Evening Jokes (18+ warning)
Setanta
06-24-2002, 09:07 AM
An Italian, a frenchman and an Aussie were sitting in a bar bragging about their love-making abilities.
The Frenchman starts by telling them how he makes love to his wife.
"First i take ze bottle of Champagne, pour it all over my lovely wife's body and lick it all up. She enjoys it so much her body rises up from ze bed in sheer pleasure".
The Italian is next.
"First i take-a de bottle of Vino, pour it all over my lovely wife's body and lick it all up. She enjoys it so much her body rises up from de bed in sheer pleasure".
The Aussie is unimpressed.
"Bah !! You guys are bloody amateurs !!. When i finish playing hide the salami, i wipe me dick on the curtains and my wife bloody well HITS THE ROOF" !!
The Frenchman starts by telling them how he makes love to his wife.
"First i take ze bottle of Champagne, pour it all over my lovely wife's body and lick it all up. She enjoys it so much her body rises up from ze bed in sheer pleasure".
The Italian is next.
"First i take-a de bottle of Vino, pour it all over my lovely wife's body and lick it all up. She enjoys it so much her body rises up from de bed in sheer pleasure".
The Aussie is unimpressed.
"Bah !! You guys are bloody amateurs !!. When i finish playing hide the salami, i wipe me dick on the curtains and my wife bloody well HITS THE ROOF" !!
Setanta
06-24-2002, 09:09 AM
President Bush and Colin Powell are sitting in a bar.
A guy walks in and asks the bartender, "Isn't that Bush and Powell
sitting over there?"
The barman says, "Yep, that's them."
So the guy walks over and says, "Wow, this is a real honour. What are
you guys doing in here?"
Bush says, "We're planning WW III ".
And the guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"
Bush says, "Well, we're going to kill 140 million Arabs this time and one blonde with big tits.
The guy exclaims, "A blonde with big tits? Why kill a blonde with big tits?
Bush turns to Powell, punches Powell on the shoulder and says, "See, smart ass? I told you no one would worry about the 140 million Arabs!"
A guy walks in and asks the bartender, "Isn't that Bush and Powell
sitting over there?"
The barman says, "Yep, that's them."
So the guy walks over and says, "Wow, this is a real honour. What are
you guys doing in here?"
Bush says, "We're planning WW III ".
And the guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"
Bush says, "Well, we're going to kill 140 million Arabs this time and one blonde with big tits.
The guy exclaims, "A blonde with big tits? Why kill a blonde with big tits?
Bush turns to Powell, punches Powell on the shoulder and says, "See, smart ass? I told you no one would worry about the 140 million Arabs!"
Setanta
06-24-2002, 09:18 AM
A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage
of a train. After the initial embarrassment, they both manage to get to sleep; the man on
the top bunk, the woman on the lower.
In the middle of the night the man leans over and says, "I'm sorry, but I'm awfully cold
and I was wondering if you could possibly pass me another blanket?"
The woman leans out and, with a glint in her eye, says, "I've got a better idea... let's
pretend we're married."
"Why not," laughs the man.
"Good," she replies. "Get your own fúcking blanket."
of a train. After the initial embarrassment, they both manage to get to sleep; the man on
the top bunk, the woman on the lower.
In the middle of the night the man leans over and says, "I'm sorry, but I'm awfully cold
and I was wondering if you could possibly pass me another blanket?"
The woman leans out and, with a glint in her eye, says, "I've got a better idea... let's
pretend we're married."
"Why not," laughs the man.
"Good," she replies. "Get your own fúcking blanket."
primera man
06-24-2002, 09:20 AM
ROTFLMAO at that 2nd one :p :D
DVSNCYNIKL
06-24-2002, 10:59 AM
Second and third one are hilarious!!!:D :D
"Pandamonium"
06-24-2002, 03:12 PM
Ahhh...............
Sometime's truth is stranger then fiction.:D :p :D :p :D
The Panda like's a good laugh!!!
:hehe: :hehehe: :hehe: :hehehe: :hehe: :hehehe: :hehe: :hehehe: :hehe:
Sometime's truth is stranger then fiction.:D :p :D :p :D
The Panda like's a good laugh!!!
:hehe: :hehehe: :hehe: :hehehe: :hehe: :hehehe: :hehe: :hehehe: :hehe:
Grendel
06-24-2002, 03:15 PM
Haha, good stuff...
-Grendel
-Grendel
ragt20
06-24-2002, 03:22 PM
:lol2: rofl all funny :hehehe:
but one has heard zem b4 :D
but one has heard zem b4 :D
speediva
06-24-2002, 03:52 PM
I LOVE the third one!
:hehe: :lol2: :hehehe:
:hehe: :lol2: :hehehe:
s7v7n
06-24-2002, 04:25 PM
Hahahahahahaha, very very cute....keep em' coming guys'...
