A funny or 2.........

Warning this thread may cause offense to some of ya...........

A new priest was beginning in the Church confessional. His predecessor had given him a list of sins and their punishments.

The door opened and a man entered. "Forgive me Father for I have sinned," he began. "I have stolen."

The priest looked up stealing on the list and told him to say one Hail Mary.

The next time the door opened, a woman walked in. "Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I had oral sex with the window cleaner."

The priest looked up oral sex on the list but couldn't find it. He opened his door and called out to the cleaning lady, "What does Father John give for a blow job?"

"£12.50 if I take me teeth out."

ewwwwwwwwwwwwww

Joe took his blonde blind date to a seaside carnival.
'What would you like to do first, Kim?' asked Joe. 'I want to get weighed,' she said. They ambled over to the weight guesser, who guessed 70 kg. Kim got on the scale and it read 67 kg and she won a prize. .

Next the couple went on the ferris wheel. When the ride was over,
Joe again asked Kim what she wanted to do next. 'I want to get weighed,' she said.

Back to the weight guesser they went and because she'd been there before the man guessed Kim's correct weight and Joe lost his dollar.

Kim and Joe walked around the carnival and again he asked,
'Where to next?' Kim responded: 'I want to get weighed,' but by this time Joe figured she was really weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a handshake.

Her flatmate, Laura, asked Kim about her blind date, 'How'd it go?' she asked.

Kim said, 'Oh, Waura, it was wousy.'



:rolleyes: :D :rolleyes:

Little Johnny walked into his dad's bedroom one day, only to catch him sitting on the side of his bed sliding on a condom. Johnny's father, in an attempt to hide his wood, bent over as if to look under the bed. Little Johnny asked curiously, "Whatcha ya doin', Dad?"

His father quickly replied, "I thought I saw a rat go underneath the bed."

Little Johnny replied, "Whatcha ya gonna do, screw him?"


:bloated: :hehehe: :hehehe:

Valentines Day Card greetings...

10. I admire your strength, I admire your spunk
But the thing I like best, is getting you drunk.

9. Our love will never become cold and hollow
Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow.

8. I bought this Valentine's card at the store.
In hopes that later, you'd be my whore.

7. This feels so good, it feels so right
I just wish it wasn't $250 a night.

6. You're a man of style, you're a man of class
Especially when I'm spanking, your big-round-fat ass.

5. Before I met you, my heart was so famished
But now I'm fulfilled. . . SO MAKE ME A SANDWICH!!!

4. Through all the things that came to pass
Our love has grown. . . but so's your ass.

3. You're a honey. . . and you're a cutie
I just wish you had J-Lo's "booty".

2. I don't wanna be sappy or silly or corny
So, right to the point, let's do it, I'm horny!

1. If you think that hickey looks like a blister
You should check out the one that I gave to your sister!

Originally posted by ragt20
Little Johnny walked into his dad's bedroom one day, only to catch him sitting on the side of his bed sliding on a condom. Johnny's father, in an attempt to hide his wood, bent over as if to look under the bed. Little Johnny asked curiously, "Whatcha ya doin', Dad?"

His father quickly replied, "I thought I saw a rat go underneath the bed."

Little Johnny replied, "Whatcha ya gonna do, screw him?"


:bloated: :hehehe: :hehehe:

ROFL! :hehehe: Good stuff :D

hahahaha :hehehe: :hehehe: :p

All class there RAGT20.

they were werry werry funny:flash: