Bad, Drunken Pickup Lines

I walk into my AutoCAD class, and there's my professor reading pickup lines to the small class. some of them were pretty funny. other were... well:
"I'm an astronaut. My next mission is Uranus"
"I want to put my face on your ass and hold your fart in like a bong hit"

So i thought i'd make a thread about some pickup lines you may have used. I don't use any,personally, but there are nights when i've had too many...

last one's i remember were:
"[calls girl over with a finger] See, i made you come with one finger. Imagine what i can do with two"
:shakehead
and then the one i don't remember, but friend recorded for me:
"I have 300 numbers in my phone. half of which are girls, a third of which are mine..."
:screwy:

Just curuious, anyone ever use any stupid lines before? or know of any that'd make us laugh?

pickup lines are over rated.

^yeah, like isaid, i don't really use 'em, but there are a lot of funny ones that just make me laugh

"so yea. i've been drinking for a while, i managed to get through the kitchen doorway without falling over.."

then i fell over and she walked off.

Heres one a friend of mine used this weekend at the bar. He had like a pimple right by his lip and it looked pretty rough. He walks up to this girl and says "Hi, Im Hudson, I swear this isnt herpes."

my favorite is: walk over to a girl and ask her "how are you doing" and she says "fine" they you reply, "i didn't ask you how u looked"

been known to use that one myself :lol:

best one ever:

"If i said you had a hot body, would you hold it against me?"

lol

"Pass the tartar sauce, you look like a great catch."

How about this, "I see three in your future. You, me, and the shocker".

Don't worry I've never used them.

I'll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle.

You must be a high jumper, because you make my bar raise! :boink:

How about this, "I see three in your future. You, me, and the shocker".

HAAhaha, holy shit, that one's funny

"Hold my beers, I feel like groping you."

Hehehe, :lol: I have a few, you may have already heard them, but they make me giggle :grinyes:

Did you fart, cause you blew me away.

Are your parents retarded, 'cause you sure are special.

My Love for you is like diarrhoea ... I can't hold it in.

Do you have a library card, 'cause I'd like to sign you out.

Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I can see myself in them.

You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away. :grinno:

Man - Fat Penguin !
Woman - WHAT? :screwy:
Man - I just wanted to say something that would break the ice.

I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed-rock.

I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.

Your eyes are as blue as window cleaner.

If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon.

The best for last!
Your face reminds me of a spanner, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up! :rofl:

man... if you were my sister, incest would be totally cool

man... if you were my sister, incest would be totally cool

:eek: I really hope you don't have a sister!!!!

Are your parents retarded, 'cause you sure are special.



:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Hey, baby (she turns) you sure have a nice pair of (she looks angry) arms! (looks stunned as you walk away)

Hey, baby (she turns) you sure have a nice pair of (she looks angry) arms! (looks stunned as you walk away)
because walking away is the best way to get all the girls

just go buy tucker maxes book of pick up lines there are some good some bad some terrible but for the most part all funny lots of them are just dumb things to say to break the ice. on of my favorite ice breakers of his was
" when i die i want to die like my grandpa quietly in my sleep, not like the four screaming passengers."
anything to break the ice maybe she will laugh and then you start talking

because walking away is the best way to get all the girls

Hey, that's why they're BAD DRUNKEN pickup lines, as opposed to effective non drunken pickup lines.

Hey, that's why they're BAD DRUNKEN pickup lines, as opposed to effective non drunken pickup lines.

pickup lines are rarely effective. they're just funny.