Spec2 Girl
06-24-2002, 05:26 PM
Hahaha very good! :hehehe: :hehehe:
Ando_Rules
06-24-2002, 06:56 PM
hahaha lol :D :D the second one was the best then the frist then the thrid lol:D :D
MaxRX7
06-24-2002, 09:47 PM
boo !!!
D16 V-TEC
06-24-2002, 10:06 PM
Originally posted by MaxRX7
boo !!!
Party Pooper!!!!!!!:flamer: :flamer: :rocket: :rocket: :aug2: :greenchai :badass:
Funny jokes!
boo !!!
Party Pooper!!!!!!!:flamer: :flamer: :rocket: :rocket: :aug2: :greenchai :badass:
Funny jokes!
Ssom
06-25-2002, 02:55 AM
:D :silly2: :silly2: :silly2: :silly2: :silly2: :silly2: :silly2:
especially the second and third one:silly2:
especially the second and third one:silly2:
Nemesis
06-25-2002, 04:43 AM
I woke early one morning,
The earth lay cool and still
When suddenly a tiny bird
Perched on my window sill,
He sang a song so lovely
So carefree and so gay,
That slowly all my troubles
Began to slip away.
He sang of far off places
Of laughter and of fun,
It seemed his very trilling,
Brought up the morning sun.
I stirred beneath the covers
Crept slowly out of bed,
Then gently shut the window
And crushed his fucking head.
I'm not a morning person!
The earth lay cool and still
When suddenly a tiny bird
Perched on my window sill,
He sang a song so lovely
So carefree and so gay,
That slowly all my troubles
Began to slip away.
He sang of far off places
Of laughter and of fun,
It seemed his very trilling,
Brought up the morning sun.
I stirred beneath the covers
Crept slowly out of bed,
Then gently shut the window
And crushed his fucking head.
I'm not a morning person!
moondog
06-25-2002, 04:24 PM
mornings would be fine if you didn't have to get up at the same time during winter as you do in summer - cos it's daaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrk!!!!!!! and coooooooooolllllllllllllld!!!!!!
taranaki
06-25-2002, 11:56 PM
Originally posted by moondog
mornings would be fine if you didn't have to get up at the same time during winter as you do in summer - cos it's daaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrk!!!!!!! and coooooooooolllllllllllllld!!!!!!
Kiwis love to do it in the dark;) and you have such a cute hottie to keep you warm!
mornings would be fine if you didn't have to get up at the same time during winter as you do in summer - cos it's daaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrk!!!!!!! and coooooooooolllllllllllllld!!!!!!
Kiwis love to do it in the dark;) and you have such a cute hottie to keep you warm!
darkness
06-26-2002, 12:32 AM
Originally posted by taranaki
and you have such a cute hottie to keep you warm!
:mad: :angryfire
and you have such a cute hottie to keep you warm!
:mad: :angryfire
[TWUBLE]
06-26-2002, 01:54 AM
Darkness buddie!!! nice picccie of the chickie in your side thingie!! :) hehe
do you really have a cutie hottie pie? lol
do you really have a cutie hottie pie? lol
darkness
06-26-2002, 02:41 AM
Originally posted by [TWUBLE]
Darkness buddie!!! nice picccie of the chickie in your side thingie!! :) hehe
do you really have a cutie hottie pie? lol
unfortunately not, hence the :mad: in my last post.
my current baby at the moment involves 6 cylinders and hairdryer and 4wd.
Darkness buddie!!! nice picccie of the chickie in your side thingie!! :) hehe
do you really have a cutie hottie pie? lol
unfortunately not, hence the :mad: in my last post.
my current baby at the moment involves 6 cylinders and hairdryer and 4wd.
[TWUBLE]
06-26-2002, 02:44 AM
ill lend you my baby if you want... err only he is only 4 months old... but gimie $20 and he's yours!! :)
*ouch* im kidding honey *ouch ouch ouch oh sh!t ouchouch OUUUUCCCCHHHHH*
*ouch* im kidding honey *ouch ouch ouch oh sh!t ouchouch OUUUUCCCCHHHHH*
darkness
06-26-2002, 02:50 AM
Originally posted by [TWUBLE]
ill lend you my baby if you want... err only he is only 4 months old... but gimie $20 and he's yours!! :)
*ouch* im kidding honey *ouch ouch ouch oh sh!t ouchouch OUUUUCCCCHHHHH*
:hehehe: ROFLMAO
ill lend you my baby if you want... err only he is only 4 months old... but gimie $20 and he's yours!! :)
*ouch* im kidding honey *ouch ouch ouch oh sh!t ouchouch OUUUUCCCCHHHHH*
:hehehe: ROFLMAO
tazdev
06-26-2002, 04:26 AM
Good to see you back round these parts TWUBLE
how is little Linkin doing?
how is little Linkin doing?
[TWUBLE]
06-26-2002, 05:50 PM
yeah he's great!!
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