairy Tales idea...

Originally posted by saturntangerine
Hey! :mad: What happened to my explanation post??? :(

Now no one will believe me when I tell why I even know it. :(

I had just gotten home from hanging out with some of my more... *ahem*creative*ahem* friends, and Pat told me that joke. It was terrible, but worth a giggle, so I figured I'd add this new-found Disturbed Disney theme to the Fractured Fairy Tales idea...

Sorry about that tangie.....I'm sorry :(

That's a good one though, never heard it before:D

The joke I mean ;) :D