International Rules Of Men

01: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella

02: It is ok for a man to cry under the following circumstances:
a. When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
c. After wrecking your boss' car.
d. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
e. When she is using her teeth.
F... when you role your car...

03: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.

04: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

05: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless you actually marry her.

06: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However, complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

07: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional.

08: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

09: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never, ever ask who's playing.

10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.

11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless supermodel ..and it's free.

12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.

13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.

16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.

17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.

19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.

20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.

21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
a. Yeah, Baby, Push it!
b. C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
c. Another set and we can hit the showers!

22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e. Both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.

24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was occurs.

25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.

26: Thou shall not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.

27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.

28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever

05: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless you actually marry her.

oops hehe :cheers: awesome post

lol nice

23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.

i've had a few 7-8 hour straight conversations with guys. if that rule is true, i'm still waiting

23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.

i've had a few 7-8 hour straight conversations with guys. if that rule is true, i'm still waiting

Well, if you feel like making a trip to Florida...

I love the classics :lol:

Well, if you feel like making a trip to Florida...

What do ya mean alabama's closer

I love the classics :lol:

As in reposts, right?

Pretty good. I had a good laugh. 27. was great!

As in reposts, right?

Dont get negative

alabama's closer

Ah, yes. Alabama. Where the men are men and the women are too.

thats class i like this one ........ On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

so so true haha !! :)

Glad im not one of those guys, 7 hour convo is alot..

Glad im not one of those guys, 7 hour convo is alot..
7 hours of anything is a lot

Excellent!:sunglasse

Glad im not one of those guys, 7 hour convo is alot..


I've gone about 4 hours on the phone. I could last that long in the bed if I got a couple of pit stops. Maybe a bottle of gatorade or two....

17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

This one is almost true except the sober part......6 tequila shots and a few buds. But hey I was ready to scrap(almost did)

26: Thou shall not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.




I believe the lime green coment must be retracted for this car:
http://www.moparts.org/moparts/picture/members/four/pic/ZEP71Cuda.jpg

I believe the lime green coment must be retracted for this car:
http://www.moparts.org/moparts/picture/members/four/pic/ZEP71Cuda.jpg
silly boy, that's a muted olive, not lime green :nono:

meh...I'm a guy so green is green.

However, i do belive that that cuda was sold as a lime green (do note the car is in the shade so the actual color might be lighter). Anyway mopar experts feel free to chime in.

here is a better pic:
http://www.superstylings.com/ebaysales/carposter4sale/billTaszarek2poster4sale.jpg

Glad im not one of those guys, 7 hour convo is alot..
7 hours wasn't a lot for your favorite stang boy

7 hours of anything is a lot
i could go for 7 more hours of drinking...

HAHAHA, guys don't have different shades of colours. Blue is blue, there's no baby blue, navu blue etc..

I'm so guilty of this and it drives women insane for some odd reason.


I.E.
Woman- What colour do you like better?
Me- Ummm....They're both pink
Woman- NO IT'S NOT YOU PRICK!!!

7 hours wasn't a lot for your favorite stang boy

Who are you talking about? I havent talked to a guy for 7 hours on the phone, usually its a simple "Sup" "You coming over/going to get me?" "Yeah" "Alright, later" and thats about it.. longest convo was about an hour but we were calling because we were helping each other out over an online game.. :lol:

I could last that long in the bed if I got a couple of pit stops. Maybe a bottle of gatorade or two....

Meh. Tis a mere flesh wound.

Oh...and yes...cuda = cool car...but that color green is simply putrid.

thats not a convo :lol:

thats teamwork!

Meh. Tis a mere flesh wound.

Oh...and yes...cuda = cool car...but that color green is simply putrid.

I personally think that green color can only be pulled off by Muscle car mopars..

