The perfect day

The Perfect Day - Her

8:45 Wake up to hugs and kisses
9:00 5 lbs lighter on the scale
9:30 Light Breakfast
11:00 Sunbathe
12:30 Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe
1:45 Shopping
2:30 Run into boyfriend's/husband's ex and notice she's gained 30 lbs
3:00 Facial, massage, nap
7:30 Candlelight dinner for two and dancing
10:00 Make love
11:30 Pillow talk in his big strong arms

The Perfect Day - Him

6:45 Alarm.
7:00 Shower and massage.
7:30 Blowjob.
7:45 Massive dump while reading USA Today sports section.
8:15 Limo arrives, Stoli Bloody Marys.
8:30 Butler Aviation, O'Hare Field, Lear Jet to Augusta, Georgia.
9:30 Front nine holes, Augusta National Golf Club.
11:30 Lunch - 2 dozen oysters, 3 Heinekens.
12:30 Blowjob.
12:45 Back nine holes, Augusta National Golf Club.
2:30 Limo to Augusta Airport, Bombay Sapphire Martini.
3:30 Nassau, Bahamas, Afternoon fishing with all female crew (topless). Sex for each fish caught. Catch 1249 lb. Blue Marlin. Grilled tuna and steamed lobster appetizers, six Heinekens, nap.
6:15 Blowjob.
6:30 Lear Jet return flight, total body massage in transit.
7:30 Shit, shower, shave.
8:00 Watch CNN Live coverage of Bill Clinton's resignation. Hillary and Al Gore are indicted in the same scandal (which involves graphic pictures and large farm animals).
9:00 Dinner at Ritz Carlton, Oysters Casino, 20 oz. Filet mignons (rare), Gorgonzola salad, Fettucini Alfredo, Chateau Lafite Rothschild 1963 (magnum) creme brute, Louis XII Cognac, Cohiba Lancero
10:30 Sex with 3 women, all from different countries
11:30 Whirlpool, steam and massage. Women quietly get dressed, hail cab and leave. Midnight Blowjob. Sleep

I like it, except it's a :repost: that is older than them thar' hills.

And if you read the last line, the guy has to give himself a blowjob?

^I dont think Moppie has had a problem with it. :p

You forgot something, the fact we gain no weight what-so-ever. We're ripped man!!! :cheers:

haha thats pretty funny

It was nice...........besides the fact it being a repost.

Its still weird to look at tho.....

What's a blowjob?

What's a blowjob?
You're kidding right...


:repost: by the way.

What's a blowjob?

Its when your hairs wet, and you get the blowdryer out.

Guys tend to love it

funny if it were true. here MY perfect day (and I'm a chick)

12pm - wake up to the hottest guy in the world, get on top of him, and have sex with him (awake of course)
1pm - finish sex, take a quick shower
115pm - make breakfast/lunch for us, completely vegan
2pm - go for a drive in my fiat spyder, top down
3pm - come home, watch news, see that super tough animal cruelty laws have passed, including forced veganism on everyone (hey, its MY perfect day, ok?)
4pm - go for a horseback ride through a populated park and have my trained horse trample every person who has ever said anything nasty to me.
5pm - come home to super sexy guy and have wild sex over my kitchen table
6pm - go have fancy vegan dinner with super sexy guy and shit loads of red wine
8pm - come home trashed and play zelda
9pm - more sex till we both fall asleep.


this would be the weekend, during the week my perfect day would include working at my own veterinary practice and converting every pet owner to raw (or biologically appropriate) feeding.

a girl can dream

Ewwwww.....please tell me your going to clean the kitchen table after having wild sex all over it? Crusty.

Ewwwww.....please tell me your going to clean the kitchen table after having wild sex all over it? Crusty.

OVER the kitchen table. Not ON the kitchen table.

sheesh

:smokin:

Good, I thought you were going to make the poor guy do it, after tiring him out all day having sex. :icon16: :p

Would be a great day, except for the forced vegan part

Yea vegan's suck. I like meat, it tastes good. Animals deserve to be eaten if they can't defend themselves. My perfect day would be eating a side of beef, with a keg of beer. That's about it. Maybe screwing some crazy hot chick. Peace-

Eh.. my perfect day would be on a weekend and in this order..

11:00: Wakeup, have sex with this hot chick I know
11:40: Eat something good like a Jack in the box's Ultimate Cheeseburger (THATS RIGHT IN THE MORNING)
12:00: Leave and go cruise around for a couple of hours, enjoying a good techno, trance, or rap CD.
2:00: Come back home, play some video games
5:00: Have some more sex..
6:00:Chill out with my friends
11:00:Have even more sex
12:00: Goto sleep.

Oh yeah, that sounds about right. :D

Yea vegan's suck. I like meat, it tastes good. Animals deserve to be eaten if they can't defend themselves.

I wasn't looking for a debate or to be blasted for MY perfect day thank you very much. I don't push my morals on anyone or say shit all about how I live my life.

And god forbid I say one more thing about it, then I'll just be passed off as another crazy vegetarian ranting :uhoh:

Perfect day

06.30 - woken up by a blozzer from horny gf
07.00 - back to sleep
09.30 - wake up again, have sex with horny gf
10.30 - shower
11.00 - gf makes breakfast while i check my shares - my portfolio has doubled in value since the previous night
11.30 - bacon sandwiches for breakfast
12.00 - go for a drive on mountain roads. blozzer from the gf as i drive
01.00 - go to a friend's for a BBQ lunch with all the boys. have a couple of beers and chill in the sun
04.00 - play some xbox with the guys
06.00 - go to the gym for a nice massage
07.00 - go to gf's for wild monkey sex
09.00 - out for dinner with gf (steak frites at my fave restaurant)
10.30 - join the guys in my friend's bar, drinks on the house all night
01.00 - go home, have sex with horny gf
02.30 - sleep :)

My perfect day.

5:30 AM: Get up
6:00 AM: High speed blast through Europe in my Ferrari F40
11:30 PM: Bed

Yea vegan's suck. I like meat, it tastes good. Animals deserve to be eaten if they can't defend themselves. My perfect day would be eating a side of beef, with a keg of beer. That's about it. Maybe screwing some crazy hot chick. Peace-

I see much intelligence in your post. There is hope

My perfect day.

5:30 AM: Get up
6:00 AM: High speed blast through Europe in my Ferrari F40
11:30 PM: Bed



:uhoh:Your perfect day doesnt include women, sex, beer, sex, blowjobs, food, or even sex for that matter.

And god forbid I say one more thing about it, then I'll just be passed off as another crazy vegetarian ranting :uhoh:

oops to late for that.


Sorry for the double post guys.

I'm kinda withJimster on this one. Not a Ferrai though. My car I built myself...oh! Something classic...Shelby, Stingray, GTO, something like that driving cross country.

Oh! And to get into a police chase and i escape! Like in Dukes of Hazzard. Yes!!! Police chase! sweetness!

:uhoh:Your perfect day doesnt include women, sex, beer, sex, blowjobs, food, or even sex for that matter.
That's only true when the wife's not looking. :p


You can't drive an F40 drunk, it's hard enough sober.