Cards You'll Never See From Hallmark
Setanta
06-12-2002, 08:09 AM
Might be a repost... I hope not:
"Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but
wonder: What the hell was I thinking?"
"Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your wife."
"How could two people as beautiful as you have such an ugly baby?"
"I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After
having met you, I've changed my mind."
"I must admit, you brought religion into my life. I never believed in
Hell until I met you."
"As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am that you're not here to
ruin it for me."
"If I get only one thing for Christmas, I hope it's your sister."
"As you grow older, Mum, I think of all the gifts you've given me. Like
the need for therapy...."
"Thanks for being a part of my life!!! I never knew what evil was before
this!"
"Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go, would you like to
take this knife out of my back? You'll probably need it again."
"Someday I hope to get married, but not to you."
"Happy Birthday! You look great for your age ... almost lifelike!
"When we were together, you always said you'd die for me. Now that we've
broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise."
"I knew the day would come when you would leave me for my best friend.
So here's his leash, water bowl and chew toys."
"We have been friends for a very long time - what say we call it quits?"
"I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're here."
"Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. Did you ever find out who
the father was?"
"You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and there
was only one life jacket.... I'd miss you heaps and think of you often."
"Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday -
so we're having you put to sleep."
"Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but
wonder: What the hell was I thinking?"
"Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your wife."
"How could two people as beautiful as you have such an ugly baby?"
"I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After
having met you, I've changed my mind."
"I must admit, you brought religion into my life. I never believed in
Hell until I met you."
"As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am that you're not here to
ruin it for me."
"If I get only one thing for Christmas, I hope it's your sister."
"As you grow older, Mum, I think of all the gifts you've given me. Like
the need for therapy...."
"Thanks for being a part of my life!!! I never knew what evil was before
this!"
"Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go, would you like to
take this knife out of my back? You'll probably need it again."
"Someday I hope to get married, but not to you."
"Happy Birthday! You look great for your age ... almost lifelike!
"When we were together, you always said you'd die for me. Now that we've
broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise."
"I knew the day would come when you would leave me for my best friend.
So here's his leash, water bowl and chew toys."
"We have been friends for a very long time - what say we call it quits?"
"I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're here."
"Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. Did you ever find out who
the father was?"
"You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and there
was only one life jacket.... I'd miss you heaps and think of you often."
"Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday -
so we're having you put to sleep."
speediva
06-12-2002, 09:06 AM
How...... kind......... and.......... generous those are!
Gonthrax
06-12-2002, 04:56 PM
:hehehe: All are funny, but I'd like to make a card out of this one and actually give it to my best friend. He's appretiate it :D :D
"You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and there
was only one life jacket.... I'd miss you heaps and think of you often."
"You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and there
was only one life jacket.... I'd miss you heaps and think of you often."
Spec2 Girl
06-12-2002, 04:57 PM
hehehe, very funny! :hehehe: :D
TerminalVelocity
06-12-2002, 05:16 PM
man, those are great!
I would actually buy those if I saw them in the store :D
I would actually buy those if I saw them in the store :D
carnut
06-12-2002, 10:54 PM
Bad day in school?
Do you have a victim for each of those ideas or did they just come naturally?
I think Don Rickles is looking for a new writer!
Keep up the good work!
Do you have a victim for each of those ideas or did they just come naturally?
I think Don Rickles is looking for a new writer!
Keep up the good work!
primera man
06-13-2002, 12:59 AM
PMan like very much :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
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