22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e. Both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.


i have an issue with this one...when i'm peeing in a public bathroom, i never EVER want another guy to talk to me, i don't care if he's peeing right next to me, that's just wrong. which brings up the fact that he had better not be in the urinal directly next to me unless that is the only one open. i'm surprised no one else has brought this up. those are just some of the unwritten rules of a men's public restroom.
the only time that i can possibly see some form of conversation would be while you're both washing your hands. we're talking one, maybe two words MAX.

but other than that...i loved it

I liked them. Where are the international rules of women?

I liked them. Where are the international rules of women?

Uh.. maybe never share a tampon after use?

OP: Best Thread Ever, next to my Chuch Norris thread.

Uh.. maybe never share a tampon after use?
...eww besides, that's not even possible. do you even know how tampons work? try dropping one in a glass of water.

Who are you talking about?
wes. i figured you would know who i was referring to since you talk about him practically more than i do. and it's ok to admit you're jealous of his mustang ;)

Speaking of urinal ettiquete...http://www.drinknation.com/urinaltest.php lol

International Rules of Women

1. There are no rules. We're all inconsistent.

International Rules of Women

1. There are no rules. We're all inconsistent.

if you're all inconsisent then you become consistent as a whole, thereby making you all conform to the rule of widespread consistency.

had to be put right.

hahah that is good.. okay I have a dispute over the limited phone call ... what if the guy doesnt last but 2 minutes but im still not finished ...

if you're all inconsisent then you become consistent as a whole, thereby making you all conform to the rule of widespread consistency.

had to be put right.

What is this? Be smarter than Nicole day...

Uh....symbolism?

Uh....symbolism?

nice...

nice...

I thought so too...

don't make me give you "that look"..

hahah that is good.. okay I have a dispute over the limited phone call ... what if the guy doesnt last but 2 minutes but im still not finished ...

No offence or anything, but if that's you in your sig, you being finished wouldn't be an issue...sex drugs and rock 'n' roll? I have 2 3rds of that easily covered...

Ok...my semi-drunken rant is over.

Anyway...

Sure...all girls being inconsistant would make them consistant in some way, but the fact that, generally speaking, they are completely nuts and have NO rhyme, reason or consistancy and THIS makes them inconsistant.

No offence or anything, but if that's you in your sig, you being finished wouldn't be an issue...sex drugs and rock 'n' roll? I have 2 3rds of that easily covered...

Ok...my semi-drunken rant is over.

Anyway...

Sure...all girls being inconsistant would make them consistant in some way, but the fact that, generally speaking, they are completely nuts and have NO rhyme, reason or consistancy and THIS makes them inconsistant.


thats not her thats her hot friend

thats not her thats her hot friend
hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe

lol...hot she is.

27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.


not taking that chance, some chicks are fuckin crazy

Well, if you feel like making a trip to Florida...


the forums are not a dating service...

This is the third thread in recent memory that has the boys "girl crazy" so to speak. :)

haha those are really funny

This is the third thread in recent memory that has the boys "girl crazy" so to speak. :)
us AF ladies are just that talented, sexy and irresistable. just wait until we get those AF thongs. those were real and not just a photoshop job by someone, right? cuz i do really want one

Only in my own mind, us AF ladies are just that talented, sexy and irresistable. just wait until we get those AF thongs. those were real and not just a photoshop job by someone, right? cuz i do really want one


I had to correct the post above.....sorry for the inconvinence.

wes. i figured you would know who i was referring to since you talk about him practically more than i do. and it's ok to admit you're jealous of his mustang ;)

You bring him up, not me, then I just talk BS about him, you know how it is.

Also i'd rather have a nonrunning fbody than a Mustang.. and thats how it is right now. :lol2:

You bring him up, not me, then I just talk BS about him, you know how it is.

Also i'd rather have a nonrunning fbody than a Mustang.. and thats how it is right now. :lol2:
my hot boy and his mustang>you and your nonrunning fbody. even the luminator could own your car right now. how does that make you feel? teehehe

How does that make me feel? Indifferent really since it doesnt run and only when it doesnt run is when your Lumina could beat it :p

Also I could care less if you think that he is hot, although that seems to be all you care about. Call him next time