Embarassing Story

:spit: :spit: The Most Embarrassing Moment Ever!



It was the summer between my freshman and sophomore year in high school that my friend Doug and I were out at night patrolling the neighborhood for a potential something to do.

This had been our nightly routine for some time now, and was basically an excuse to walk around looking cool and smoke. The night was going its usual pace and after an appetizer of kicking over a few garbage cans and knocking on a couple of doors and running away, it was time for our main course. Now when I say "main course" don't think that there was one all-inclusive, high and mighty event that we use to close the evening with. It was just the time of night that we did whatever it took to exceed our prior doings for that evening.

It was then we saw our destiny. Across the street we spotted two beautiful blonde girls walking together. We crossed the street, approached them, and started our best 'slick-dick' conversation to get them to want to hang with us. Well whatever we said, it worked and they went off walking with us.

I don't recall if it was Doug or I who suggested it, but we asked them if they wanted to go have a seance in this dark alley with us. They agreed and Doug ran home real quick to get a candle from his house to make it official. Upon his return, we began to make our way down the alley, already beginning to speak of death and demons to get the girls in the mood. It's kinda funny how when you are a teenager and you come across someone you want to fuck (which was just about anyone), you subconsciously do the furthest thing from sexual seduction possible. The extent of a 'turn off' I was about to pull, was a horror that not even I could predict.

We made our way to a flat part of the alley, sat in a circle, placed the candle in the center and lit it. We began our best scare technique, that was to the best of our teenage male minds, just what they needed to scare them into sexual submission. Our attempt was meager at best and would have failed to scare a toddler let alone teenage girls. It was then out of desperation, that Doug had an idea that would send me to a state of embarrassment and humiliation that is inconceivable. He leaned over to me and whispered, "Why don't you pull down your pants and fart on the candle flame. It will shoot out a big burst of fire and that will surely scare them." Why that sounded logical to me remains a mystery in my brain to this day but at the time it sounded reasonable.

I began the stealth fumbling to undo my pants and work my fart as close to my anus as possible so it was ready to go. After I was all prepared, I gave a look to Doug to tell him here it goes. In one lightening fast move I stood up, pulled down my pants and positioned my ass over the fire but when I went to fart I shot the biggest stream of diarrhea I have ever created in my life, all over the place. It extinguished the candle creating an exceptionally smelly vapor. It shot all over the laps of the girls who immediately jumped up and ran down the ally screaming. The screaming caused all the dogs down the ally to start barking. All the dogs barking caused numerous back porch lights to come on. And there I stood in the middle of it all, pants down around my ankles, dick blowin' in the wind and shit running down my leg watching Doug run the opposite way down the alley away from me.

It was at that moment I experienced the unbreakable pinnacle of embarrassing moments that I doubt I will ever out do.

And Yes....the story is true.

Had to share this my buddy sent it to me through e-mail :rofl: :rofl: :lol: :lol: :cwm27: :cwm27:

That is soo gross, but I lauged really hard.

:spit: :spit: The Most Embarrassing Moment Ever!



It was the summer between my freshman and sophomore year in high school that my friend Doug and I were out at night patrolling the neighborhood for a potential something to do.

This had been our nightly routine for some time now, and was basically an excuse to walk around looking cool and smoke. The night was going its usual pace and after an appetizer of kicking over a few garbage cans and knocking on a couple of doors and running away, it was time for our main course. Now when I say "main course" don't think that there was one all-inclusive, high and mighty event that we use to close the evening with. It was just the time of night that we did whatever it took to exceed our prior doings for that evening.

It was then we saw our destiny. Across the street we spotted two beautiful blonde girls walking together. We crossed the street, approached them, and started our best 'slick-dick' conversation to get them to want to hang with us. Well whatever we said, it worked and they went off walking with us.

I don't recall if it was Doug or I who suggested it, but we asked them if they wanted to go have a seance in this dark alley with us. They agreed and Doug ran home real quick to get a candle from his house to make it official. Upon his return, we began to make our way down the alley, already beginning to speak of death and demons to get the girls in the mood. It's kinda funny how when you are a teenager and you come across someone you want to fuck (which was just about anyone), you subconsciously do the furthest thing from sexual seduction possible. The extent of a 'turn off' I was about to pull, was a horror that not even I could predict.

