English language???

This is The English Language ???

Let's face it -- English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France.

Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?

One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese?
One index, 2 indices?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, you comb through annals of history but not a single annal? (depends of you're Ima I suppose )

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't the preacher praught?

A vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

If you wrote a letter, perhaps you bote your tongue?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.

In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?

Have noses that run and feet that smell?

Park on driveways and drive on parkways?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and wise guy are opposites?

How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike?

How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another.

Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent?

Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown?

Met a sung hero or experienced requited love?

Have you ever run into someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly or piccable?

And where are all those people who ARE spring chickens or who would ACTUALLY hurt a fly?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm clock goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all).

That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it.

If language were written by computers, the alphabet would consist of 2 numbers...0 and 1.

English is a wonderful,living creature.Treat it with respect and it can do wonderful things for you....torture it and you will be presumed by some to be a fool.


:D A nice find,Mr R.

I could swear I saw a thread like this before?

Nope....it was unanswered questions! :thinkerg:

Always makes you think though when someone brings it up:

How can someone be dirt poor, and another be filthy rich?

How can sweet and sour sauce be sweet and sour at the same time?

Why does blow and suck mean the same thing when we describe something being crap?

how can you cut a tree to the ground and then cut it UP?

thats is pretty nifty, alot of people say that the english language is the worst one in the world and wonder why half the world speaks it.

hehe those r true and funny things rag good stuff, but i never realized them our language is weird