For the guys
KatWoman097
11-30-2005, 11:58 PM
Stole this from another forum, but I figure you boys would appreciate it:
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
Damien
12-01-2005, 12:06 AM
Alwaysa good read Kat
GForce957
12-01-2005, 12:15 AM
haha so true so true
KatWoman097
12-01-2005, 12:18 AM
My husband would probaby appreciate the dog one :lol2:
'97ventureowner
12-01-2005, 12:20 AM
:repost: (but still a good read nonetheless.)
v10_viper
12-01-2005, 12:36 AM
Repost but well worth it!! I always get a laugh out of that...
Quickshift
12-01-2005, 12:45 AM
watch out tonio :)
tonioseven
12-01-2005, 11:02 AM
watch out tonio :)
:lol: I already know!! I'm just glad she's back! :iceslolan
:lol: I already know!! I'm just glad she's back! :iceslolan
luvsvettes
12-01-2005, 11:11 AM
very nice!!!
Zachp911
12-01-2005, 04:39 PM
Pretty funny... :lol:
jcsaleen
12-01-2005, 04:44 PM
Not bad... Old but good... :)
RickwithaTbird
12-01-2005, 06:34 PM
skrepost.
1986Z28
12-02-2005, 07:04 PM
Lol!!!!!!!!!
Dustin_S
12-02-2005, 07:37 PM
actually, assuming you guys aren't talking about the post made back when I was a member of the this forum the first time around....
....threepost! :) but what the hell, it's Katwoman (who has not once been on AIM since I added her two-three years ago) so we can overlook the bannage :-D
....threepost! :) but what the hell, it's Katwoman (who has not once been on AIM since I added her two-three years ago) so we can overlook the bannage :-D
KatWoman097
12-02-2005, 10:30 PM
actually, assuming you guys aren't talking about the post made back when I was a member of the this forum the first time around....
....threepost! :) but what the hell, it's Katwoman (who has not once been on AIM since I added her two-three years ago) so we can overlook the bannage :-D
I don't sign on too often...if I do I end up blabbing all night and get nothing done http://katwoman097.com/uploads/smileys/happysad001.gif
....threepost! :) but what the hell, it's Katwoman (who has not once been on AIM since I added her two-three years ago) so we can overlook the bannage :-D
I don't sign on too often...if I do I end up blabbing all night and get nothing done http://katwoman097.com/uploads/smileys/happysad001.gif
Dustin_S
12-02-2005, 10:32 PM
yeah, yeah...I've heard it all before. Actually, I just realized that i removed everyone I didn't talk to all that often...but I forget when I did it
clawhammer
12-02-2005, 10:46 PM
Katwoman has posted a lot of good jokes lately. Keep it up.
SupraZone
12-05-2005, 07:17 PM
oldie but goodie :D
Automotive Network, Inc., Copyright ©2026
