Just wrote this, comments?

forever embattered I have stood
being the last angelic guardian on this road.
Living my life as they all said I should,
but yet for all I was I never had an abode.

Walking past on the other trails,
the angels walk with broken wing.
Never again able to set their sails,
with missery as all they can sing.

Its then we met along this forsaken path,
the last heros alive of this denyed race.
The odds of us meeting defy all math,
And yet here we stand face to face.

Droping defences and falsehoods with smiles,
our arms locked 'round one-another forever.
Our wings hide us from the worlds evil styles,
as we kiss knowing true love we have together.

Nice! very nice! :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper

now all it needs is some of steels Guitar, and im sure theres a Drummer in here somewhere.

What moppie said: put it to music. Quite good poetry as it stands now.

never thought of making it into a song, but I am part of a metal band...sooo.... :bandit:

Any other comments?

That was really deep! In fact I had to read it a couple of times, you see I'm a lot older and I still enjoy "She sells sea shells by the shiny sea shore"!

OBTW, my son plays lead guitar in a band that just formed and they like to play Juda Priest stuff. A couple of the guys are in a Metallica tribute band also. I myself like to listen to Megadeth as well as the oldies. I can strum chords and play just a few licks, but my son plays all kinds of lead guitar, Joe Satriani, Steve Vai, Gary Hoey, etc............Rock on........

Thats pretty good dude.

I might have to break out some that I've written to start a poetry war:D

Bring it on!

;)

Yeah.....That was really deep! Adding music could bring it to life more, just don't make it into a metal song.

Did you totally do that on your own!?! I suck at english.....made E's

bah, bodaw ba bawowowowow........ (<my bass) :)
that was really cool. Yeah, put some nice music to it (hard yet soft.... Like Nothing Else Matters) and that would be awesome.

Sumtin' tells me yer one o' those "glass is half empty" kinda guys...

It's good though.

on my own-yes
and the glass is half empty, and not full enough, both at the same time :D

And thanks all

I haven't been braggy enough. I'm a [ooh!!!] PROFESSIONAL [/ooh!!!] drummer. so now you guys know! LOL. [/brag]


















no, really...i'm NOT a stuck up, arrogant sumbitch! I'm modest, I swear!

is your bass drum half full or empty? ;)

I use an old trick employed by Buddy Rich and Gene Krupa at times- a few inches of Shredded newspaper in the bass drum with two full (no holes) heads. resonant, deep and boomy, but not full out "earthquake" mode

Buddy rich is the bomb. I just bought a buddy rich tribute album... Has alot of drummers like Neal Pert, etc. doing his stuff.

That's really awesome!

And I truly hate to do this, as I'm going to look like a beeotch... but there's something about the last line of the first stanza that doesn't seem to flow for me. Then again, I've never been very good at serious poetry. I'm more of a Robert Frost kind of cynic. I only write this to be honest, and leave it to show for my lacking poetic proficiency.

But I truly like everything else about it. The images really formed from the words. Very cool!

So what do you play in the band Terminal?

If its Lead Guitar, then I believe we might have the first ever internet forum Band. :D

Ladies and gentlemen!
Introducing for your entertianment pleasure!

The AFers!!!!!!!!

(crowd goes wild)
:ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper

if its got strings, I can play it (poorly for now...but whatever) so yah, I could do lead :bandit:

and about the last line, first...what you called it :D

I know it dosent flow well, but I had to throw it in because it has special meaning to whom I wrote it for ;)

wow man preety deep, and it was also very good i like it a lot man, ya and if u can u should make it into a song it should do well

a little on the pessimistic side but good