There Goes The Party

FROM: Dave Gross, Director


TO: All Employees


DATE: 4th November 2005


RE: Christmas Party

I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols...please feel free to sing along.

And don't be surprised if the VP shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1.00p.m. Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for
employees! The VP will make a special announcement at the Party.

Merry Christmas to you and your Family,

Dave
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FROM: Dave Gross, Director


TO: All Employees


DATE: 5th November 2005

RE: Holiday Party

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we're calling it our 'Holiday Party'. The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians. There will be no Christmas tree or Christmas carols sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.

Happy now?

Happy Holidays to you and your family,

Dave.
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FROM; Dave Gross, Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: 6th November 2005

RE: Holiday Party

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table...you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only", you wouldn't be anonymous anymore!!!! How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody?

Forget about the gift exchange, no gift exchange allowed now since the Union Officials feel that $10.00 is too much money and Management believes $10.00 is a little cheap.

NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.

Dave.
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FROM: Dave Gross, Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: 7th November 2005

RE: Holiday Party

What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees'
beliefs, perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party - or else package everything up for you to take home in a little foil doggy bag. Will that work?

Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the toilets, Gays are allowed to sit with each other, Lesbians do not have to sit with gay men, each will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangements for the gay men's table too. To the person asking permission to cross dress - no cross dressing to be allowed.

We will have booster seats for short people. Low fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control the salt used in the food. We suggest those people with high blood pressure taste the food first.. There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics, the restaurant cannot supply "No Sugar" desserts.

Sorry! Did I miss anything?!?!?!?!?!

Dave.
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FROM: Dave Gross, Director

TO: All Freaking Employees

DATE: 8 November 2005

RE: The Freaking Holiday Party.

Vegetarian pricks! I've had it with you people !!! We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death", as you so
quaintly put it, you'll get your Freaking salad bar, including organic tomatoes, But you know tomatoes have feeling too, They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing the scream right NOW!!

I hope you all have a rotten holiday, drink, drive and die.

The Grouch from HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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FROM: Ken Sack - Acting Director

DATE: 9th November 2005

RE: Dave Gross and Holiday Party

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Dave Gross a speedy recovery, and I'll continue to forward your cards to him. In the meantime, the Management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and instead, give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd December off - with out pay.

Ken

I hope you all have a rotten holiday, drink, drive and die.


HAHA. I love that! :lol2:

:rofl:

That was good....

made me smaile a little, ecspecialy the vegitarian part.

lol, that was a great read
oh man, remember those vegetrain threads?lol

:lol:

That was great ... and unfortunately reality !!!

lol, sad but true.

drink drive and die!

Saving that one. Nice find lol.

:lol::lol::lol:

i really hope that wasn't real....lol......there are f**kin whiners in the world that would wreck the party like that too!!

it's nice and all that we "support" diversity but this is america and a huge portion of the country is jewish and they came to this country after we did so if they didn't like it they shouldn't've come. we're having a christmas party, deal with it. it was kinda funny in class today cuz the jewish girl got in a fight with someone cuz when she *the jewish girl* tried to call a christmas tree a christmas tree, someone was like no you can't call it that, it's a holiday tree, we need to be respectful of other's beliefs. that person also knew she was jewish..oh well amusing thread btw :)

Yea, thank God I don't know anyone like that. I'm muslim, don't celebrate christmas but have nothing against it either. I'm not afraid that the tree of death will attack me at night, nor do I believe that Santa is the most bizarre pedophile in history. In fact this year we're even having the whole turkey dinner thing with all the friends I can gather under my roof. I mean come on, you don't celebrate it but why deny someone else from doing so? We take the stat holiday's benefits without a second thought, but then as soon as we think we're being pushed into believing in christmas, they scream their losing religious rights.
You get paid time and a half, sometimes even double time and a half to work that day if you WANT to. You can chooses to stay home and still make a normal days wage without getting out of bed. Everyone enjoys some time off and is the perfect oppurtinity to get together with family and friends you haven't seen for a while.
Fuck, my little brothers that go to school now miss out on some good shit that I had back in the day. I went to a public school and had days where we made crafts and shit related to christmas. The school's minority were christians, more muslims and jews were into it than some of the chirstians. It's a fucking child, no one is brainwashing them with gingerbread cookies or gifts. GIFTS!!! What kinda sick bastard will deny a child the joy of recieving a gift from another child in their grade. I mean, isn't this the kind of scociety we want, where everyone is courteous, giving, caring?

Sorry for the rant...I'm just a little stressed everytime I hear people complain about Christmas....and it ain't even apart of my religion, man if I was Christian, I'd go insane on these bitches.

i agree.....i'm really laid back and i don't think that everyone should have such a problem w/ other religions and their beliefs....The Holiday season is for getting together w/ family and having a good time.

I don't get why people complain so damn much...just be happy........

OMG that is hilarious! I cant stop laughing right now! :lol:

Religion sucks.

That is funny