We made our way to a flat part of the alley, sat in a circle, placed the candle in the center and lit it. We began our best scare technique, that was to the best of our teenage male minds, just what they needed to scare them into sexual submission. Our attempt was meager at best and would have failed to scare a toddler let alone teenage girls. It was then out of desperation, that Doug had an idea that would send me to a state of embarrassment and humiliation that is inconceivable. He leaned over to me and whispered, "Why don't you pull down your pants and fart on the candle flame. It will shoot out a big burst of fire and that will surely scare them." Why that sounded logical to me remains a mystery in my brain to this day but at the time it sounded reasonable.

I began the stealth fumbling to undo my pants and work my fart as close to my anus as possible so it was ready to go. After I was all prepared, I gave a look to Doug to tell him here it goes. In one lightening fast move I stood up, pulled down my pants and positioned my ass over the fire but when I went to fart I shot the biggest stream of diarrhea I have ever created in my life, all over the place. It extinguished the candle creating an exceptionally smelly vapor. It shot all over the laps of the girls who immediately jumped up and ran down the ally screaming. The screaming caused all the dogs down the ally to start barking. All the dogs barking caused numerous back porch lights to come on. And there I stood in the middle of it all, pants down around my ankles, dick blowin' in the wind and shit running down my leg watching Doug run the opposite way down the alley away from me.

It was at that moment I experienced the unbreakable pinnacle of embarrassing moments that I doubt I will ever out do.

And Yes....the story is true.

Had to share this my buddy sent it to me through e-mail :rofl: :rofl: :lol: :lol: :cwm27: :cwm27:



:rofl:

Damn thats gross as hell..

i was getting ready for some funny joke to be played off. Not gonna lie, didnt see that coming.

MAN thats gross but I cant stop laughing now!!! This made my day! LOL :lol:

i was getting ready for some funny joke to be played off. Not gonna lie, didnt see that coming.
You didnt like it?

i was thinking like he would fart on the flame and it would shoot this huge flame explosion or something and then scare the girls off.

Yea but the whole diarrhea thing is unexpected that is funny.

OH i forgot to mention my buddy had this in his journal/diary whatever you want to call it. He kept a journal cuz his counsler told him to. (LONG ASS STORY)

Wow, thats pretty shitty....



im so clever

LMAO oh man that was funny as hell dude. Seriously disgusting, but funny.

Did you ever see those two girls again?

it wasn't him Jay, some kid emailed it to him

i dunno man, sounds kinda fishy to me. But spawns a great new thread.

Great, another shit story :rolleyes:




Did you see what I did there?

Oh it was funny, just totally didnt see it coming.

:rofl: That was awesome. LOL, I have new found respect for diarrhea. It makes a good story awesome :grinyes:

My buddy emailed me. He was in couneling when he was about 13. His parent divorced, he went to his mother who 1 1/2 years later died of cancer and his father was an abusive prick. So i wasnt hanging out with him at the time. He had stopped writing in it but he decided to read it the other day and he emailed me the story. If it was me id say it. No shame here. But it wasnt. I mean i have a shit story but i dont think its as funny as this one :lol:

lol pretty crappy..
i thought the flames would light the girls hair on fire or something

LOL what a great read, I was expecting him to light his ass on fire or something lol. Very worth the read.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Its like bein back in elementry. Shit and fart jokes galore.

The diarhea was pretty unexpected, I thought he was just gonna drop a deuce right on the spot or something.

Those must've been some stupid or really bored girls.

"Hey! We don't know each other, but do you wanna go down a dark alley and pretend to contact the dead while me and friend secretly scheme a plan to get into your pants?!"

"Sure!"



Funny read though, I laughed out loud. Visualizing a stream of poo shooting out is the best part.

diarhea, cha cha cha

...speaking of elementary school...

I lol'd on this one. My dog was sleeping on the floor at the end of my bed, and I scared the crap out of her from lol'ing. Good story.

I thought you were going to say that you set a falme like 10 feet in the air.

THat was wild but still not as good as "The bathroom Story" lol.