Funny T-shirt Things Not to say To a Police Officer

I thought this would bring some humor to this forum. I would like to try some of these lines my self if i get pulled over again. I bought this shirt from spencers and this is wut it said:

Things Not To Say To A Police Officer:
1. Oink, Oink
2. No, YOU assume the Position!
3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
4. Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on "COPS"?
5. Do you have any idea how much of a hurry I'm in?
6. I hope you realize you're about to ruin a perfect record.
7. Sorry officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
8. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical shape to be a police officer.
9. What do you mean have i been drinking? You're the trained specialist.
10. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
11. Gee officer, your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?
12. Hey, can you give me another one of those full body cavity searches, please?
13. Whoops, that's the fake one... here ya go, this is the one.
14. Yes, I saw your lights on, but i thought you were going to get a doughnut.
15. Come on, write the stupid ticket, the bars close in 20 minutes.
16. You're lucky this car needs a tune-up or you'd have never caught me.
17. If you tried the stuff I just had, you wouldn't be so damn uptight.
18. What exactly is "Legally Drunk"?
19. So, what's a good bribe go for around here?
20. Well, when I reached down to pick up my crack pipe, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged in the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.

I hope yall liked the sayings. i saw the tshirt and just had to buy it lol. Number 7 is my favorite one.

Hah. Number 7 is pretty damn funny.

amusing. I personally love the beginning of "the longest yard" with adam sandler when he is dealing with the cops, drunk, and in his ex's stolen car...I laughed so hard when I first saw that.

lol, "Good news boys, I didn't spill my drink" :smokin:

Yeah i wish they had that on the t-shirt but the closest one was i cant reach my license unless u hold my beer

those are pretty funny man, nice shirt... is it just like a plain white T with the list or what???

Its a just plain gray t-shirt with the title next to a police officer and then the list under it.

yeah, I love these little things here's a few some friends and I thought of:

Things Not to say when you get pulled…

Never mind those NOS bottles, they’re empty How fast do you think your car is You wanna race? My lights do that too I’ve got a gun in the glove compartment I wasn’t breakin’ the law, It was a performance test Can we do one of those high speed chase things? is your refrigerator running? is that gun real I’m not that drunk I’ll give you a doughnut if you let this one slide Can we pretend this never happened Can I see your license and registration Do you know how fast you were going If there’s two things I hate, it’s ricers and cops I was gonna run, but I realized I’m almost outta gas I swear those bottles were empty That’s not my alcohol They used to call me “copkiller” You gotta use that radar gun to feel important don’t you Can’t believe you used spike strips, that’s just low… I’m an undercover FBI, you just let that international gangster get away My lawyer told me to run The voices in my head are telling me you’re a liar Is it Halloween already? I smell RICE! I smell PIG Your wife said hey… Do you know you’re driving a FORD? This little piggy went to market, this lil’ piggy stayed home, this lil’ piggy became a police officer What happened, the mall wasn’t paying enough? Isn’t it funny that my speedometer only says 120, but it’ll do more Hold on a second, I’m on a very important phone call I’ve never seen you before, how long you been a cop? (ticket)just throw it in the glove box with all the rest. are those real (points to handcuffs) could you shoot me with one of those rubber bullets? am I gonna be on TV? You ever seen Smoky and The Bandit? I’ve got diarrhea You said we’re going downtown… nah, I’ll pass, I just came from there You going my way? (after putting on the cuffs, begins frisking) My momma says don’t let strangers touch me there… Why you calling for backup, you scared to fight me alone You can’t be serious You can’t arrest me, I’ve got stock in Krispy Kreme You know, I always liked a woman in uniform I got pepper spray too

haha, one of the police officers who works with my dad, wanted to race his cop car against my dad's C5 Vette. He said he won't get a ticket in anyways, so my dad did it for shits and giggles. Needless to say, the cop car get its butt kicked lol.

lol, that's hilarious... wish I had the opportunity... the closest I've ever been was running from a SUV cop car... I didn't really know it was a cop until I hit 120... lol... then I said f'it, I'm gone... and he never caught me...

lol im going to buy a white t-shirt and get those sayings put on it too i like alot of them that shit is good. lol

my favorite is "your wife says hey..." that's classic man, my dad had an encounter with a cop on lake shore drive, back when he was driving his 72' dart..


Lake shore drive is pretty much a series of hills, so when my dad was in one of the valleys, the officer was a hill behind him... the officer finally came speeding up behind him and pulled him over... their convo went like this;

pops: is there a problem officer??
coper; yes, you were doing excess of 130 MPH
pops; what you just caught up to me now... what kinda engines do they give you guys in those POS's anyways??
*coper laughs*; alright, well I'm gonna' let you go, but obey the speed limit in the future

pops: is there a problem officer??
coper; yes, you were doing excess of 130 MPH
pops; what you just caught up to me now... what kinda engines do they give you guys in those POS's anyways??
*coper laughs*; alright, well I'm gonna' let you go, but obey the speed limit in the future
:rofl:

That's hilarious rocker... if I ever had a convo like that, they'd arrest me on the spot and impound my car... Police don't really seem to like me... I guess b/c I'm 19 with a car that'll leave both their car and the PD's car... I just hate those damn camaros...

yeah tell me about this hey guess wut i got another fricken ticket in my car my dad lets me drive it right. now this cop is an asshole. well im about to turn down my road and there is a shell station in front right. So im about to turn and its dark and i have my highbeams on. well a suv was coming so i turn them off really quickly. and i hit my lights by accident. well there was a cop behind the suv and he saw my lights were off and like when i was turning i realized they were off so i cut them on. and the cop turned around and put his lights on so i pulled into the shell station thinking oh he is just going to warn me bacause it was an accident. well the cop wouldnt hear anythign i said and he handed me a ticket. so i said well officer i thought u had to be realitivly in good shape to be a cop. after he hands me the ticket wow did his face turn red. cause he was fat one. so one of those comments came in handy for me. lol i didnt think they could give u a ticket for having ur lights off and it was a fricken accident to that really pissed me off

^lol, I don't think the comments really helped... if u notice these say "funny things NOT to say to a poilce officer" lol... I wish I had the balls to do it... but I've got enough points and stuff, if I even looked at the officer wrong they'd try and take me in...