Dilbert Quote's

A magazine ran a "Dilbert Quotes" contest. They were looking for
people to submit quotes from their real life Dilbert-type managers. Here
are the Top Ten finalists:

1. "As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the
building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next
Wednesday and employees will receive their cards in two weeks."

(This was the winning quote from Fred Dales at Microsoft Corp. in
Redmond, WA.)

2. "What I need is an exact list of specific unknown problems we
might encounter."

(Lykes Lines Shipping)

3. "E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It
should be used only for company business."

(Accounting manager,Electric Boat Company)

4. "This project is so important, we can't let things that are more
important interfere with it."

(Advertising/Marketing manager, United Parcel Service)

5. "Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule."

(Plant manager, Delco Corporation)

6. "No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We've
been working on it for months. Now, go act busy for a few weeks
and I'll let you know when it's time to tell them."

(R&D supervisor, Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing/3M Corp.)


7. Quote from the Boss: "Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I
say."

(Marketing executive, Citrix Corporation)

8. My sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled for Monday.
When I told my Boss, he said she died on purpose so that I would
have to miss work on the busiest day of the year. He then asked if
we could change her burial to Friday. He said, "That would be better
for me."

(Shipping executive, FTD Florists)

9. "We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not
going to discuss it with the employees."

(Switching supervisor, AT&T Long Lines Division)

10. "One day my Boss asked me to submit a status report to him
concerning a project I was working on. I asked him if tomorrow
would be soon enough.
He said, "If I wanted it tomorrow, I would have waited until
tomorrow to ask for it!"

(New Business Manager, Hallmark Greeting Cards)

And we wonder why the world is in such a mess.



The Panda believes this removes all doubt!!!

take notice of this other saying...........

"Sometimes it's best to keep one's mouth shut, than to open it and remove all doubts!":rolleyes:

Originally posted by "Pandamonium"
[B]3. "E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It
should be used only for company business."

(Accounting manager,Electric Boat Company)
What's wrong with that? Sounds about right to me!! :hehehe: :hehehe:

i liek the one about the Sister dying and him misisng work was his falut. if that actually happened i would laugh my head off while the boss got beat senseless

Originally posted by carnut
take notice of this other saying...........

"Sometimes it's best to keep one's mouth shut, than to open it and remove all doubts!":rolleyes:

just to be a pedantic sod.....:rolleyes:



It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak, and remove all doubt

Originally posted by moondog


just to be a pedantic sod.....:rolleyes:



It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak, and remove all doubt


:flipa: I resemble that remark:silly2: